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When you’re really wasted and you’ve been puking and you have hot carrots up your nose and you’re wondering where the fuck your girlfriend is, her and her friends dressed in white is such a fortunate, shining beacon of light you worry for a sec that maybe you’re dying. What I’m trying to say is, drunks like it when you wear white.
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If this was an R&B band they’d be called, POSE 4 DJ (a Pile Of Steaming Estrogen For Dumb Jocks).
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Who told punks they could wear shoes? You can’t spend two hours on your hair, three days on your vest, buy $100 bondage pants, and then slip into some comfy “trainers.” Without at least 12 holes you’re basically wearing a tuxedo and bare feet.
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LESSONS IN LOVE

Chromeo Used To Be Best Enemies

Photo of teenage Chromeo by Martin Moreira


I first met my BUDDY Dave One at Stanislas High School, Montreal, about ten years ago. I have to say I didn't like him one bit.

At the time I was into hip hop and Dave was more into rock so before we met we were in rival groups. It was the fresh hip hop kids and the dirty rock kids, so we hated them.

We had the polka dot shirts and MC hammer pants and the high-top fades while they had long hair down to their waists. We all used to laugh at them. Eventually, I stopped listening to hip hop around the year 1992. Before then, hip hop was about dancing but when people like Cypress Hill came along, it was more about nodding your head and smoking weed. It went from a positive form of music into saying "nigga this, nigga that". So, bored of hip hop, I started listening to funk—things like Zapp and Jimmy Jamm.

Funnily enough, Dave was also getting tired of his rock thing and started listening to hip hop and funk and that's what got us together. I'd formed a band called Rubbadoid Crew and I needed a guitarist. Somebody said Dave was ideal for the job so we decided to give him a shot.

The first couple of practices were sketchy because I still didn't like the dude, but after a while we started to bond. He was a better guitarist than me so I started to play bass and we played our funk music around every single dive bar in Montreal for a couple of years. We broke up after a while but a couple of years ago Tiga asked Dave to make some tracks and we got together again to do Chromeo. It's a more electronic funk sound. No homo, but these days I can't do without my man Dave. And it's partly thanks to bonding over great artists like this:

1. Klymaxx—a group of girls who sang that popular song "Meeting In The Ladies Room"
2. Serge Ponsard—he's a real obscure techno funk master that copies all popular songs in his own way
3. I-Level—this is an English band so you guys should know this
4. Paul Hardcastle—very good producer from the 80s
5. The Deele—Babyface's and L.A. Reid's first band
6. Ray Parker—incredible songwriter who wrote the theme song for Ghostbusters and New Edition's "Mr. Telephone Man"
7. Change—two Italian guys who went to the US. They were the first ones to put on Luther Vandross.
8. Phil Collins—whatever English people say about him is false, he's loved by everyone in the USA
9. The Time— Prince's protégés, they were lead by Morris Day
10. Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis—these guys produced almost every hit from 84-87

P-THUGG
P is one half of Chromeo. The debut album She's In Control is out now on V2.

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