The Game

If I lose my voice, nigga, I'ma flow online"—Jadakiss

Here I go again, looking to J-A-Double for a little philosophical guidance, but these are fraught times, and these young'uns in the game stand to benefit from some of this highly decorated veteran's guidance. Ask the Anticon massive—internet beef is serious business. But where Jada gets it right is that he'll take to the net only as a last resort. He's not up at three in the morning, typing threats into his G5 (or his T-Mobile Sidekick for that matter). He ain't mad at El-P—it's demographics, son.

But there's an incipient trend on the horizon—gangsters on the internet. And these are no regular Icy Hot Stuntaz (drivenbyboredom.com/bling.htm)—these are the real deal. Look at G-Unit comer the Game and Luniz bulldog Yukmouth. They've been trading barbs on wax—particularly cutting were Yuk's digs about Game's high-school appearance on the dating show "Change of Heart," at which point he was sporting a tongue ring—rooted in some archaic beef Yuk has with G-Unit macher 50 Cent. Yuk's also allied himself with the chair-chucking Southside Queensites Bang 'Em Smurf and Domination. Even more bizarre, though, are the message-board taunts.

Yuk comes first, recalling a nightclub encounter between the two: "I said I like yo shit & u used 2 fuck with my nigga JT tha Bigga Figga? He said yeah & then I said u know me & C-Bo got problems with 50 Cent. He said, ‘That's y'all business, I'm not in that, I'm just signed 2 the nigga 2 make some money.' I said, ‘I respect that, get cha paper on!' Then he said, "What's up with Bang Em Smurf & Domination dissin him?' I said, ‘I haven't heard it yet & keep it that way.' I shook his hand again & told him, ‘Do ya thang cuzz we need 2 bring the west back!' that's how it happened...But now I'm hearin shit from his brother saying they gave me a pass & they checked me!…how did he check me when the whole time we talkin he holdin his 2 chains like I'm gonna snatch his shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Game, keeping it digital, came back on his message board with the following enlightened position: "Fuck you bitch!!! I guess you betta make that chirp nigga cause I get back in L.A. today and my 1st stop is my house, location: Wilmington & Brazil nigga Compton California!!! Keep talkin bitch & you won't be able to make it out you bed nigga."

Man, this Google Ads rackets is serious. Everybody send postcards to The Game. Or better yet, send him some MacMall gift cards.

Down Texas way, the only fast thing the second-generation sons of Screw are doing is connecting to the World Wide Web. One whole disc of PDF favorite Chamillionaire's recent 3-CD Mixtape Messiah is aimed at onetime Swishahouse homie Mike Jones—Chamillionaire dubs him Dyke Jones. But the trill heat was online. "I was impressed that he took all that time 2 hate on me so his cd would sell," Jones wrote. "If he really had beef with me like he is telling yall, he wouldn't have got on radio or mixtapes and announce beef, a real nigga would have came 2 me and we would have handled." And this from a man who makes himself available: Get on his website (whoismikejones.com), grab his phone number, and call him to see for yourself.

Chamillionaire, of course, set to typing an essay-length comeback, ruminating on his bank account, his paid-off cars and trucks, and making $11 per CD: "Real niggaz don't have to act real. Real niggaz do real thangs. They check pussy niggaz when they get outta line. You woulda loved for me to try to talk shit out wit you since I have a problem. But naw I decided to do something better that you wouldn't like...Ruined your credibility."

Some folk do that to themselves, though. And you know who's still trippin', fool? The originators of this 'net shit, that's who. When Buck 65 recently went off on hip-hop in Kerrang (he was prodded and coerced, he swears), none other than Sage Francis, his onetime homie and touring partner, took to the 'net. On the Non Prophets message board, he declaimed simply, "Buck has had his head up his arse for many years now. I'm surprised he's going public with it." And then, the murder ink: "He needs friends who aren't revolving-door girlfriends, that's all." On another message board, Buck apologized for his statements, but the 'net doesn't forget. Google "Buck 65" "Kerrang" "hip-hop" for time eternal, and the smear will remain. It's the new thug life: The Hate U Give Lives (on the) Internet For Ever.

