Because this is the Sex Issue, I decided I would copy down my "sex" list. It's actually more of a make-out list because I only had sex with that last person. The asterixes are for bases.
* means first base, ** means second and/or sloppy second,
*** means hand job. This list is from the years 1990-1997.
1. Todd Lieberman* 2. Kris Carter** 3. Collin Clauss*** 4. Jeremy Tamari* 5. Scott Tessler* 6. Kris Hamburger** 7. Brendan Lynch* 8. Scott Horowitz** 9. Carlo Seitz*** 10. Blake Goldsmith* 11. Devin Ward* 12. Vinnie Corrigan* 13. Ben Van Dyke* 14. Tim Williams* 15. Jeff Eienhorn* 16. Joe Bendan** 17. Cynthia Maurino* 18. Sheri Archidacono* 19. Josh Slater* 20. Michael Nagin**

2005
The list ends with No. 20, the boy who took my virginity. Before that, it was all running bases, and I didn't run very far. I gave out a few hand jobs and let a few boys touch my boobs.

Kris Carter was my first real boyfriend, and he was the worst kid in school. He bullied me into going out with him. Everyone was afraid of him. We nicknamed him Boar, because he reminded us of a wild boar or the Tasmanian Devil. We'd be like "Uh-oh, Carter is boaring out again." I met him at the Broadway Mall, and he asked for my number. I thought he was kinda cute, but when he called me on the phone he was like, "You're pretty, but why are your tits so small?" After that ultimate snap and a stolen Black Sheep CD, I dumped him.

Kris Hamburger kissed me on a diving board, and as he went to drag me closer, my ass scraped hard against whatever diving boards are made of. I'm fucking bleeding down my thighs while this kid is trying to shove his sloppy tongue down my throat. I had the biggest crush on Devin Ward, who kissed me outside in the freezing snowy weather and told me that I couldn't come in because his girlfriend was sitting in the kitchen. Everyone thought Jeff Eienhorn was gay, but he kissed me at Michelle Goldsmith's bat mitzvah, and I felt so cool for converting him. Cynthia and Sheri? I kissed them at my first rave.

I thought there was something wrong with me for so many years because I couldn't come and sex hurt. My first time wasn't even my first time. It hurt so much I was like, "No fucking way that beast is going to fit inside of me." It took a lot of years and a lot of beers for me to get over that pain. Now that I want to blaze, like, everyday, guys are like, "M'eh." I remember having a freakout a few years ago and telling my mom that I didn't like sex. She said, "Honey, it's not you. Men just don't know what they're doing." Best advice I've ever been given.

