The very first time I masturbated was probably the most shameful day of my life. I was eleven and my parents had left me home alone for the afternoon. I had all this energy and I didn't know why. I rode my bike to this construction site and wandered around kicking over stacks of 2x4s and throwing rocks. I picked up this big piece of sheet rock and threw it down onto a spray paint can, which split and covered me in fluorescent pink paint. I ran home to listen to Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf half a dozen times then proceeded to burn rolled up pieces of newspaper in the kitchen sink. The house got smoky so I opened all the windows and sprayed pot-pouri deodorizer through the house. I was like a static bundle of energy and I just had no idea what to do with myself.

So, of course, I headed down to my older brother's room in the basement and went straight for his porn stash. This wasn't the first time I'd done this, in fact I'd seen these magazines hundreds of times but never quite knew what to do with myself afterwards. Today was different. I marched up to the bathroom and drew a hot bath. I sat in the tub with my proud little boner and a fist covered in moisturizer and let the hand I hold the mic with take control. It's as if it was an innate skill. I knew what to do, and I did it. I did it until my legs felt like they were going to shoot off my body. My heart pounded and my whole body went blotchy and red. It was fantastic. For the first time I was completely relaxed. Max chill. When you're a kid you run around and scream and yell like an idiot because you're sexually frustrated. Then one day you do it, you jerk off and you have a whole new understanding of life. I knew a guy in high school who never masturbated and so he wrote murder mystery plays about Snoopy. That kind of shit is truly strange. You're not completely adjusted unless you've jerked off. Until then you're just a weird little freak with too much time on his hands.

My parents came home to a crime scene. The doors were unlocked, all the windows were open, the house smelled like flowers, there was ash in the kitchen sink, the bath was spilling over and their eleven year old son was passed out on his bed half naked. In their minds on that day I had been smoking drugs or drinking their booze or some other terrible shit. In reality I had just lit small fires in the kitchen sink and jerked off. That ain't terrible shit. That's cool.

SEBASTIEN GRAINGER
You can shake hands with Sebastien from Canada's Death From Above 1979 when they play their Australian shows. Thursday 24th Feb at The Zoo in Brisbane, Friday 25th Feb at @ Newtown in Sydney and Saturday 26th Feb at Ding Dong in Melbourne.

COMMENTS

69 Guy, on Sep 04 2008 06:25:12 AM wrote: So anyway, after wanking each other off, he responded by asking me to suck him off. Which, now I was comfortable, I did. He let out several yelps and gasps- clearly he liked it, and after giving head to him for what seemed like an eternity, I stopped. We both left after that. I never saw him again, but I loved every second! 69 Guy, on Sep 04 2008 06:20:25 AM wrote: He stared at me for a moment before saying 'I guess we came here for the same thing huh?' I responded nervously, as I was not to comfortable to pleasure myself with another guy. However, he didn't seem to mind, and being with someone else unintentionally was kind of a turn on. After a while, we both decided to wank each other off, as we now enjoyed each other's company... 69 Guy, on Sep 04 2008 06:15:14 AM wrote: So later that night, I went back to the pool, took all my clothes off, and entered- the pool was freezing, but the summer breeze was warm and comforting and after swimming around the pool a few times, I was warm. I swam up against the side to get myself off. I made sure I used a condom to stop any jizz entering the pool, and as I jerked off, I heard a noise- which turned out to be another guy... 69 Guy, on Sep 04 2008 06:09:37 AM wrote: I remember my first wank with another guy clearly- It was in summer, and during summer I used to hang out at this park near my house, which had a pool. Me and my mates used to go there to 'eye up' the girls. Anyway,I had developed a fetish for masturbating in public, and decided to go there at night, when no-one was around... Subject: my first wank Date: Jan 21 2008 06:37:51 PM Author: john it was at the end of the war, we had been evacuated up north . we was living with a family . this day i went to the toilets i was