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Stealing emergency life jackets from planes is the new joining the mile high club. It doesn't hurt anybody (err nobody survives when planes land on water) and you're less likely to be tazered by the cabin crew, mid-poke. Comments/Enlarge | See all


So far the only funny thing Jerry Seinfeld has done is convince an entire generation of unmarried uncles that it’s perfectly acceptable to dress like a member of a New Edition tribute band made up of guys on their first day out of rehab. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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ALSO BY PINK LADY

BIG LIARS
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PRETTY IN PINK
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Photo by the author

PRETTY IN PINK

Ajax Gets Righteous on Selling Out

VICE: So this is the work issue. Name and occupation?

Ajax: Ajax (just waiting for that pseudonym to retrograde!). I dj and perform with DAMN, am a music consultant, produce, remix, and edit material for fashion wankers and corporate winkies alike and I co promote the Bang Gang with my good friends.

What's with all the Sydney DJ's wearing so much pink?

It's the whole alluding to being gay thing... you know I'm a super challenge hetero, I'm a camp straight boy, I may interest you. The problem lays in deciphering the different pinks. I believe dog's prick pink is the deal. It has that certain crayola magic virile radiance, it just says bone me please. Pastelly pinks however resemble more a man's prick pink, which I guess takes us back to the beginning.

I hear a lot of people talk a lot of shit about DJs especially up here in the land of "I'm a stylist/journalist/photographer/designer/model/DJ who's really focusing on his portfolio and can't really talk right now." But I have never heard a negative thing said about your set. How the fuck did you pull that off?

Really?... That's nice. I thought that out of anyone I would have been a prime target for shit slinging. Maybe it's more personal and not about my performances at all. I can take criticism for any below par performance, it just bites my chicken when people give me that "sold out bullshit". Like this one guy who came to see me play one time gave me a CD after my set. He told me then "that he saw me on TV selling Electroclash to the burbs" and asked me "what the fuck I was doing"? What an elitist pratt. My mum in Coffs was proud she saw me on or in something that left the Darlo perimeter (no offence), and enjoyed (oddly) the Seelenluft clip. Don't get righteous brother!

Have you ever been accosted by an angry crowd member who didn't like the shit you were playing? I only ask coz I caught a mean right hook one time coz this fully grown man kept asking me to play him some Kylie and I just couldn't commit.

Ironically it was a Dutchman who last accosted me at Bang Gang. "I run thiis electro strokeer night in Veerverstooon voon hover or wherever and you have ruined my whole night by playing hammer". "You suck etc etc...", I said "look mate I've read Embarrassment of the Riches, I know what you are about, your country used to be a puddle."

What are you working on right now?

My taxes—I haven't paid for eight years. You just don't fucking exist if you don't have tax records. Recently I finished producing some music for some undies on runways, which was a bag of joy. I also did some really camp shit for King Gee speaking of work stuff. Other than that the DAMN stuff is the main focus. Although I am starting to feel like Chad Hugo, being lonely in the studio while the other two go jetsetting and get blown by Timberlake.

And what's the deal with this whole Heineken Thirst thing? I hear your newest job title is "ambassador".

Oh it's killer, I get beer and money. In the eighties all anyone got from surfing sponsors was like badges on a scout shirt. I was only ever average and I had a few dodgy sponsors. Well I'm still average but look at my sponsor now suckers. I mean I'm like Kofi or Albright mixed with a bit of Duff man right?

PINKLADY
You can check out Ajax at the Heineken Music Found @ Thirst: Main Event at Home in Sydney on May 1st.

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