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If you’re 11 and your big brother is telling you to get the fuck out of his (awesome) room, know that he has already peaked and will soon be drinking Shirley Temples at the club with his sponsor and asking this photographer if she can email him this photo. [Click for video] Comments/Enlarge | See all



We’re really into the French stripey shirt, new wave ponytail, and stadium shoes but when your ass is so perfect it’s basically a flipped over “b” you could be wearing a used colostomy bag and we’d still have tears in our eyes.
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SEX
From the 3rd Annual Photo Issue
VICE MAIL
Nuts for Guns, A Rare Breed, Chemical War...
VICE FASHION - DO's AND DON'Ts
Here's a bunch of our favorite DO's AND D...
VICE FASHION - WE LAUNCH ROCKETS...
PHOTOGRAPHER: VALERIE PHILLIPS
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DEATH TO ROACHES
The Age of Machines
DOS & DON'TS
And we thought last month's "Paki Wearing...
SKINEMA
I'm all about reading tabloids.
LONG GONE JOHN
And His Long Gone Home



Fucking Department of Revunue cocksuckers think they can come into MY house and arrest me because that fucking whore was on the rag that day and decided to bitch about child support AGAIN. She fucking knows I’m broke and I got that DUI thing hanging over my head but n-o-o-o-o she’s got to open the shitgates on me and let it all come flooding... etc. etc.
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Photo by Si Walker

WE'RE JAMMING

Hope You Like Jamming Too



Is there anything more annoying than being forced to listen to some obnoxious idiot blather into their mobile on public transport? Wouldn’t it be great if you had a battery-powered pocket device—like, say, a phone jammer—that at the press of a button instantly cut their mobile dead so they’d just shut the fuck up? Well now you can thanks to the genius behind phonejammer.com, a north London company that manufactures these beauties, which are capable of killing mobile frequencies within a radius of up to 30 metres or so, depending on the size and power of the jammer. It’s the ultimate social stealth weapon. Even NATO and the NYPD want in on the action.

Trouble is, it’s illegal to sell them in the UK under some telecommunications law, but it’s fine to manufacture them here for export. So if you send an order to the guy who makes them, Victor McCormack, he’ll check you out and then decide if he can sell to you. Since he started phonejammer.com in 2000, business has boomed. Prices start at $139 for the smallest model (perfect for close-contact phone zapping) and escalate accordingly. “I’m so slack,” he says, “I could be so fucking rich now. I get ten emails a day from different companies wanting things but I can’t be arsed.”

He first came across the jammer five years ago in Japan, where it’s a legitimate playground toy, and being an electronics whizz quickly adapted the technology for other cellular markets. It basically emits a radio wave—“a big curtain of noise”—that overpowers the normal mobile phone frequency. Word about the devices soon spread and in early 2002, just before Gulf War II, Victor says both the American and Iraqi governments contacted him on the same day asking for ultra-strong samples. “I didn’t reply, I got scared. I deleted their messages,” he says, still freaked out by the episode. “They wanted ones that could do up to a kilometre area on set frequencies. I don’t sell to the military, someone else can do that. I only wanted to do a cool invention and it spiralled out of control. I’m just into the technology side of it.”

These days the police often use phone jammers when carrying out drug raids to disable the criminals’ phones. If it wasn’t illegal to use them, you can bet every cinema, theatre and strip joint in the land would use one to eradicate intrusive ringtones like that brain-mangling “Crazy Frog” earfuck. “I’ve got more inventions to come,” Victor adds. “Organic electronics is the next thing, so let’s see what happens with that one, okay?”