then about 6 . i was touching my willy and started to pull my foreskin back ,and then wondered what happened if i continued after while i had this wonderful feeling and had to stop as i could not stand the sensation . after that i wanked myself daily . still do at 71 yrs old ,and anyone else i can do it with Subject: College Wank Date: Dec 07 2007 07:03:38 AM Author: Essex Girl So, as his schlong penetrated me, he let out several gasps of pleasure. I placed my hands on his ass and told him to go faster, which he did, as he held me in his arms. His cock felt great, it was just long enough to gently touch my g- spot and make him giggle in excitement. As he humped me faster, I could feel each touch as I became overwhelmed with pleasure, and after 5 minutes, he stopped, as I licked his cock dry. He was late for class, but i'm sure he didn't mind! Subject: College Wank Date: Dec 06 2007 04:28:45 PM Author: Essex Girl So there I was, staring at this really cute guy jerking his hommer. After looking at him, he caught sight of me. I initially thought he would recoil in shock, but he was extremely relaxed. And, he beckoned me into his cubicle. After entering, he admitted his feelings for me, and removed all of his clothes, before saying 'i want to give you a little something', and he took a condom from his trousers, slid his cock into it, and placed his arms around me. And so, his man meat entered my tunnel of love... Subject: College Wank Date: Dec 06 2007 03:55:37 PM Author: Essex Girl Hi, yes I know what your'e thinking, what's a girl doing on a masturbation site? Well, let me tell you. I was in college the other day, and another group of students from a different course were with us for the day. And, there was this really cute guy. At breaktime, I followed him and strangely enough, he went into the girls toilets. I thought it was a joke, but nevertheless I followed him. He had already entered a cubicle, so I went into the one next to him. And, after looking through a hole in the cubicle wall, I saw him bashing his bishop... Subject: fuck wank sucky Date: Dec 05 2007 07:53:55 AM Author: Kinkybot One of my friends invited me over to his house after school, and I accepted. When I got there, he asked me 'have you ever wanked another guy before?' I said no, and I took his clothes off and bashed his bishop. As he smiled and laughed, I sucked his schlong and later I fucked him up his nice warm ass. God I loved that afternoon! Subject: Fellatio in the mythical forest Date: Nov 26 2007 03:23:07 PM Author: Down on one I was walking in the school grounds once, and this kid came up to me and asked if i'd ever gone down on another guy before. I said no, and he responded by asking if I would go down on him. I asked him if it was a joke, but he was serious. So, hiding behind a tree I lowered his trousers, and sucked his schlong. It was fucking great! Subject: Down, Down Down! Date: Oct 27 2007 01:52:38 PM Author: Frahindericoathcionaricamantigo I wanked this really hot guy in the toilets. He had spiky blond hair. After he sprayed all over me, he pulled my jeans down, and started sucking my schlong. It felt hot and wet, and my sperm shot into his mouth, which he swallowed with one big gulp! How I loved that day... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! 4 years later: Date: Oct 26 2007 05:59:29 PM Author: Target Four years later, and I state to my girlfriend, 'Iv'e been invited to a get- together by one of my friends, can you spend the night alone?' to which she replies 'yes of course'. I told her about that passionate moment, and she knew I was really close to him. As I left, I looked at her. I told her I was going to a party, but deep down, she knows exactly were i'm going. The person who I shagged so long ago had left me his phone number and address, and I was going to pay him one last visit... Hope he enjoys this one as well as the last! Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 9 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:51:58 PM Author: Target I shouted 'that's enough.' I had given him the satisfaction he so very much needed and desired. As his shaking body suddenly gained control, and he sat up, glistening with sweat, and said 'thank you.' I stared at him, as he put his clothes back on, and passionately kissed me. And then, after everything I had given him, he said 'same time next week?' to which I replied, 'are you kidding?'. He looked as though I was serious, but I then gave him the same smile and wink that led to our passionate moment. He smiled back, and pulled out a pen, and some paper... