NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

Spanish crusties are everywhere in London at the moment and they’re looking FABULOUS. At the Insect Warfare show at the Old Blue Last we had dogs on strings sitting on bar stools, ordering pints. The rest of the crowd looked like this, from late 20s 7s with Anti Cimex shirts to amazing dykes with Punisher throat tattoos. Comments/Enlarge | See all


I’ve never wanted to be reincarnated as a gross piece of sticky brown stuff on a chair until now. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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I HATE STRAIGHTS

Bash Back, Fags


Film still from LaBruce’s movie Skin Flick. Courtesy peres projects, Los Angeles.


Forget about fag bashing. It's time for a little equal opportunity straight bashing. When I was a sissy homo punk in the 80s, big macho het boys with foot-tall Mohawks and Crass jackets, conveniently setting their radical, anarcho-leftist leanings aside for a moment, would punch me in the nose for showing queer super-8 movies in punk venues. Their avowed neo-Nazi skinhead enemies at the same show, now united in homo hatred, would run over and spit on me in solidarity. My punk dyke friends would form a human shield, but the damage was already done. From that point on, I would dedicate much of my work to pushing overt homosexuality into the faces of heterosexuals, both virulent homophobes and liberal bleeding hearts alike.

It's the femmie homosexual people can't stand the most, especially if he's sexually aggressive and unapologetic about it, so that's the image we set out to promote. We used to refer to heterosexuals as breeders back then. Child-hating W. C. Fields was our idol, and we loved Roman Polanski in The Tenant—you know, the part where, dressed in drag, he walks over to a little boy in a park and slaps him across the face for no reason. Why do people who breed think they're so special, we puzzled, bringing a kid into this overpopulated, war-ravaged world, desperately trying to grasp onto some pathetic shard of immortality? In the sage words of Kim and Kelley Deal (of the Breeders, no less), "If you're so special, why aren't you dead?"

At my university there was a group called the League Against Homosexuals. Their motto, spread on leaflets across campus, was "Queers don't produce, they seduce." I adopted their credo as my own in the most public way possible. But today, twentysomething homosexuals, especially the ones who read Vice, think it's cool to be discreet about their faggotry, to act as if it doesn't have any effect on the rest of their lives or anyone else's. We used to call that "the closet."

So, queer bashing is still necessary. (Somebody should take the "Fag Five" of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy out into a back alley and hospitalize them for promoting the image of gays as materialistic breeder-lovers.) But how about a little straight bashing, too? I think everyone needs a good beating. Uncle Tom fags need it. Straight-acting fags and straights alike need it. Bash them all. Anyone who is complicit in the user-friendly fag trend should have their knees broken. The only people I don't feel like bashing lately are mincing queens and actual fag bashers.

The next time you see a hetero couple holding hands, run over and yell "Herpes-carrying breeder" at them and punch them in the nose. You'll feel better for it. Join the homosexual intifada.

BRUCE LaBRUCE
Go to brucelabruce.com and buy a T-shirt or something, OK?

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Comments

Anonymous, on Oct 20, 2009 wrote:
Straight Bashing? Sounds like something that could happen in an episode of Sliders, or The Twilight Zone. I imagine a group of angry homosexuals with shaved heads and flip-open butterfly knives walking up to a straight man on the street from behind, suddelny grabbing him with the blade at his neck, and asking "Are you het?" and when he responded "yes" they’d slit his throat spraying blood onto the cement, and they would all urinate on his coprse and carve the word "breeder" into the flesh of his chest.
Anonymous, on Aug 12, 2009 wrote:
Holly crap a fag is bashing back! It’s funny what people write when they find themselves offended by this, as if they are personally under attack and have to type a response to keep them in there place
shelby, on Jun 22, 2009 wrote:
what? manly gays that still shave their bodies and have clockwork orange posters over their mantle?
Anonymous, on Jun 22, 2009 wrote:
it must be okay if he has that look on his face
Anonymous, on Jun 21, 2009 wrote:
If all straight men wore assless chaps, Bruce wouldn’t know who to attack!
Anonymous, on Jun 21, 2009 wrote:
you gota be kidding me. right? I’m a lesbian, but i hate fags who shove their faginess in the worlds face. chill out. you don’t have to hide that your gay, but lets not purposely try to intimidate people with it. that shit is fucked up.
Anonymous, on Jun 21, 2009 wrote:
fags like bruce labruce scare me, he’s like a giant AIDS spore.
i am aggy, on Jun 21, 2009 wrote:
ok...
Anonymous, on Jun 20, 2009 wrote:
Bruce LaBruce is the man. When i was 19 i showed a room full of indie kids "Super 8 1/2" where Ben Weasel gets a BJ for a half second.

I didn’t know what I was getting into, and neither did the room. This one kid was traumatized for months. Hilarious. Thanks for the shock and awe, B la B!
Anonymous, on Jun 20, 2009 wrote:
yes fucking breeders. we need more homo-induced violence.
Anonymous, on Jun 20, 2009 wrote:
This is some of the stupidest shit I’ve ever read.
Anonymous, on Apr 17, 2009 wrote:
Take a few chill pills mate, if you’re at all serious in this article.
Anonymous, on Apr 2, 2009 wrote:
Hmmm... and I had always thought that verse was a jab at Black Francis...
Anonymous, on Feb 10, 2009 wrote:
YEA!
Anonymous, on Dec 26, 2008 wrote:
this wasn’t a joke?

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