This is the DOs & DON’Ts issue. It has a 21-page article that defines the be-all and end-all on what to do about everything, accompanied by examples of some of our better DOs & DON’Ts from years past. We also did a fashion shoot with our worst DON’Ts put next to an example of what they should have done. All this is because the DOs & DON’Ts book just came out, which is very exciting if you’re the kind of person who takes shits. Photo by Terry Richardson.

THE VICE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING A definitive guide to the rest of your life What the fuck is the matter with people these days? They're walking around, wearing sandals, not paying for shit and talking about their dreams. Don't they know the rules? It's time we write a definitive guide to everything in the world, a list of DOs & DON'Ts...READ MORE

DOS & DON'TS As Four and all those faggy fashion designers can experiment all they want. Nobody can compete with the kind of creativity billions of shrill voices screaming into your ears can provide. Go ahead, homos, put on a pot of coffee and stare at your inspiration boa...READ MORE

HOLY FUCK! Is the Bible a DON'T? When he was 29, Jesus wrote The Bible because he knew it would get him laid. Guess what--it worked. Not only did he fuck tons of really religious women, he also laid about a million whores. He didn't even get married he got so laid. Since then the bib...READ MORE

DOS & DON'TS GREATEST HITS Dude is just chilling. He's unflappable. You could be like, "Humpty, what if nobody shows up to our party?" and he'd be all, "Don't worry about it, doood."...READ MORE

HOW TO GROW UP IN LONG BEACH Nate Dogg Reminisces Ten years after its release, it's time to officially recognize Warren G's "Regulate" as hands-down one of the finest moments in music history. Of course, what made the song wasn't Warren's simple rhymes but the straight-faced tenor crooning of OG Nate Dogg. An...READ MORE

POCKETS DUMB FAT LAs per usual, Jadakiss knows what's up, and he knew that shit a couple of years before the rest of us. "Let's hit the dancefloor," he blankly told a would-be overnight-celebrity on 2001's "Knock Yourself Out." "I'll show you how to do my dance."...READ MORE

FUCK THE USA Steve Earle's Last Call Steve Earle's latest release The Revolution Starts...Now is his best work since the 1986 classic Guitar Town. It's the quintessential American record because it's got all the anger, confusion, and quiet sadness you'd expect from a country at war. All the cruci...READ MORE

SKINEMA By Chris Nieratko SEYMORE BUTTS DOES EUROPE PART 2 OK, what the fuck? This video was shot in Amsterdam. Is that even in Europe? If so, since when? I went to Amsterdam once. Once. It didn't feel like Europe to me; it felt like Woodstock Supersized. I hated every minu...READ MORE

HOW TO NOT CARE Venomous Concept Can't Be Bothered In some ultra-cool alternate universe where nobody is a cheesedick and tough-as-fuck dudes get together to do stuff like "break things" and "rule," some men from the bands Brutal Truth, Napalm Death, and The Melvins started a new band called Venomous Concept. ...READ MORE

TIDBITS A monthly look at things we love - v11n7 INSTANT JEW'S EAR Sometimes, when you don't want to talk about money or free stuff or whose son's a dentist, it's nice to be able to go to Chinatown, buy a packet of this and just talk to a Jew on your own terms....READ MORE

DOS AND DON'TS OF PHOTOGRAPHY Don't: Art school The only thing you will learn from four years of college photo classes is what not to do. You spend more time listening to anorexic rich girls talking about what a photo "means" than learning something practical like how to work a fuck...READ MORE

ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE So Sónar was fun this year. Well it always is, in Barcelona. The more times you go, the more people you meet, the more you socialise and the fewer bands and DJs and installations and films and Final Scratch demonstrations you investigate. And so it proved. Mos...READ MORE

DRINK FIGHT FUCK Towers Of London Do It All Day Towers Of London are these five obnoxious hair metal guys who sound like a fucked up version of GG Allin, Skrewdriver and Motley Crüe. They have a look that's so much of a DON'T that it's almost a DO. They cut their own hair and use toilet brushes and old lady...READ MORE

VICE FASHION - DO's AND DON'Ts Here's a bunch of our favorite DO's AND DON'Ts and a human example of how that particular look should be done....READ MORE

BIG GREEN BLISTER Brooks Takes It Like A Man It's tough being gay-especially when you live in Derby. Just talk to Brooks about it. He's this insanely talented DJ and producer guy with long tousled hair and an excellent jawline whose amazing new album, Red Tape, is an hallucinogenic glitch-funk soul odyss...READ MORE

GRIMEWATCH What are all the major labels doing wasting our time with Shystie?...READ MORE

I WANT MY DVDS Fights: A Bare Knuckle Video, V/A: Somewhere Anywhere Everywhere, Sonic Youth - Corporate Ghosts: the Videos 1990-2002, the Rapture: Is Live, And Well, In New York City, Frank Zappa: Baby Snakes, Dithers: Dithers, Friends Forever: A Documentary by Ben Wolfinso...READ MORE

100 EXTRA DOS & DON'TS Had enough? No? OK, let's get The Onion's Amie Barrodale to pump out 100 more. 1. Do joke around with immigrants and toddlers the same way you joke with your friends. Generally, this is a private kind of fun and nothing more, but when it's 4 a....READ MORE