FRIENDSTER
When I first told VICE that they should do something about Friendster.com, it was one of those “Dude, you should be the first to do this weird new thing!” things. But in the two short months since then, Friendster has fucking exploded. As this goes to press, everyone you’ve ever known knows that it is simultaneously the most incredible communication invention since email (which was the most incredible thing since the telephone) and the most fun social Easter egg hunt since showing up at your own funeral as a ghost.
Find your friends, find old friends, new friends, enemies, people posing as famous people, and then communicate with them. Or just stare at them. Or send their profile to all your homies so everyone can stare and send messages back and forth about the person. And it’s free.
However, check this out, Iheard there’s going to be a membership fee by the end of the summer. That sucks. I kind of hope everyone will quit just to show the Friendster headquarters that you can’t charge people to have countless hours of entertainment and community dialogue. Right?!
BARR
ONLY UNDIES CLUB
OnlyUndiesClub.com is TWO GREAT things. It is the best place on the Internet for cute young emo kids to hook up and be friends AND it is the best place on the Internet for voyeuristic aging punks with teenager fetishes and old fags who like lanky boys.
For example, the first person who told me about it was a 30-year-old lesbian who gets off on looking at adolescent dudes who resemble Chachi.
Then me and my friends made up this game where your future wife is randomly chosen by a number on the site. If she’s cute, you’re psyched to get her, but if she’s lame, you’re bummed because you have to imaginary-marry her. Then we introduced it to a bunch of homos and they became obsessed with the same game but in “the briefs” section.
Is that so wrong?
Only Undies is obviously serving a need, uniting kids from all over the world in their love of grindcore, tattoos, and putting “x” at the start and end of their nicknames. And I’m not even being sarcastic—those are all good things. So what’s the problem if a few lurkers are hanging out, reflecting on their own mortality? Right!?
STARR