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 8 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:45:48 PM Author: Target As he lay there, yelping, moaning, smiling, laughing, twitching, and shouting various comments, I became one. My body was now shared, as my penis slid down his warm, comforting tunnel. The speed of my penetration accelerated beyond overdrive- I was going faster than speed, sound or light. The mixture of sperm and pre- cum lubricated the moist, smooth- lined anus that he had been so desparate to share with me. And as I yelped and moaned with him, he jerked furiously, as never- ending streams of sperm shooted out his penis. He was enjoying every second, but then... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 7 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:38:26 PM Author: Target As I humped him harder and harder, he became more and more excited. He was now shaking with pleasure and excitement- an engine of sex, fueled by testosterone and adrenline. He was an effigy of manhood, his body glistening, and his facial hair shining pure black. His freckles became more and more exposed, and his jet black hair lay on his forehead. His smile, refused to expire. He was in his prime, as he shouted 'fuck yes! harder! hit that fuckin' spot! oh yes, on the head son!'. But he had no idea what it felt like for me... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 6 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:32:03 PM Author: Target As my penis slid deep into him, he made several moaning noises, to which I replied 'i'm not hurting you am I?' he replied 'yes, but i love pain, it makes it makes the experience more thrilling.' So I started humping him slowly, as my penis explored his dump tunnel. As I reached as far as I could go, he let out a yelp of joy, and stated 'oh yes! you've hit it! keep going gayboy!' As I humped harder and harder, he became more excited, and aroused. He was begging for more!... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 5 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:24:48 PM Author: Target So there I was, staring at a shining, smooth, glistening body, as he stood there with the condom packet in his hand. He asked 'you know what i'm going to ask. You're not afraid are you?'. I replied no, as he at least had protection for me. He handed the condom over, and said 'i'm not gay, just curious.' I replied, I know, and slipped the condom over my now solid penis, as it begged to enter him. He got into the frogslegs position, lying on the toilet seat, and put his hands behind his head, and his legs on my shoulders, as I entered his tunnel of love... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 4 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:18:51 PM Author: Target So then, I gabbed his cock and pumped it slowly- but he wasn't satisfied. He yelled 'Harder, Faster! put some muscle into it!'. So I continued pumping his cum gun until he let out a very comforting 'aaaaauuuughhhhh!' and sprayed all over me. Once done, he stated 'suck it dry, motherfucker' to which I gladly agreed. I could clearly tell he was enjoying it. Sweat covered his entire body, making it shiny and smooth. His facial hair glistened as he said to me, 'one last thing', and pulled a condom packet from his floor- thrown trousers... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 3 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:11:46 PM Author: Target After entering the cubicle, he locked the door, and said 'let's get started.' Immediately after saying this, he literally ripped his clothes off, and stood there, completly naked, in a grubby toilet cubicle. I looked at his body, and then saw, unsurprisingly, his fat, pudgy penis swell up and stand on end. He then said 'sit there, and give me a blowjob.' I couldn't refuse, he was so hot, so I sucked him. Occasionally he would yelp and moan, and say things like 'fuck yeah!'. I continued like this, and after giving him some much needed head, he stated 'I want more!'... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 2 Date: Oct 26 2007 05:03:22 PM Author: Target and he said 'no'. I then asked him if he would like to, to which he replied, 'i'm not gay. I entertain myself and myself only.' I said to him 'I'm not gay either, but you have a fantastic body.' He then said 'what's that got to do with anything?'