Is there anything more annoying than being forced to listen to some obnoxious idiot blather into their mobile on public transport? Wouldn’t it be great if you had a battery-powered pocket device—like, say, a phone jammer—that at the press of a button instantly cut their mobile dead so they’d just shut the fuck up? Well now you can thanks to the genius behind phonejammer.com, a north London company that manufactures these beauties, which are capable of killing mobile frequencies within a radius of up to 30 metres or so, depending on the size and power of the jammer. It’s the ultimate social stealth weapon. Even NATO and the NYPD want in on the action.

Trouble is, it’s illegal to sell them in the UK under some telecommunications law, but it’s fine to manufacture them here for export. So if you send an order to the guy who makes them, Victor McCormack, he’ll check you out and then decide if he can sell to you. Since he started phonejammer.com in 2000, business has boomed. Prices start at $139 for the smallest model (perfect for close-contact phone zapping) and escalate accordingly. “I’m so slack,” he says, “I could be so fucking rich now. I get ten emails a day from different companies wanting things but I can’t be arsed.”

He first came across the jammer five years ago in Japan, where it’s a legitimate playground toy, and being an electronics whizz quickly adapted the technology for other cellular markets. It basically emits a radio wave—“a big curtain of noise”—that overpowers the normal mobile phone frequency. Word about the devices soon spread and in early 2002, just before Gulf War II, Victor says both the American and Iraqi governments contacted him on the same day asking for ultra-strong samples. “I didn’t reply, I got scared. I deleted their messages,” he says, still freaked out by the episode. “They wanted ones that could do up to a kilometre area on set frequencies. I don’t sell to the military, someone else can do that. I only wanted to do a cool invention and it spiralled out of control. I’m just into the technology side of it.”

These days the police often use phone jammers when carrying out drug raids to disable the criminals’ phones. If it wasn’t illegal to use them, you can bet every cinema, theatre and strip joint in the land would use one to eradicate intrusive ringtones like that brain-mangling “Crazy Frog” earfuck. “I’ve got more inventions to come,” Victor adds. “Organic electronics is the next thing, so let’s see what happens with that one, okay?”

BRENDA WALTERS
www.phonejammer.com

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Though I don't really see the point of a chain post like that. Is it fun for the creator somehow? Subject: You fuckin' asshole Date: Jan 29 2005 10:57:42 AM Author: I am such a CHILD. A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Subject: Jamming Date: Jan 29 2005 10:45:39 AM Author: Jammy McJamsworth Yeah? In like seven days maybe? Anyway, a good point was brought up before Captain Ringu's chain message about the active irritant in mobile phone use being that bystanders only catch one side of the conversation. More interesting than the phone jammer would be a device that adjusts to the frequency of the offending conversation and amplifies the other end of it from a little speaker built into the side. Actually, wait a second, that'd be really stupid. Subject: i´m scared Date: Jan 27 2005 11:43:20 AM Author: damn A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Subject: why? Date: Jan 17 2005 07:43:21 AM Author: what? A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. 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