I STILL CAN'T BUY VERSACE

For some reason, critics are not feeling Lumidee. At press time, Entertainment Weekly had just destroyed her “dismal debut,” calling her a “comically tone-deaf vocalist.” And it’s a shame, because what everybody fails to realize is that Lumidee is the new Lisa Lisa. This nineteen-year-old boriqueña decided to sing off-key over a drum beat for three minutes, and although the end result is about as melodically evolved as a 1987 freestyle record, it remains the catchiest Top 40 hit in recent memory and now serves as Spanish Harlem’s national anthem. The “Uh Oooh” song is a raw, innocent fluke, and in all its endearing imperfections, it’s the perfect reflection of Lumi herself. She’s that semi-cute around-the-way girl who only sings in the shower. The kind of girl you want to pour your heart out to while she braids your hair. The kind of girl you want to go shopping with.

VICE: So tell me where you would buy clothes before you blew up.

Lumidee: You have to go to spots where you can bargain. Like at Janis Jeans, whatever price they show, you can talk it down. Same at Hip Hop 2000 down the block from where I’m at, on 177th and Third Ave. Some of the smaller spots have no names, you just know where they’re at. We call them by whoever works there, like “Let’s go see Carlos.” It’s really not about how much you spend. You can look good with a $15 shirt on.

So you don’t get flossed out?

I mean, now I can get nicer things but it’s not that crazy yet. I still can’t buy Versace. I don’t own any of that stuff. I like Pepe Jeans, Baby Phat, Lady Enyce. You know, ’hood clothes. I’m heavy into wifebeaters and white tank tops. I just want to be comfortable, like I’ll wear flip-flops and poom poom shorts, or trucker hats and Juicy sweatsuits––nothing too crazy. I’ll even wear Tims with shorts. I used to wear Tims with a dress but I grew out of it. I used to be into the ruff look.

What are some tips you can give to get your look nowadays?

Now I’ll just buy an “I Love NY” shirt, cut the sleeves off, and add bracelets. Or you can get a red tank top, add the right earrings and the right belt, and stand out. It’s all about how you work your outfit. When people look at you, they can’t see the brands, so you have to be original and make your own things. It’s not about names, it’s about style.

Does it get competitive between girls around your way?

In the ’hood everybody wants to be better than the next person––every girl tries to outshine the other. In your face they might be like, “This looks cool,” but then behind your back they’ll be like, “Oh, she thinks she’s all that.” Some girls got the little Fendi bags and not a dollar in their pocket. You see the girls with the strappy boots or the pointy shoes? Me, I can’t even walk in them. Like on the album cover. I could not walk in those boots. I couldn’t wait to get off that stoop and take those boots off. And another thing is, I don’t like to be half naked. You won’t see me with my clothes half off in a video because that’s not how I hang out. We don’t wear no bikinis on the block.

How about boys? What do you think about this summer’s look now that hair is back?

I like long hair on guys, but it’s not a clean look. I like guys looking ruff but not dirty, so you either got to have your hair in braids or tied back. That’s why I like the Caesar cut better.Otherwise it’s like guys are trying to compete with your hair. You know how they can get disrespectful if they holler at you and you don’t look back. Now it’s like half the guys got longer hair than girls in the ’hood. It gets silly. Overall guys have it easy, though. They just wear white tees all day. But if you’re doing the white-on-white thing, you got to be crispy. No wrinkles and no scuff. One thing I don’t like is those extra-long white tees. They look like “batas,” that’s how we call nightgowns in Spanish. You look like you’re going to sleep in them. And you can’t wear a white T-shirt twice, unless you’re not trying to look cool. If it’s already kind of yellow, you’re no good. Get another one, it’s only three dollars.

WHOADIE ALLEN
Lumidee’s Almost Famous is out now on Straight Face Records/Universal.

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