. I playfully looked at him, and said 'nothing, but it would be a shame if it went to waste.' He looked at me, mortified, and said 'fuck off gayboy.' But he seductively smiled, winked, and beckoned me into the cubicle... Subject: Hammerin' a big guy! part 1 Date: Oct 26 2007 04:55:46 PM Author: Target I was at this gun club the other night, and there was a really cute guy. He was big, strong, and very masculine, complete with freckles and spiky black hair. I followed him into the toilets, and I asked him if he wanked, he replied 'Yes', and I asked him if he had ever done 'it' with another guy before... Subject: Two Guy Fuck Date: Oct 14 2007 11:20:02 AM Author: Fuckin Wanker! It was the last day of school, and I wanted to give one of my friends (whom I would never see again) a proper send off. So at the end of the day, I invited him to the changing rooms, and tod him what I wanted to do. As we wouldn't see each other again, he agreed, and we shagged in the toilets. It wasn't the best location but he was to fucked up to care! Subject: The true definition of orgasm Date: Oct 04 2007 03:51:53 PM Author: Wankstar For months now, I have tried do define in words how orgasm feels. So if anyone visits this site, please tell me if my description is correct. First of all,when you wank, your foreskin runs over a very excitable membrane below the bell- end. this action causes a strong distorted tickling sensasion. As you continue, the temporary sensation becomes more prolonged. When you reach orgasm, the sensation is prolonged for the amount of time necessary to experience the sensation properly. During this time, friction becomes an entirely new force/ energy. It feels as though a colossal lightning storm is Subject: I shagged a guy too! Date: Sep 06 2007 11:29:02 AM Author: The guy in front Yes its true!, last nite I shagged a really cute guy. He was blonde with freckles, and the cutest smile you could ever imagine. His ass was nice and gooey. I shagged him in the frogslegs position, so I could pinch his nipples and tickle his cock. He Loved It! Subject: Nevermind a wank, beware of the shag! Date: Sep 05 2007 01:33:48 PM Author: Dick Shagger Nevermind wanking another guy, I shagged one! His ass felt great on my cock: It was warm, juicy, and accomodated my cock perfectly! After 5 mins he was yelping, giggling, moaning, and laughing. I hit his g-spot like a hammer on a nail! It felt great! His Asstube was like a warm, comforting vortex into pleasure itself. Sound good? Subject: (speaks for itself) Date: Sep 05 2007 01:24:54 PM Author: Two Guy Wank I had a great wank with a 20 year old once. I jerked his nice rigid cock for only 30 seconds before he gave a comforting yelp and sprayed all over me. God he was hot!I was 16 at the time, but he absolutely loved it! Subject: double quickie Date: Sep 02 2007 12:58:09 PM Author: Firewall My first wank with another guy happened when I was 16 years old. A friend of mine asked me how to wank, so I offered to show him. I told him to think of a really fit girl, and he said that his cock had gone hard. I told him to stroke it. He wasn't used to doing it, and he gave up after only a few minutes. I told him to keep going, and stroke it harder. He was clearly enjoying it, but it was taking its toll on him. Just then, we was interrupted, as my mother called us to get our breakfast. After this, I showed him a private area of the attic, and I told him to continue there. After 5 minutes, Subject: my first wank Date: Aug 23 2007 10:55:29 AM Author: anoni-mouse i went to an all boys school andwe didnt have sex-ed untill year 8 (12-13years) and since we had all had a stiffy before then not all of us knew what to do or if it was normal, and well i was on a hilll that had a river urnning through it with my friend and it was a hot day so we lay on the gras with out tops off like normal and then i asked him whether he ever had a hard cock wondering whether i was just an odd one out or what, and he said yeah all the time well he taught me what to do he stripped off and stroked his penis till it was ahrd and then he told me to do the same and copy what h Subject: what does masturbate mean??? Date: Jul 07 2007 08:49:09 AM Author: the sex professor To answer your question, masturbate means to stimulate the genitals. For boys, that means rubbing the penis until orgasm, and for girls, they can either rub the clitoris or stimulate the G- spot inside their vagina. So there you have it, the meaning of masturbation. Subject: my first orgasm Date: Jul 06 2007 03:22:55 PM Author: