For centuries man has designed and built wondrous, awe inspiring monuments which cast shadows over mediocrity and survive as testament to their hard work. These creations, which seem to defy the boundaries of impossibility and laugh in the face of modern architecture, stand as paragons of that country’s unique character and greatness. Egypt has the Pyramids, Paris has the Eiffel Tower, Italy the Sistine Chapel, India’s got the Taj Mahal and the USA has the Statue of Liberty. Well, fuck you world, because Australia will see your amazing national monuments and raise you a Big Banana and a Gigantic Pineapple. Game over.

Big fruit is big business in Australia. The entrepreneurial cats who started the ‘Big’ movement were the owners of a banana plantation in Northern New South Wales who thought it might be clever to build a giant banana to attract tourists. It worked. As soon as the Banana was built in 1964, tourism to the area increased sixty fold. Since then, in order that the good times continue to roll, the Banana people have built an ice skating rink and indoor snow slope on the site…Obviously!

Over the past 40 years, the craze has spread like a wacky virus and there are actually more than 150 oversized icons around Australia including the Big Prawn, the Big Merino Sheep and the Big Potato. What is most strange about this phenomenon is the apparent hysteria that surrounds these eyesores. We hunted down the 90 year old current owner of the Big Banana to see if there was any possibility they were putting drugs in the water up there.

VICE: Can you explain a bit about how the Big Banana was made?

Kevin: A local engineer was commissioned to prepare a design to build a big banana. He visited the leading local banana grower who used to win all the prizes in the fruit shows and made him select what he thought was the perfect banana. He dissected that into one-eighth pieces and then, with a set of callipers, measured up each component, as you would an aeroplane or a boat. It has a timber frame and a cement shell with a walk through passageway and an illuminated display of the banana industry inside it.

Why do you think the Big Banana is so popular?

I don’t think anybody can explain that. It just captured the imagination of the public. People just simply couldn’t travel up the north coast without stopping for a banana souvenir.
Is there much competition between the designers of the big things?
If two of them knew each other I’d be very surprised.

Do you think the Big Banana will ever lose its relevance?

Never. It’s about to be heritage listed.

In your mind, is the Big Pineapple a greater design achievement than the Banana?

I don’t think so. It was a better attraction because it was more comprehensive and was built with more initial capital. Plus they had a decent little train ride there and a wide base of horticultural exhibits. But the Big Banana still stands as absolutely one of the leading big things of Australia.