LESLEY ARFIN

COMMENTS

Subject: women Date: Mar 31 2005 06:48:51 AM Author: reuben women!cant live with them cant have hetrosexual sex without them! fuc'em anyway. ifucked one once. iwas shit. but fuck that. take smack instead. it makes you look like shit but you wont give a flying fuck 'cos you need to score! everdecreasing.......something....round..fuck im fucked Subject: Mr. Hamburger Date: Mar 23 2005 12:06:07 PM Author: fellow lady I knew a guy by that name who fits that discription. What did he look like? Subject: your sweet by God Date: Mar 10 2005 02:07:49 PM Author: kong teny You very execelent decrpitive words choices. I'm really very facnating with your style of writing. If you want to E-mail me.KongTeny711@hotmail.com Subject: your sweet by God Date: Mar 10 2005 02:07:49 PM Author: kong teny You very execelent decrpitive words choices. I'm really very facnating with your style of writing. If you want to E-mail me.KongTeny711@hotmail.com Subject: Politics Date: Mar 10 2005 12:19:58 PM Author: Carl Weathers Don't discuss sophisticated topics if you don't know what you're talking about you pissant. Right vs left is a little more complex than "stinking rich war mongering bible thumping nazis" vs "hipsters with fauxhawks." The American Conservative is Patrick Buchanan's magazine. He is a PALEOconservative. Not a neoconservative. Neocons love globalization (mass immigration and outsoursing jobs etc) and colonization (spreading war across the middle east). Paleoconservatives (AKA real conservatives) want to conserve. That is, keep jobs here and avoid war. Buchanan has been very clear about his hatred for the Wall Street Journal's immigration montering and the neoconservatives war mogering. He even wrote a book about it. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312341156/102-94 44169-0736142 /> Vice gleans a lot from the right and the left. It's angry little knee jerks like you that ignore the left stuff and start crying and screaming when they seem to stray. Subject: hello hello... Date: Mar 10 2005 12:26:58 AM Author: jordan I just want everyone to know that "VICE" is selling you out: It's run by a hardcore Republican who uses it to push a conservative agenda. It's not like "Might" magazine at all. Check out the column that the editor of VICE wrote for "American Conservative", where he says, among other things, "I run a $10 million corporation called VICE that has been deep inside the heads of 18-30s for the past 10 years." Wow, how "counter culture". How "hip." If you're a hipster that wants to embrace a right wing magazine, you've found it, but everyone else should be careful. This is "The Wall Street Journal" for young neoconservatives and has nothing to do with true counter culture. Subject: jews Date: Mar 03 2005 11:15:47 AM Author: lisa old testament only Subject: the one below Date: Feb 23 2005 07:54:31 PM Author: keith what are bible shorteners???? Subject: diary Date: Feb 22 2005 07:34:29 PM Author: go Bat mitzwahs and raves. ok.. I hope you realize someday, what a fucking waste of breathe it is to hang out with bibleshortners and wearing baggy neonpants. Subject: Stop using "me" a your name! Date: Feb 18 2005 01:22:10 PM Author: me That was my idea! Subject: Diary entry -Feb.1996 Date: Feb 17 2005 10:13:36 AM Author: L.Arfin "dear diary, tonight, in the alley behind Triple J Liquor, Carlo Seitz smacked me about the face and head with his dirty jewcock...I love being on my knees in the filth while giving handjobs...I will pursue it as my life's work..." Subject: what? Date: Feb 16 2005 08:43:01 PM Author: brenda starr Did you run out of diaries, Ann Frank? Subject: Scott Horowitz Date: Feb 16 2005 01:21:25 AM Author: William Douglas Allen 3 Eww! Leslie you did Scott Horowitz? your even more disgusting than you originally let on. There were two pussies in the bed that night if you know what I'm saying. Seriously, Leslie I know your not much to look at, but Scott Horowitz? What was it that got you; his New kids on the Block jean jacket, or the fact he is filthy (I've seen Young Street whores in Toronto cleaner than this guy) that he could grow mushrooms on his skin if it werent so acidic? I wont even point out the fact he's all "Jude up" as they say in Berlin. Scott use to be so fucking dirty when he was shooting that it never even crossed my mind he could function sexually, But I guess anything is possible with the right company and 8 lines of powder. Subject: lesley Date: Feb 15 2005 12:17:15 PM Author: ladyface is an honest engine, and i hope she gets to blaze anyone she wants. Subject: Burgertime Date: Feb 15 2005 02:16:13 AM Author: 39 Lesley gave a handjob to some guy named Kris HAMBURGER??? What the fuck? Hahahahahahahahahaha... Subject: Similac Ho Date: Feb 14 2005 02:40:38 PM Author: L.Cohen I'm happy you like Lesley...do you call her at home? Eat Ice Cream together and talk about your menstrual cycles? How do you know she’s not the biggest cunt in NYC? You don’t. I like her writing, her admirable honesty about her commonly horrific youth, and her tits. But like her…maybe if I ever met her I’d say that, but for now I’ll stick to what I know. Subject: woo Date: Feb 14 2005 01:53:28 PM Author: hoo Yes!!!!!!!!!!! She mentioned something Jewish again- good work small tits... Subject: Question Date: Feb 14 2005 11:32:02 AM Author: Klink Does this broad screw any non-jews? Subject: hilarious Date: Feb 13 2005 08:36:39 PM Author: mel damn i think ur mum got it right. but with a little coaching they can usually catch on, all though i have to say some will never learn Subject: the boar rules Date: Feb 11 2005 03:33:04 PM Author: the boar rules the boar rules Subject: D.R.E.S. Date: Feb 11 2005 02:11:49 PM Author: Dres I heard you got a fever for the flavour of the month... hurry up and get a scoop before it's gone... Subject: Creamy filling Date: Feb 11 2005 01:34:43 PM Author: chickenfried I remember having a freakout a few years ago and telling my mom that I didn't like sex. She said, "Honey, it's not you. Men just don't know what they're doing." Not what she told me. Subject: I like Dear Diary Date: Feb 11 2005 08:13:40 AM Author: me I like Lesley and Dear Diary -- it's usually the first thing I read in the magazine