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Not sure whether this is a crustie wearing the pelt of the bridge-and-tunnel douche he just curbed or a former stockbroker who just went off the deep end but color my pants brown either way. Comments/Enlarge | See all


Something about the combination of muscular skinhead thug and delicately flavored rabbit tagliatelle in a beautiful back garden in Rome is making me ask myself that age-old question again: Am I a fag? Comments/Enlarge | See all






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Dave combines an amazingly dark sexuality and in-built feeling for all things ethereal with a down-to-earthedness that is so refreshing for a big rock star of his standing. It makes even a girl like me (I'm kinda like a Suicide Girl!) go weak at the knees. That's why I have been FANatically following his every word since his first band Dizatre came out way back in the day. Like everyone, I cried when his mother died, bawled my eyes out when he married Pamela Anderson [sic (but I wish!)—Ed.], punched a hole in the wall when he got kicked out of the Chili Peps, and worried myself sick when he subsequently went on the biggest speed bender of his life. I've met him, I've tried to love him, I've talked his ear off, and I've tried to love him more. Alas, it was not meant to be. Now that he has Carmen (to quote Robert Smith, "Why can't I be you?" [you can be!—Ed.]) things seem to have settled down a bit. What better time to ruminate on my top five Navarro moments…

5 Dave once went swimming with dolphins in Hawaii. "One of the most spiritual, beautiful, and enlightening experiences of my life," he says, "was when I got a chance to swim naked in Hawaii among 100 to 150 bottle-nosed dolphins." He even has a tattoo of a ring of dolphins on his arm to remind him of that great experience.

4 As you can probably tell, he looks after himself and works out a lot. Even after he's gotten a tattoo—the latest ones are two bats on his shoulders—he just hits the gym. It's like he doesn't care. Who cares if he's barely five feet tall when you're dealing with a body like that?

3 His secret to looking good is simple: "Moderation and exercise, but I go mostly low-carb, low-fat, low-sugar, and a lot of water. I just feel better like that and it allows room for my Sunday night ‘anything goes' philosophy."

2 His best tattoo is of a pig surrounded by a snake. He says he got it because it reminds him of his character. "When pigs are young they're perceived as cute," he muses. "And when they're older they appear vicious and intimidating." As for the snake? "I've since matured, so I view it as a continual reminder to evolve as a human."


Dave recently recorded a cover version of the Velvet Underground's classic "Venus in Furs" that comes accompanied with a moody and sexy promo video. The camera follows Dave and his friend Twiggy Ramirez from Marilyn Manson as they dress up like transvestite hookers in bondage gear. Later they perform a routine in front of all these soldiers who look like Nazis.

As the song reaches the end, Dave is taken into a chamber. He disrobes down to his leather chaps and a weird doctor has him sit down on a chair. In one corner of the room there is a small herd of pigs and then the Nazi colonel comes in and the doctor tries to powder Dave's face. Dave's face becomes twisted in agony as the powder goes on his amazingly cheekboned visage—this is obviously an anti-drug message, because Dave has had well-documented struggles with heroin and cocaine injections, aka speedballs (which I mentioned earlier). In the video, it looks like Dave is saying, "No way. I will not go down that road again."

Then the doctor picks up this deformed baby with a huge head and gives it to Dave. He cradles the baby in his arms and then the doctor crowns Dave with a crown of gold paper with an elastic strap.

The message is obvious: "Only love—no matter how deformed—can save me now."

And that, my sweet friends, is the lesson DN has been trying to teach us since day one.

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