 HOT FOR TEACHER
What It Is
"Oh, wow, man, I said / Wait a second, man / What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year? / Fuck man!"
This is Van Halen as kids and they're just like they are as adults. Horny and ballsy and like, party guys.
"T-T-teacher stop ...READ MORE |
  BY DESIGN
As computers have put the power to publish into everyone's hands, more and more schooled graphic designers are finding themselves surrounded by artists who switched to the dark side of commercial design. I won't pretend that's not me. Since most of us are self...READ MORE |
 AMERICAN HISTORY X'D
Correcting the Lies You're Told
As Howard Zinn, Chuck D, and Zack de le Rocha have said countless times before, all that shiznit they taught you in school about Columbus and the earth being a sphere and all that other Eurocentric shit are nothing but a bunch of lies. So was most of that "...READ MORE |
 DEAR DIARY
Entry: September 1997
September 1997
I saw a cute hip hop guy who was just on my hall but we haven't spoken so we'll see. Tomorrow I officially start school. College. College?? I'm kind of nervous. I want to do so well and love my shit to death but I also want to have l...READ MORE |
 THE BEST ACADEMIC WRITING OF 2004
America's Students Shine
Every year (or maybe just this year and never again), Vice pledges a giant "hello" to the magna cum laude of America's high schools. This time around, we'll be focusing on the English Literature classes of Queens and Brooklyn, motherfuckers....READ MORE |
 DOS & DON'TS
Girls don't masturbate the way we do. Instead of playing out a scene where the upstairs neighbor comes down to borrow milk and ends up sucking your dick in the bathroom, they're more into focusing on a color or a nice song or even an undulating golden air scul...READ MORE |
 TRENCHCOAT MAFIA
The NEA Is Here to Shoot Up Your Classroom
In Sacramento recently they threatened to destroy anyone who opposed them, even an eight-year-old boy (a lawsuit is pending). In Indiana they hired a tire slasher to become one of their members and he immediately got to work destroying any car owner that stood...READ MORE |
 TEACHERS ARE STUPID
I Should Know. I Am One.
After 17 years of living in a zoo (being a public school teacher), I've carved out a niche for myself-I only teach "gifted" children. My class contains 17 girls (all Asian) and four boys. Only one of them isn't Asian. (I'm including India and Pakistan here.)READ MORE |
 TEACHERS AREN'T STUPID
I Should Know. I Am One.
Sweeping generalizations, backed by mere opinion, don't hold much validity as far as I am concerned. There is not much depth in the claim that teachers are "stupid." After reading the comment about teachers being stupid many questions arose: How do you define ...READ MORE |
 HIPPY FASCISTS
The Day Intellectuals Became Lazy
Michael Moore can be irritating at times. Bowling for Columbine was an inaccurate turd of a film, but it's hard to find fault with Fahrenheit 9/11. Unfortunately, when critics discuss Moore all they can come up with is what a fat pig he is. Or when Bush is cri...READ MORE |
 POCKETS DUMB FAT
A couple of months ago in his Skinema column, the dun Chris Nieratko-known for "pussy demolishing" and ordering six-packs of beer during snowstorms from delivery guys desperate for the money-put me on blast for my hip-hop scholarship, but also made the very wo...READ MORE |
 IRON BOY
Life in Judas Priest's Class
When I was in junior high school, I was like a prop for everyone else's humor. It was understood that I would bear the brunt of any joke and it would be perfectly socially acceptable to rip on me. So I developed this real antipathy for everything around me. It...READ MORE |
 SKINEMA
By Chris Nieratko
GIRLS ON GIRLS #2
Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party? If so, you're lucky. It seems like such a nice gesture; a real display of love and caring. To think someone would go to all that trouble to make sure you were happy… it's very special. ...READ MORE |
 TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART
SUNN O))) Share the Light
There is heavy, like Slayer, where you bang your head and wonder how the fuck he can play that riff so fast and then still make it back to the other riff without breaking his wrist. And that's cool. That's all well and good....READ MORE |
 TIDBITS
A Monthly Look At Things We Love - Tokyo Special! - The Education Issue
FATSO AMERICAN DOLL
When you turn this on, aerobics music starts pumping in the background and the guy doesn't seem to be doing anything. After about 30 seconds you notice he just lifted his legs up about a tenth of an inch. That's how they see us....READ MORE |
 GOT A CRUSH ON YOU
Jukeboxer Lies to Grown-ups
If grade-school music teachers had brains, they would be playing Jukeboxer for their classes instead of fucking "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." That shit won't teach you anything. Jukeboxer, however, could teach children a lot. It can teach them self-motivation (Ju...READ MORE |
 HEAR ME NOW!