masturbation 4 the nation I discovered my first orgasm when i was about 10 years old. I was sat in class, and I really needed the toilet, but the teacher wouldn't let me go. I was shaking so badly that the intense friction between my wiener and my legs caused a euphoric buzzing and tickling sensation. I wasn't sure what it was, but I managed to replicate it the next day without anyone noticing. It wasn't until 1 year later that I realised what had happened to me that day. From then on, I became a frequent wanker, and proud of it. Although i do miss that day, the orgasm was more intense than the ones i have now. Subject: my first orgasm Date: Jul 06 2007 03:22:23 PM Author: masturbation 4 the nation I discovered my first orgasm when i was about 10 years old. I was sat in class, and I really needed the toilet, but the teacher wouldn't let me go. I was shaking so badly that the intense friction between my wiener and my legs caused a euphoric buzzing and tickling sensation. I wasn't sure what it was, but I managed to replicate it the next day without anyone noticing. It wasn't until 1 year later that I realised what had happened to me that day. From then on, I became a frequent wanker, and proud of it. Although i do miss that day, the orgasm was more intense than the ones i have now. Subject: my wank Date: Feb 21 2007 12:57:10 PM Author: seun i just want to be a porn star Subject: masturbation Date: Feb 04 2006 12:41:25 PM Author: Souriete my first time was in the school toilets. I was around 11. A friend told me to watch him doing it. I watched and saw him get stiff, then he jerked a bit and threw his head back but nothing came out. I asked him what it was all about so he lent over and started stroking me off, after a while I found out why he had writhed about, great feeling... nothing came out but boy he made me feel good Subject: First Wank Date: Dec 22 2005 08:28:26 PM Author: WankStar I was walking in the woods and saw a couple having sex and wanked off. She jumped in the water to wash the spunk off. It was nice Subject: reader's confessions Date: Sep 23 2005 05:09:40 AM Author: Joe The comments have become something close to "Reader's Confessions" I think you'll agree Subject: Philosophy Date: Jun 13 2005 09:16:18 PM Author: Rebecca Why is it that the first masturbation gig always occurs in the bathtub? Subject: it'll make you blind Date: May 24 2005 06:15:10 AM Author: thumper.... Yes it's true kids. Touch it and it falls off. Aggrivate the poor creature and the tendons between your eyes and your genitils will tear leaving you blind and limp like some sort of unruly science experiment. You'll have to have a really embarassing operation and explain to all the doctors why you couldn't stop playing with your pink telescope. Subject: masturbation Date: May 15 2005 12:51:21 PM Author: River Seeing sebastien drumming fast is an orgasm in its self seen them at the paramount in moncton hope they will come back as for masturbation, wow lifes little pleasures i like touching my pussy in the early morning it gets me ready for the day Subject: this Date: Mar 27 2005 07:13:18 AM Author: me what does masturbate mean??? Subject: Am i troubled? Date: Mar 17 2005 06:49:32 PM Author: ron j i first masturbated when i was 6 years old. nothing came out but that hasnt stoped me since. let me tell ya. Subject: Thats great Date: Mar 14 2005 04:27:49 PM Author: Melissa hahaha, i always wanted stories of my favorite bands masturbation adventures. that made my day! Subject: Why? Date: Mar 04 2005 09:15:26 AM Author: Torontonian Why is Australia sucking this band's dick? Pathetic. They're alright at best. Subject: my first masturbate Date: Mar 02 2005 08:57:03 PM Author: phreaker I first saw porn on sattalite TV. Although I had played with myself "properly" as indicated in "my body book for boys." I had never achieved orgasm. Upon watching porn I was very aroused so I tried something new; I stuck my dick in bussiness of a vacum cleaner hoping for a "blow job." No good (and thankfully no harm either). Finally, I humped my pillow missionary style and made my very first wet spot. Happily I have made bigger and bigger wet spots since that wonderfull day. Subject: DFA @ Brissie Date: Feb 25 2005 02:18:41 AM Author: Blaze Saw Death From Above at the Zoo in Brisbane last nite. They fucking went off. Pity it was a Thursday nite gig but we had a kickass time. Fucking great musicians. Great rockin. Rockity rock rockckckkckckckckckckckkcckckckkkkkkkkkkkkkk jizzzz woo. Awesome