JON CARAMANICA
Send materials to 217 East 86th Street #226; New York, NY 10028

COMMENTS

Subject: Language skills... Date: Nov 30 2006 04:38:55 AM Author: Bill Jesus H. Christ. Will you please learn some grammar skills and how to spell? Stop being ignorant! Even Koko the Sign Language Gorilla has better grammar than you! Where does that put you? Subject: ethugs Date: Mar 06 2006 07:41:48 AM Author: bmoney... when you online you mean muggin. lol around real thugs get smashed in the teeth Subject: mike jones Date: Jun 15 2005 10:44:03 AM Author: doo-doo what is mike jones's website, to get the scoop on mike jone and gucci mane. Subject: health Date: Jun 03 2005 11:12:38 AM Author: cameron barnes game islike 50cent Subject: math Date: Jun 03 2005 11:07:20 AM Author: jamesbrown 50cent isa punk. Subject: medium rare Date: Dec 24 2004 07:00:01 PM Author: WhALE meh, Yuk kills Game on those diss tracks, so what, they both suck, but Game had a damn good single off his first (only) release. As for Buck, he's past hip hop now, and I relate, but he said dumb shit. Fuckin' Sage Franklin has been on some dumb pretentios shit about rap too, comin' off like he's better than it. Oh well, who cares, hip hop's changing right now, huge. Underground and mainstream are gonna be very hard to tell apart very soon. And all those people who don't get this and hate on hip hop, fuck off. don't concern yourself, cuz believe me, we don't with you. Subject: esaasfdf dfeasdf asdfas Date: Dec 20 2004 03:08:41 PM Author: PlacentaOverEasy Best hip hop beef ever: Third Base vs. MC Hammer Subject: online haterade Date: Dec 13 2004 06:12:33 PM Author: term ill a legit up and coming MC who's certainly going to flip the script on the entire rap game, get crunkified and all that, dissed me on my girly online journal for DJing a party with a CD and getting him to rap the words to "No Diggity." if that shit's not hilarious to you then dont read this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/erick/2004/10/20/ Subject: rap no more Date: Dec 09 2004 11:30:18 AM Author: dom I use to listen to hip hop everyday when I was 12. Back in my little town in north Quebec, I tought rap was the shit. Listening to The Pharcyde, Souls of Mischief, Snoop and all. Rap and skateboard were my life. And while I was growing up, rap was dying. Now I'm 24, I moved to Montreal and I realized that rap is a fuckin festival. Aren't we supposed to talk about beats, rhymes and life, instead of bitches, money and guns. Subject: ? Date: Dec 08 2004 09:39:55 PM Author: zippy When I was little, just having discovered masturbation, we white kids in Lubbock, Texas thought we were the shit, listening to The Chronic. Saying, "I want to be poor and have to carry a gun and fuck hottie poor bitches on my way to an early grave." Powerful shit. Are the kids in Lubbock and Yuma and Green Bay and Salt Lake City walking around trying to steal fucking shit gold chains from each other and taunting each other on message boards. I'd rather they listen to fucking Wilco and jerk each other off. Subject: Angry nigs Date: Dec 05 2004 02:20:29 AM Author: I hate everyone Why the fuck are people in the rap scene so fucking angry? I don't get it. That's why I hated 8 Mile. Subject: worstwriterever Date: Dec 04 2004 07:23:44 PM Author: c dub you are straight wack for bringing that sage/buck bullshit up. trying to start shit, obviously. get a life. Subject: Woop Dee WOO! Date: Dec 03 2004 12:36:10 PM Author: douche bizzle I needed a fucking cryptologist to decipher that article. What the fuck did I just read. Subject: above the law Date: Nov 29 2004 07:17:15 PM Author: swing in diks I HATE the new vice hip hop column. please bring back the guy who did drugs. he wrote about fatlip, DOC, x clan, and other classic groups. this dick writes for spin for crisakes, which is about as hip hop as the source, only boring, and no titz. its dry writing with no interesting information and more importantly, no free porn links. godammit. Subject: shirt Date: Nov 28 2004 04:37:03 AM Author: al i love how all these hip-hop fucks look like they've been given a t-shirt to wear just before the photo has been taken, and they're like 'oh shit, this is a nice shirt, can i keep this', and the photographer doesn't care (its not his shirt anyway) so he's like 'yeah, its yours', and the hip hop guy is like 'yeah, no shit its mine bitch'. Subject: hate Date: Nov 27 2004 01:12:05 AM Author: yoyoyo i hate people who say "i hate haters". why wouldn't i fucking hate you? you are fucking rich and have whatever you want for making music videos and i'm working my ass off to barely make enough to live on. fuck you all you rich fucks. why is that professional athletes and britney spears make gillions of dollars and teachers in inner city schools, who are actually trying to make a difference can barely feed their own families. doesn't anyone see something fucking wrong with that? so in conclusion, i'm a hater. because all you fucks do is flaunt your money and get rims on your stupid ass escalades. and we wonder why people hate americans? we're all a bunch of greedy fucks. Subject: hip hop Date: Nov 25 2004 04:42:48 PM Author: the sickos all hip hop is garbage made by untalented jackasses. Subject: Show Yuk Sum Love Date: Nov 24 2004 06:03:16 PM Author: Captain Save em All That Game homo is all talk, Young Buck on the other hand...I wouldn't be playin' knifey-spooney with that cat followin the whole Vibe awards shank-down...Anyhow, if you want the real scoop...peep the Remix Video to Fabolous' "Breath" track that Yukmouth recently put out as a diss track to Game...shit's priceless, especially when they burn a pair of pink G-unit sneakers.