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This country is a melting pot, not just of races and cultures but of fucking losers. That means you get deluded aging musicians palling it up with pathetic drag queens flirting with quirky Germans that write “comical poetry” for the internet.
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Friday-night girls all dressed up with somewhere to go is so ritualistic and organized with the matching colors and specific mating dances you expect to hear a narrator with a British accent explaining how the competing males will react. Comments/Enlarge | See all







WAS PASSIERT MIT DEN VERLORENENK...
By Albert Bertolin
HOME SURGERY PARTY
How to Operate on Your Guests
GAMES
The Getaway, Vietcong
JULIET BY VALERIE PHILLIPS
"I've known Juliet for a long time, thoug...






DOWN DOWN TO HELL
And Say Matt Leines Sent Thee Thither
CHEMICAL WARFARE
Getting High In Hospital Is Getting Harde...
BEATS AND RHYMES
I already told you about the D.O.C.'s new...
OUT OF MY HEAD
Tim Lokiec Escapes from New York



JESS ANYTHING
YIKES
The Kooky Gals From Electrocute Have Sex ...
THE DEATH OF EARTH
Dylan Carlson's Blown It

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I don’t know this guy but I know if I did know this guy we would make the acronym BFF look like it pussied out.Comments/Enlarge | See all







These two are Nicole and Mia from an German electrockabilly band called Electrocute. When they got together about a year ago, they knew that to stand out among the plastic-trousered-gender-bending dildo collectors in the Berlin electro scene they would have to raise the ‘woah’ factor a little. The result? They decided to always perform in the nude, while pouring milk over each other’s bodies and singing songs about having sex with their daddies etc etc etc etc bleaaughh...

VICE: So girls—looking good. Tell us something interesting.

Nicole: Hee hee hee. OK. Once I stole a cheque and erased the writing with nail polish remover and then filled it out to myself for $900. I cashed it at a bank with a fake ID. I still feel horrible about it but you know I was hangin’ out with a bad group of kids and they forced me to do it to buy drugs.

Mia: The worst thing I did was take a sleeping pill overdose at the age of 5. Creative crime was a big thing in my childhood. Y’know, the crazy glue, the prank calls are a good thing and sending old fish to the right people is just as good. The concept of ‘What would happen if” is a good life motivation y’know? Creative crime, y’know?

Do you feel that you are deliberately appealing to male masturbation fantasies by dressing like hookers and singing songs about getting in to bed with your daddy? S’a bit cheap don’t you think?

Nicole: Umm excuse me?

What?

I’ve worked as a stripper and a dominatrix and can you please tell me what doesn’t appeal to men’s masturbatory fantasies?

Mafia squirrels?

I had a fantasy/role-play client once ask me to pretend that we were in a McDonalds parking lot and I was trying to kidnap him from his mum while slapping her titties around.

Mia: Ja, sure we think about that. Me and my girls, the baddest sluts, dirty old whores and the filthy sex teens we all get our daddies on. Extra thought: you know almost every good rock and roll song has a sexual connotation. We repel the double standard, thank you.

What’s with the milk pouring? Doesn’t it smell?

Nicole: Milk doesn’t smell worse than sweat or beer and its actually nice for your hair and skin.

Mia: Ja. I’m kinda shameless, you know.

JESS ANYTHING
Elecrocute’s debut single “I Love My Daddy” is out in May through Emperor Norton Records.

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