BRENDA WALTERS
www.phonejammer.com

SEE ALL ARTICLES BY THIS CONTRIBUTOR

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Subject: Slight apology to phonejammer
Date: Jun 18 2007 08:24:13 PM
Author: jason whistle

Hi Guys, Phone jammer finally sent me my device. However it took close to a year to get it. They sent me the updated version (a nice gesture on there part) but to be honest the original one worked better. The one I got only works if your like 2 feet away from someone. So they finally made good on the deal but I still ended up on the short end of the stick



Subject: PHONE JAMMER IS A SCAM
Date: Aug 27 2006 07:32:37 PM
Author: JASON WHISTLE

I HAVE BEEN RIPPED OFF BY PHONEJAMMER!!
SENT ME DEFECTIVE PRODUCT, I RETURNED IT PROBOBLY A YEAR AGO. THEY HAVE NOT RESPONDED TO E-MAILS OR PHONE CALLS. SAVE YOUR MONEY.
DONT DO BUSINESS WITH THESE THEIVES



Subject: phone jammer circuit
Date: Mar 21 2006 11:31:21 AM
Author: mohamed

hi
iam astudent and iam working on a phone jammer project if any one can help me and have its circuit please send it to me
herrabdelmoniem@yahoo.com
i will be so gratefull
thanks alot



Subject: ...
Date: Dec 12 2005 12:28:44 PM
Author: man kan aldrig veta

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.



Subject: phonejammer(from turkey)
Date: Oct 18 2005 03:14:10 PM
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thanks



Subject: She will be on the ceiling?!
Date: Jan 29 2005 11:01:13 AM
Author: Same guy

I think what got me was this bit:
"She will be on your ceiling."
Like Nurse X in Exorcist 3, or, to a lesser degree, the baby in Trainspotting I imagine. Creepy little touch there.
Though I don't really see the point of a chain post like that. Is it fun for the creator somehow?



Subject: You fuckin' asshole
Date: Jan 29 2005 10:57:42 AM
Author: I am such a CHILD.

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.



Subject: Jamming
Date: Jan 29 2005 10:45:39 AM
Author: Jammy McJamsworth

Yeah? In like seven days maybe?
Anyway, a good point was brought up before Captain Ringu's chain message about the active irritant in mobile phone use being that bystanders only catch one side of the conversation.
More interesting than the phone jammer would be a device that adjusts to the frequency of the offending conversation and amplifies the other end of it from a little speaker built into the side.
Actually, wait a second, that'd be really stupid.



Subject: i´m scared
Date: Jan 27 2005 11:43:20 AM
Author: damn

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.



Subject: why?
Date: Jan 17 2005 07:43:21 AM
Author: what?

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.



Subject: Call me superstitious, but I am terrifie
Date: Jan 17 2005 04:43:15 AM
Author: Chris Jones

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.



Subject: im sorry
Date: Jan 12 2005 02:44:19 PM
Author: im a ceek

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.



Subject: twats
Date: Jan 11 2005 01:32:28 PM
Author: derek

I could really use one of those when I'm trying to study in my school library. Most disrespectful mobile users are loud as fuck pakis or speaking in some other obnoxious foreign language.




Subject: Why do you care?
Date: Jan 10 2005 01:44:05 PM
Author: jellodog

The only reason anyone cares about mobiles in public is because they can't bare to hear only half a conversation. My advice; just have one of your own or buy a fucking walkman! Leave the rest of us to communicate as god intended - load and inconsiderately.



Subject: impossible
Date: Jan 10 2005 09:47:51 AM
Author: doctor

Yer right! is it possible to switch off somebody elses mobile? thought these things were bullit proof, got to see it to believe it.



Subject: uber
Date: Jan 04 2005 11:40:18 AM
Author: Your mum

$150 for a device that spits out enough EM radiation to destroy the most highly reliable digital transmissions. Big deal my Grandads Television still does the same, the only difference is that it isnt portable so you cant hard boil your testicles by slipping it in your pocket.



Subject: lies, lies, lies.
Date: Dec 31 2004 09:41:49 AM
Author: cocknose

"american and iraqi governments contacted him"

he also flew around new york city for weeks on end without food or water on an old bangles e.p.



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