DEAR DIARY

Entry: November 1998

November 1998
Dear Diary,

I have a billion trillion thoughts running through my head right now. About my new tattoo and my parents’ reaction (disrespect?). BJ and I got so high together, and all he talked about was hockey, the “crew,” Lawng Island—I just wanted him to tell me about the woods in Michigan and I said “why don’t you just run away and live with me at school.” He thinks I’m c.r.a.z.y. and the biggest weirdo and I just don’t think he’s romantic at all. My whole house smells like greenery. Wow. Ok, my new tattoo is so awesome and bad ass and rad because it’s little and it’s also very visible but I am getting really nervous about my parents. I do respect my parents, but I hope that they respect me enough to know that I can do what I want with my body, even if it means making a mistake. I have to make my own dumb mistakes. I just feel so guilty not telling them and it’s so obvious when I’ve done something wrong. I know I did something wrong to them.

September 2003
Dear VICE,

Every one of my diary entries has been about mistakes. Personally, I think mistakes are rad and I try to make as many as possible. Here are some things I learned from this entry:

1. Don’t ask a boy to “run away with you,” especially if you are high on pot. Especially if his name is “BJ.”

2. The best part of getting a tattoo is regretting it. That’s what Bruce Labruce says, and I’ll believe whatever he tells me. The tattoo I was referring to is a black star on my wrist, and my parents were like “big whup” about the whole thing. I guess “greenery” can cause a person to overreact. Maybe I’d think differently if it was a tattoo of the Tasmanian Devil holding a severed head in one hand and a blunt in the other. Getting a black star on your wrist is so whatever. I can cover that shit up with a watch.

3. No offense, Mom, but fuck my parents. I’ve made plenty of dumb mistakes and have continued to make them and I’m doing fine.

LESLEY ARFIN

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