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Dear Pro Lifers,
Are you really so positive this guy shouldn’t have been an abortion? Really? Okay so it’s good that he’s here and has three kids and so on and so on?
Sincerely,
Us
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Jesus Mother Mary and Joseph Fucking Christ what a specimen she is! Dude, you can get all the tattoos and dress-down army gear you want but you will never be anything more than a catatonic fetus in this goddess’ presence.
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LITERARY
Ego Trip's Big Book of Racism, Despite Ev...
LITERARY
Catholic No. 1 Cats, Rough Guide to Hip H...
I WANT MY DVDS
I Know I'm Not Alone: A Musician's Search...
LITERARY
Doofus Omnibus, Sweatshop, Angry Youth Co...






NAH TO GALS
Tinchy Strider Don't Care
FREEZING IN HELL
Russian Cartoon Cults Alleviate the Suffe...
FUGGIN EH
Death From Above Party Well
TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v11n4



TIERNEY WILLIAMS
FROM CUTE TO CREEPY
Laylah Ali Chops Off Her Green Head
QUITE CONTRARY
Mary Ping Takes On Gucci and Wins
YOU'RE FIRED
Brian Jonestown Massacre Want You Gone
FUCK EVERYBODY
The Bronx Stick Hot Pokers In Punk's Anus

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OK, Grandma, get a move on with the fucking groceries already. I’m starving for a fajita over here. Comments/Enlarge | See all




LITERARY

The Complete Peanuts, Underworld 5: My Little Funny, When We Were Maakies



The Complete Peanuts
1950-1952
Charles M. Schulz (Fantagraphics Books)

The original emo kid—no, wait. The original indie rocker. Charlie Brown represents, to most people, that black-striped yellow shirt and holiday TV specials. But before that sell-out bullshit, Brown was fucking nihilistic and punk as hell. This collection of the very earliest Peanuts strips attests to that. Every serialized venture that lasts for more than a year eventually gets diluted, even the best ones like Strangers With Candy. Charlie Brown and his gay friends stuck around for about 5,000 years, so by the end they were a quagmire of "pithy" observations and quasi-Protestant life lessons.
But here, in the beginning, the characters wander around bleak landscapes, backbite each other viciously, and try to figure out where God went. They stop just short of shooting up. It's like No Exit with little round-headed tykes, and it kind of rules.

TIERNEY WILLIAMS


Underworld 5: My Little Funny
Kaz (Fantagraphics Books)

The indie comics world is unlike any other indie American artistic venture. It differs from indie rock in that faux-naivety is not prized. It differs from indie art in that most of the major players in comics can actually draw. It differs from indie comedy in that it is funny. It differs from indie film in that…there are no actors in it? OK, that one's a stretch.

Kaz is a god of comics. Holy shit, is he funny. That's why he's read by millions of people in tons of daily papers. But, since he is in comics, he isn't a household name even though he is 20,000 times smarter and funnier than, say, Ray Romano or fucking Garrison Keillor. Underworld is Kaz's main venture, a daily strip that has been making people with brains piss their pants for over ten years, and this is the fifth Underworld anthology. It's also the best so far. It has all the strips that have been in the back of Vice in the last year, plus about 75 more. If you need any more convincing, Kaz has also written for Spongebob. Buy this book today.

JERRY MCPHEERSON


When We Were Maakies
Tony Millionaire (Fantagraphics Books)

Hmm, have you noticed that all three books in this month's Literary section are from Fantagraphics? Either they fucking rule, or their press guy Eric Reynolds gives the best blowjobs I have ever had.

Tony Millionaire, as you learned on our Employees page, makes his Vice debut this month. There isn't too much to say about him other than that he is one of the best draftsmen and storytellers ever born, and that he carries on proud American traditions like Little Nemo in Slumberland and old nautical tales and dirty jokes and Henny Youngman. That is the lineage this fucking dude is in. Go to maakies.com, get all his books, and see. Even girls like his comics.

JERRY MCPHEERSON

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