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Let’s hear it for those super serious almost serpentine chicks that seem totally bored by your jokes but smile coyly every time a witty one seeps out. They’re so “tough love” they might as well be a spanking. Comments/Enlarge | See all



Sometimes, when you’re playing Super Mario 3 you think to yourself, “Why the fuck am I wasting so much of my life on this shit?” Then you see him finally getting some pussy and it all seems worth it.
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STAND AND DELIVER
People Like You Like Man Like Me
PIG INK - PART 2
Tattooing Swine in the Name of Art
LIFE AS A WWII SPY
The Next Level of Nerd
BUKKAKE ON MY FACE
Welcome to the Ancient Tradition of the ...






PILE OF SHIT
Interior Decorating the Garbage
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Southern Schoolkids Are Ready to Rumble
DEAR DIARY
1998

Dear Diary,

I'm in...
FREE PIMP C!
The Benefits of a Well-Designed Life



If God is against getting a tattoo of a shitty website that’s under construction and is based on an elusive metaphor that makes no sense then yes, you are an infidel.
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DOOMS DAY DISCO





The Shitkatapult Strike 50 DVD is an example of design with a purpose where form reflects the content. The DVD is a celebration of this Scheiss fine label’s 50th release and contains 24 warped, mind-boggling tracks and videos from the likes of Das Bierbeben, T. Raumschmiere and Apparat. What more can you possibly ask for?

Well, ok, you could ask for the new Lopazz single “Blood”. It was originally recorded for the Lopazz EP of 2003 but is out now on Output with a few remixes. “Blood” is brilliant electronic death funk with pitched down Darth Vader vocals (I know, it’s not THAT original, but it works amazingly good here) and an evil gay disco tenor hook. The remixes rock the cock too, but I’m not happy about the Tiefschwarz remix. Tres lame. But that’s fully compensated by Skua Lovelle’s and Freddie Mas’s mixes. Lovelle shows the skewed, dizzy character of the song and Mas accentuates its low frequencies funk riffing. “Blood” is Lopazz’s finest track to date and it shouldn’t have been too hard for Tiefschwarz to make something nice out of it. But nooo.

A man who knows his shit is Vitalic. Lately (he’s got an album arriving in the beginning of 2005) he makes me wonder if he’s hijacked a little drummer boy and balled and chained the poor thing to studio floor. The 12" “Fanfares” (Citizen) is my proof: Hitler Jugend drum rolls and a distorted, eerie Glockenspiel reminiscent of D.A.F.’s Grimm Brothers gay tale “Der Räuber und Der Prinz”. This is the most innovating take on body music this year. It’s also how things could have evolved if this music style had taken a different evolutionary route in the early 80s. Now we have something called EBM.

Another kind of time travel can be found on UK guy Joshua Harvey’s project The Things, and his new single “I Don’t Care” (Kitsuné). You think it sounds dangerously close to yet another pointless rehearsal in Liquid Liquid no wave funk? Turn to the flip side “Stupid” and get ready to be blown to pieces. It’s not even that far from The Leather Nun’s sleazy 1983 industrial disco anthem “Fist Fuckers Associated”. Again not THAT original, but The Things still get the stiff, empty basement sound of “FFA” right. I think it’s by mistake though. My guess is they were aiming for Cabaret Voltaire’s death funk sound.

BTW, Cabaret Voltaire is one of many influences on the new Stromba 12" “Giddy Up” (Fat Cat). It’s aimed at the dance floor and it’s dynamic dub disco with a proto techno twist. James Dyer (who’s also label manager for DC Recordings, the home of Emperor Machine) meddles with it, and ex Depth Charge main man Tom Tyler is on there too. It’s all Adrian Sherwood styled Lagerhaus disco, and it gives a hint of what’s to come on Stromba’s debut LP Tales From The Sitting Room, which is set for release in February 2005.

Speaking of next year’s releases, the “much awaited” self-titled debut album of James Murphy’s LCD Soundsystem will apparently arrive in January through EMI Records. And this seems like the perfect time to wonder what all the fuzz has been about. There certainly are some good songs in here, like “Tribulations”, “Too Much Love” and the (too) self-consciously titled “Daft Punk Is Playing At My House”. But the rest of the album wears thin. Or maybe it’s just that I get a rash from the record collector tendencies. It makes the name-dropping on “Losing My Edge” seem like an anticipatory defense move meant to neutralize all criticism against just that. I mean common, it’s more than ok to love the Modern Lovers, but to not blow your nose before laying down the vocals (like on “Movement”) just to have the exact same polyp-ridden delivery as Jonathan Richman is a bit much. Still LCD Soundsystem has its moments, although it is not as charming as the demented rock disco on last year’s “Yeah”.

ROLF

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COMMENTS


Subject: yeah
Date: Jan 28 2005 06:03:56 AM
Author: mace

damn stright!



Subject: load of wank
Date: Dec 30 2004 02:55:47 PM
Author: Vice reader

"tres lame","but noooo" what is that? dialogue snippets from Popular? and what would you call "not that original"(twice) if not an anticipatory defense move meant to neutralize all criticism against just that? and why don't you review something which IS that original?

I know that Vice is doing an Mtv and everything and the work has to be outsorced but who okayed Rolf as Doomsday Disco reviewer?



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