Ms. Thing Teaches The Children Well
For those of us who still have the biggest crush on Patra, it's time to move on. Jamaica's got a new rudegal sex goddess, and her name is Ms. Thing. And she's 17 years old. And she's pregnant. You've heard her win everybody's heart by singing, "I want a dude w...READ MORE |
 INSTITUTIONALIZED
There's No College in Here
Due to the war on drugs, I was sentenced to a mandatory-minimum 25-year sentence in federal prison when I was 22 years old. I've been in here for nine years now, and I've spent every day trying to improve, rehabilitate, and educate myself. At first, I figured ...READ MORE |
 FREE SHYNE!
Holding It Down Behind Bars
If there's one thing in the world that will make you believe in karma, it's rap music. 50 gets shot, he blows up. Now that he's all blown up, he's about to fall off. Ma$e blows up, everybody hates him, and he retires. Now he makes a comeback and everybody's gi...READ MORE |
 MUCKING ABOUT
The Most Important Lessons To Learn
What the fuck do you do all day at school? I mean, A Levels and GCSEs are getting easier every year and no one fails them any more. There's nowhere to do sport because every playing field has been sold to a supermarket. And no one gets taught because all the t...READ MORE |
 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
One of the best things about being a teacher is the long paid holidays you get, especially in the summer. If you teach at a public school, the time off is crazy, plus all the kids at those places are mostly well-brought-up types who don't cause you much hassle...READ MORE |
 LESSONS IN LOVE
Chromeo Used To Be Best Enemies
I first met my BUDDY Dave One at Stanislas High School, Montreal, about ten years ago. I have to say I didn't like him one bit.
At the time I was into hip hop and Dave was more into rock so before we met we were in rival groups. It was the fresh hip h...READ MORE |
 OLD SCHOOL
Mannekin Piss Unlearn the Rulebook
Mannekin Piss is a lesson to all the poor confused hardcore bands who run out of inspiration after two EPs and turn into either an art project or sign a bad deal with a label and release three uninspiring albums because the contract says they have to.
...READ MORE |
 GAMES
Shellshock: Nam '67 & Tiger Woods 2005
SHELLSHOCK: NAM '67
In Shellshock: Nam '67, Eidos have tried to tackle the topic of the Vietnam War in video game format. This is no small task, and the list of failed films, books and music can attest to this. In this essay, I will explain ...READ MORE |
 SHOT GUN
My Little Brother Sits Up Front
My little brother Ed likes to draw guns; in fact amazingly accurate and detailed pictures of all kinds of guns. Ed makes other children's psychosis art seem lady-boy lame-o and he shits all over them because he's the real deal. His drawings are so good that ev...READ MORE |
 THE HARDIS THING FOR ME TO DO
I Started School on My 21st Birthday
Approximately twenty percent of Australians between 15 and 47 are illiterate. That means we have 2,607,400 dumb people living in our midst. Most of these illiterate losers sit around thinking about maybe one day starting to maybe begin to learn how to read and...READ MORE |
 YOU MAKE SHIRTS TOO?
Wowch Train Cats to do Wierd Shit
Max and Matt are from Columbus, Ohio. Despite this they turned out pretty clever. Well, clever enough to hightail it to New York and create WOWCH, a t-shirt label designed for fat kids who litter and people who piss themselves over 'baby falling off swing-set'...READ MORE |
 BRING THE NOISE
Wolfmother Revive Faith in Music
You know those friends at high school who would constantly rabbit on about some new 'awesome' band that 'you just had to check out'? Then when you bothered to do so, they were invariably shit and sounded nothing like you were promised? Well my friends never go...READ MORE |
 NURSERY CRIMES
Pre-Teen Braves Sing About School
Occasionally a band comes along so perfect, original and unaffected that rabid scenesters can only watch in disbelief as the words, "why didn't I think of that" spill from clenched teeth and mental notes are made to be more honest and naive. The Pre-Teen Brave...READ MORE |
 DOOMS DAY DISCO
People who live outside of Scandinavia think that Norwegian music is made exclusively by face-painted, axe-wielding Nazis or by rich homos with expensive laptops and five haircuts on one head. Wrong!
Over the last couple of years, some amazing experim...READ MORE |
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