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I don’t know this guy but I know if I did know this guy we would make the acronym BFF look like it pussied out. Comments/Enlarge | See all



Man, that 101% of the leg thing with the shorts that get the fuck out of the way makes every girl around her seem half-assed and bummed out.
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The best way to guarantee no one ever breaks into your trailer is to combine the two things that civilization has, throughout history, been most afraid of: pirates (hence the Jolly Roger) and working-class British people (hence the Burberry). Nobody would dare fly a plane into this thing, much less try to burglarize it while the owners are at the bar drinking pints of black Sambuca and beating their children with spiked bats.Comments/Enlarge | See all




BEATS AND RHYMES



Lexicon Slug Buck 65

Ever since he started out with the BDP crew in the mid-80s, Cool G. Rap has been a legend in the streets. After dropping a few classics and chilling on the sidelines watching his children go pro, the man is back with reinforcements. Click of Respect (Igloo Ent.) consists of the Cool Genius himself, backed up by his new crew, including wife Ma Parker. If it sounds a little familiar, remember, people bit him, not the other way around.

You all know my man Omid (aka O.D.) from his Under the Surface compilation a few years back, plus his work with various underground legends on the Fresh Coast. His new joint Monolith (Mush) continues where his last one, Distinct Drummer, left off. More beats that you’d kill for, and strong vocal showings from the likes of Abstract Rude, Buck 66, Spoon, Busdriver, and Hymnal.

Speaking of Buck 66, homeboy is hitting a home run with his new one, Talkin’ Donky Blues. Arguably his best yet, this record teams Mr. Stinky with Greenmatter and T.O.A.D. to form production squad the Enmity.

And your man Abstract Food got another new one cooked up with Tribe Unique. Snowtyme maintains Ab’s trademark soulful b-boy style, and is one of his strongest releases yet. This cat’s voice is ridiculous, and will mesmerize you if you give him half a chance.

All you Def Jam riders know all about RJD2 from last years Headspinnerr and his work with MHz, and you’re probably familiar with Blueprint from his work with the Rhymesayers crew. Together they form Pole Position, and their new album 8,000,000 Stories is probably already in your Walkman. If not, it should be.

It’s hard not to be down with the Hiero camp. I mean, let’s be real, along with the Freestyle Fellowship they’re the reason 90 percent of you cats are rapping right now. Their new crew album, Fool Circle (Hiero Imperium), isn’t the best record you’ve ever heard, but it’s still better than the stuff you and your boy are making right now, so pay respects and pick up a copy so they have enough money to drop Kasual’s new album, which is what I’m really waiting for.

After turning down major-label offers following their last blow-up, God Hates Ugly, your boys from Minnesota, Atmosphere (Slug, Ant, and Mr. Dibbs) have teamed up with Epitaph (?!) to drop their new one, Seven’s Travels (RhymeSayers). I really don’t have to say much about this one, it’s easily better than their last, and will easily slide into my top nine list for the year. Don’t make me have to tell you again, go buy it now.

Working the underground with last year’s It’s tha L!, Oakland brother duo Lexicon have returned with their solid follow-up, Youth Is Yours (Spytech). Sounding like sunshine, Nick Dirty and Li’l Oak along with producer DJ Cheapseats, have crafted one of those feel-good albums that’ll take you back to the carefree days of the early 90s.

For the nerds reading this, you’ve likely picked out a bunch of mistakes in the column this month. The cat who can email me with the most mistakes will get an autographed copy of my new album Jesus Christ Tennis Star.

FRITZ THA CAT
Send music (CDs and Vinyl), clothing (L), shoes (size 10), money, and drugs to: fritzthacat@viceland.com, www.fritzthacat.com, e-mail list: fritzthacat-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Top Nine (in no particular order)
1. Atmosphere Seven’s Travels (Rhyme Sayers/Epitaph) 2. Hieroglyphics Full Circle (Hiero Imperium) 3. Soul Position 8,000,000 Stories (Rhyme Sayers) 4. Abstract Rude Showtyme (Battle Axe) 5. Buck 65 Talkin’ Honky Blues (Warner) 6. Omid Monolith (Mush) 7. Non-Prophets Hope (Lex) 8. MF Doom Special Herbs Vol. 4 (Just Vinyl) 9. Villain Accelerate Maid of Gold (Mush)


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