BRIONY WRIGHT

COMMENTS

Subject: HA!HA! HA! Date: Jan 31 2005 04:53:17 PM Author: Mule HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Phew, I am laughing big. Australia is the home of all things cheesy and great. The best part about building big things is that they can be as pointless and usless as you want and people will still travel hundreds of km to see them so they can stand around and say 'Yeah, that's pretty big!" I grew up in Tamworth, Counrty Music capital, home of the 'big' Golden Guitar. And yes, I don't mind the festival, no, I'm not a cowboy, no, it's not really golden, more of a cacky green. Like baby's poo. But let me tell you, the amount of tourists, national and international, that come every year in the last two weeks of January to get their photo's taken infront of this monument, the joke is on them. It's big, but not that big. The owner of the Big Banana in coffs, I wonder if he is a Bill Bryson fan? Subject: believe this guy? Date: Jan 27 2005 09:51:48 AM Author: truebluespew ahahaha the dude interviewed for this article actually sounded deathly serious when he mentioned the train ride and horticultural exhibit the BP features. maybe its just me but isn't this fucking sad? stupid australians, we suck. ha my name sounds like something someone would call themselves in a stupid newspaper letters section, 'cept vice aint no newspaper no fucking way. Subject: tim = matt Date: Jan 17 2005 09:52:20 PM Author: f sorry i meant Matt, not tim. i don't know where i got tim from. Subject: Tim Tam the butt pirate man Date: Jan 17 2005 09:51:22 PM Author: qwef Wow tim came across like a snivelly little shit stabbing fuck face. And by the way, no one cares that you've lived in Japan you fucking loser. I hope you fuck off back to your beloved Coffs Mutha Fuckin' Harbour and die a lonely death where at least you'll have your myriad banana products to keep you company...and your perfect climate. get fucked. Subject: On a different note. Date: Jan 16 2005 05:49:13 AM Author: Ray tay tay Given this is the design 101 issue I'll give you some more info on that "Loo with a View" I mentioned earlier. Here's some website: Praise: http://www.medialaunch.com.au/72/ A nice view of the titanic waste of money (needs Java script): http://www.mooloolabarealestate.com.au/about_mooloolaba/ virtual_tour/loo-mooloolaba-accommodation.htm /> (When you copy/paste this site, do both lines seperatly and make sure you don't include two symbols on the end). 2.5 million dollars on a public toilet. And it won awards. Thankfully I'm moving out of this city soon. Also, while Googling around I came across this site, also from the Sunshine Coast: http://www.loowithaview.com.au/ It's great if you ever want to spend hundreds of dollars on a toilet lid that your friends will probably break anyway when they slice their head open after passing out from puking. Subject: Matt fails at failing Date: Jan 16 2005 05:09:27 AM Author: Ray tay tay Again you amaze me with your stupidity! But I suppose I have to give you credit for your persistence. 1. "Reading into" something and "reading" something are two different things. Take note of this next time you attempt to insult me. 2. I did go to a school full of dickheads. It was quite amusing because when I would beat them in an argument they would go off topic by having a go at my life and education, even when they had no knowledge or evidence to back up their petty insults. 3. "Honours" is something you get in university. Not school. Idiot. 4. How can you enjoy something that's just plain boring? (I probably have to explain this too: Please don't answer this question. IT'S RHETORICAL). Subject: sdfvsd Date: Jan 15 2005 08:15:20 PM Author: adsc The australian vice articles always seem so shitty. Oh well, at least they try. Subject: failure Date: Jan 14 2005 09:45:15 PM Author: Matt Ray tay tay, I don't think anyone has ever failed for reading too much but as we are talking about education now it is only fair to assume that you attended a school where only dickheads could attend. Which I am sure you graduated with honours. Should I start using smaller words for you now? Here's a nice easy sentence for you to begin with... "Get a life!" Start enjoying things rather than knocking things. Subject: fyujk,fyuikl Date: Jan 14 2005 03:33:59 AM Author: ghjbmfhjk the big prawn is in Balina u idiot. i pissed on the big banana. that was funny. Subject: You fail at the internet Date: Jan 12 2005 03:31:58 AM Author: Ray tay tay First of all, Matt, you get a big, fat "FAIL" for reading too much into this, but since we're taking things so seriously here's my reply: Oops! It seemes someone forgot to give you the subjectivity memo! Idiot. And just because they outlawed whale hunting doesn't stop me from doing it. Oh yeah, and a pretty coastal town with a nice climate, where else can I find something like that in Australia, oh yeah, EVERYWHERE! But if there is a woman:man ratio of 2:1 I'm willing to give it a second chance. Perhaps a bit of pussy is the only bit of good to come out of that town. Subject: Big!!! Date: Jan 06 2005 10:14:11 AM Author: . Australia has more than 150 oversized icons!?!?! Crazy! Plus there's a really big rock right in the middle! Subject: . Date: Jan 06 2005 10:13:15 AM Author: Matt Some people (Ray tay tay) need to get out more and start appreciating big things. I was born in Coffs Harbour and lived there for 18 years before living in Queensland, Victoria and Japan. I haven't found a place more beautiful than Coffs Harbour nor any place that sells such a variety of banana products!!! Coffs Harbour boasts the best climate in the world (Lat 30°.19".s). Oh, and "whale hunting" stopped in Australia in 1978. Ray tay tay, you should look at getting an education. Subject: . Date: Jan 04 2005 08:36:32 PM Author: . i went out in coffs last nite homes, and uh uh, it aint a shithole - smallish coastal city yes, but no shithole i know has a 2:1 female:male ratio, u cant go wrong with that setup Subject: Whatev. Date: Jan 02 2005 08:43:26 AM Author: Ray tay tay Coffs Harbour is a shit hole. The only reason why the banana is so popular is because it's the only thing to do when the whale hunting season dies off. And it's not that big FYI. The big Pinapple is a shit hole too. It's situated on the Sunshine Coast, my home town, which is an even bigger shit hole then Coffs Harbour. Appart from that, our main attraction is a beach toilet that cost 2 million dollars and turned out to be a public health and safety risk. The big pinapple is dying a slow death. The train ride is boring and the horticultural exhibit is about as fun as it sounds. The only thing its good for hosting high school graduatons and formals, even then it's crap because their buffets are shithouse and there's not even enough room to watch hormone filled teenagers rub against each other on the dance floor. Why? There is no fucking dance floor. I saw a student take a piss on the pinapple once. That was pretty funny. The actual pinapple itself (apart from smelling like an old unwashed empty milk bottle) is just filled with local history and faded pictures. I wish it would burn down. That would look so cool. Subject: big worm Date: Dec 29 2004 08:01:26 PM Author: jerk If anyone is on their way to Phillip Island in Victoria, be sure to stop at the Big Worm. Madness! You get to walk through the insides of a worm and look at old photos of local legends holding massive earthworms! Nuts! AND they have a petting zoo. Zany, too zany! Subject: hmmm Date: Dec 28 2004 11:40:28 PM Author: djangos Well there isn't much to say is there? Big stuff... yeah. The big prawn in Victoria almost gave me nightmares, other than that... hmmmm.