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What if she is a reclusive art nun who dedicated her life to writing about 18th-century neoclassicism and she’s never been touched by another man before but for some reason you’re the one she chooses? What if that happened? Comments/Enlarge | See all

Hats are lame (we call them toques) but if you’re not all serious about it like a new dad and you’re wearing kind of a goof one it becomes a parody of hats which is good again. (Especially when you’re so hot you make a grown man cry.)
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		LIFE IN HELL A Bahgdad Diary

		VICE FASHION - KILLED BY DEATH Photos by Lilli Kuschel

		TEACHERS AREN'T STUPID I Should Know. I Am One.

		WELCOME TO BLACKFEET COUNTRY This entire issue of Vice was done on a B...

		AN ODE TO THE FAT FRIEND The Mother Teresa of Hooking Up

		MARMALADE SWIRLS Getting Lost in Psychedelic Folk

		I WANT MY DVDS Dirty Sanchez - Front and Rear End: The C...

		HUGGING IN THE CLOSET What If These Cuties Hooked Up?

JOHN MOORE

		ALL CATS MUST DIE It's Your Job to Kill Them

		GARAGE GOES ESKIMO How Wiley Changed Pirate Material

		NAH TO GALS Tinchy Strider Don't Care

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"So yeah, everything with fleas has to be put down tomorrow by council order. We're going to have two vans at each end of the square and there'll be plenty of trained technicians at both to ensure that the process is carried out as painlessly and carefully as possible.

Anyways, where would you like us to re-locate your dog?"Comments/Enlarge | See all


Photo of Ruff Squad (that's Tinchy in the middle) by Jamie-James Medina

NAH TO GALS

Tinchy Strider Don't Care

Even though East London branches of Domino'S pizza had a record number of delivery orders on Valentine's day, the scaredy cat management told all their workers that no delivery men could go anywhere near the tower blocks of Bow for fear of them getting mugged. Everybody went hungry and rioted.

Yes, even though the Four Weddings And A Funeral guy is setting his next movie in Bow, the area is regarded by many as the least romantic spot in the United Kingdom. We wanted to dispel that myth (Luton is worse), so when somebody said that Ruff Squad's Tinchy Strider had made a song about girls called "Tings In Boots" we arranged an interview with him for the Hugs ‘n' Kisses issue. Mistake. It turns out the "boots" he was talking weren't girls' boots but "car boots" as in "trunks" and the "tings" were hammers, knives and guns. The interview was a total disaster.

VICE: Where would you take a girl on a date?

Tinchy Strider: Ah, I'm not really into dates and things.

Would you ever give a shout out to a girl on the radio?

I do shout out girls on the mic, like if you know them or they ask, but not 'cause I like her. Then everyone knows your business.

What is the longest relationship you've been in?

Not that long.

Have you ever cheated on a girl?

Yeah.

What would you do if a girl cheated on you?

That depends how deep you get into your relationship. 'Cause I ain't really got that deep into no relationship properly, so I don't care.

Does she have to be able to cook?

Yeah, maybe when I'm older, but at this time in my life I'm not really that bothered about cooking.

Would you date a female MC?

If I dated a girl I wouldn't want her involved in MCing and that.

Do you have a girlfriend at the moment?

Nah.

Do you want one?

Nah.

JOHN MOORE
See Beats and Rhymes for more on Tinchy.

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