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Besides the genius that you can make out in the photo (blackface Cleveland Indian anyone?) I’d like to add the removable, velcro, mini Etch A Sketch wristband and the little girl’s Dunk sole belt buckle. This fucker’s like the Inspector Gadget of the DOs.
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The rule used to be you could only wear a fedora with a collared shirt and cords, not jeans, but do you think this maverick gives a flying fuck about the rules? He IS the rules.
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If you really had balls you’d stick one of them in this guy’s mouth.Comments/Enlarge | See all




SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BABY

You're Obsessing Over Nothing

Still from Above the Below


Why should you care that Harmony Korine did adocumentary about another one of David Blaine's look-at-me stunts? So what if a megalomaniac magician locked himself in a tiny glass box for 44 days and called it performance art? After all, isn't David Blaine that creepy pervert famous for running back to his car to get his press kit every time the girl he's hitting on says she hasn't heard of him? And Harmony Korine? The last we heard of him he was stumbling around London dropping crack pipes everywhere. Now we're supposed to take notice when we're told about a stunt Blaine claims will teach us how much we take life for granted? And we're supposed to trust a sloppy drug addict to convey it correctly? Of course you are, you cynical piece of shit! What the fuck happened to you, anyways? Did your dad's hands practically live in your swimsuit area your whole life? Jesus.

Above the Below (both the stunt and the movie) purports to be performance art that teaches viewers what's wrong with their lives, and that's exactly what it is. The movie starts with Blaine talking to his doctor about everything that could go wrong. After discussing organ failure and delirium and the like, the doctor wants to know why Blaine is doing this. "I want to make people watch suffering," Blaine says. "I watched my brother and my mother deteriorate and slowly die right in front of my eyes." Then he goes on to explain how obsessed we all are with material things and how totally irrelevant it all is. It's at this point that you realize this stunt isn't about dinkhead David Blaine or his faux naivety. Nor is it about how wasted Harmony is. It's a groundbreaking piece of performance art that's beautifully filmed, and the lesson is "Shut up you fucking baby." It's all about the audience.

The majority of the film doesn't even feature Blaine. Instead we see long, romantic shots of drunken British tourists smiling up at the sky; sunny slow-motion shots of happy teenage girls jumping up and down screaming, "We love you David!"; drooling mentally ill people grasping for some of their own spotlight; and even Hasidic Jews praying below the box because they're convinced it was a miracle. While these tragic and sweet images are playing in your mind, the Slint soundtrack trails from dinky little music-box sounds to Blaine groggily talking about how beautiful all these people are.

We're all way too obsessed with our own luxuries. Most people who saw Blaine's stunt or Korine's movie took at least a moment to reflect on their own suffering and how trivial it is. That means it worked. No matter what the cynics say.

DARREN ALBERTY
Above the Below originally aired on BBC's Channel Four and can be purchased at amazon.co.uk.

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