 BLACK-MARKET ARTISTS
10 Things You Didn't Know About the Underground EconomyWhere'd all the money go? We know it's still there somewhere, but where'd it go? Economists disagree as to exactly how much of our economy has gone underground, but they do agree on two major points: it is a fuck of a lot, and it's never been more. Back in the 70s only 3–5 percent of the economy was...
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  BEATS AND RHYMES
I already told you about the D.O.C.'s new album, Deuce. But since you don't listen, I'm gonna let him tell you a bit about it himself. If you ain't knowing, this cat played a huge role in the rise of gangsta rap, rolling with and writing for N.W.A., Eazy-E, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and more. His 1989 Dr...
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 YOU LIKE THAT?
Jesse Fischler's Perverted Demons Get the Fuck OutJesse is a painter and record store guy (go to Shrine on 9th Street) who works out all of his heavy issues about sex in joyous depictions of porn-caliber fucking. "I think about sex a lot and I have a girlfriend, so these are a good way to maintain a monogamous relationship," he says. "And I guess m...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: October 1990October 1990
Dear Diary,
When Mike asked me out it was a joke–thank G-d! I think I'm getting a math tutor. Halloween was awesome. Me, Sheryl, and Amanda all wore skeleton earrings. Alexis frenched Ian. I've never really kept a straight diary like this. I hope when I die it's published. ...
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 OUT OF MY HEAD
Tim Lokiec Escapes from New YorkTim Lokiec is a wide-eyed young man from Cleveland. His art is equally inspired by "third and fourth plateau consciousnesses, animals, tree houses, kidnapping, intercepted messages via plateau sigma, neon trash, and T. Rex." In other words, he is high....
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 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
If life is kicking you square in the cojones, and you need to chill the fuck out, Electric Indy has some advice: drop Radio Amor (Mille Plateaux), the latest effort by ambient wunderkind Tim Hecker, into your sound system. Then sit back and ride the snake, cuz this shit is fucking dense. Reminiscent...
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 DOWN DOWN TO HELL
And Say Matt Leines Sent Thee ThitherMatt Leines' paintings look like mythic hieroglyphs from some culture that anthropologists haven't yet unearthed, maybe some place that sunk into the ocean when Pangaea broke apart....
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 FANTASY FOR FLESH
Gelatin Mix Orgies and IntellectGelatin are what it would be like if the Beatles enjoyed playing with their own shit and made art instead of music. They have made a human elevator, where a chain of muscle dudes hand you to each other up the inside of a 30-foot structure; they have vacuum-sealed themselves in plastic with only a br...
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 MY AMERICA
Recently I was lucky enough to have dinner at a really good, really expensive four-star restaurant in New York City. It was at the base of the Trump Tower just off Central Park. I still feel a little guilty, in a white-liberal way. I'll tell you a little bit about the restaurant and then get to the ...
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 BAD ASS TRIP
Bill Saylor Makes the Brown Acid Taste Like ChocolateBill Saylor says he is inspired by: "organic systems, Viennese action drawing, collective graffiti, and sci-fi." We would like to add the following to that list: Grateful Dead graphics, paint dripping in the rain, and biker iconography....
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 FUCK THE USA
Jo Jackson Notices the NegativeSan Francisco artist Jo Jackson makes super-super-flat paintings using her favorite material, Holbein acrylic gouache. "I like it because it's disaster-prone, and also they make the most beautiful colors," she says.
Nothing looks accidental or out of place in Jo's paintings, though. ...
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 TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v10n31 CONFEDERATE DOORAG
A doorag with the fucking Confederate flag on it? How much thought went into this, a tenth of a second? Rebel, bad boy, tough guy, thug----––throw them in the blender, and bang, you're done. One problem, Florida store (that's where I got this): White rebels and black rebels...
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 SKETCHING THE YASHICA
Pia Dehne Hates Her RoommateDuring the snapshot-photography gold rush, everybody suddenly thought they could take a good picture if they just had a Yashica and some fucked-up buddies.
Then someone comes along who uses actual good snapshots (taken by both herself and her friends) to make faithfully rendered and startli...
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 FANCY DANCER
And Other Horse Names by Josh SmithKnoxville, Tennessee, native Josh Smith works out of a studio in Harlem, just a few blocks from the northeast corner of Central Park, where he sometimes fishes in the spring and summer....
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 UNICORNS AREN’T REAL
Devin Flynn Has Lost The PlotDevin Flynn made an animated video for the Lightning Bolt song "13 Monsters" that is so retardedly hilarious and scary that it is almost a blessing that most of the world will never see it. (It's only available on the Bolt tour DVD that came out last year.) "But actually, Load Records is going to re...
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 UNICORNS ARE DEAD
Murder, Metal and Magnificence by Banks VioletteBanks Violette is the only artist who is still doing interesting things inspired by death metal. All others who try to mine Burzum albums for ideas: Please stop now. Including you, Matthew Barney....
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 RAPIST SQUIRRELS
And Other Forest Fables by Judi RosenJudi Rosen makes her art in a little workshop in the back of her cluttered clothing store on East 9th Street. She's been taking taxidermy classes for a while now, and look how fucking good she is already....
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 COMME LES COCHONS
The Richest People in France Are BrokeYou may know France as simply the most peace-loving, idealistic, freedom-promoting, anti-war-blah-de-blah nation in the world, but this foul-smelling pays (that now goes by the name "Freedom") is also home to one of the most retarded forms of self-expression ever conceived....
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 CRAZY LIKE A FOX
The Fucked-Up World of Lil' KimBack in 1995, Kim was a little girl dressed all in black, surrounded by a bunch of goons in a Junior M.A.F.I.A. ad. She did what Biggie Smalls told her to do and all we knew was that she was a cute little girl in a dress that reminded us of Betty Boop. Then Biggie died and she went nuts. Nobody knew...
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 THE VICE GUIDE TO BEING TOTALLY CRUSHED OUT!
Being "crushed out" is not the ethereal world of magic not-knowingness that people often think it is. In actual fact, the "crush" is a well-researched science that goes back tens and tens of years. For example, when you are attracted to someone, you send out a series of sex pheromones to the mate in...
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 GUITARS AREN’T BORING
And Dead Meadow Are Not A FadI think I was just nearly finished complaining to a friend about the obnoxious, "driving" rock sound of the most recent post-post-postpunk when I got the Dead Meadow album Shivering King and Others. I put it on, the first grimy and psychedelic chords puffed out like smoke, and every bitter taste I h...
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 DO THE HUSTLE
American Boys from 1975 to 2003Hey, fellas. How much would you charge a 52-year-old Tribeca math tutor with furry knuckles and a comb-over to flicker-lick your sac and moan softly into your butt-hole for, say, an hour? What's that? $225? How about for a CitiCorp account exec to treat you to a t-bone at Angelo & Maxie's, then roll...
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 OUT OF MY HAIR
Catharyne Ward's Unscaleable TressesLondon punk rocker Catharyne Ward has collected and bagged her own hair trimmings since she was 14. In between listening to Sex Pistols records and gobbing on old ladies, she'd enthusiastically cut, scythe and dye her friends' hair on Saturday mornings for beer money before heading down to the pub t...
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 SPACE TRAVELLING SKULLS
The Blood Spattered Whimsy of Kensei YabunoJapanese painter & designer Kensei Yabuno paints like a little Hieronymus Bosch in short trousers who isn't afraid of God.
I've never actually met the little fella, but my mental image of him is in some tiny Tokyo home studio that's crammed to the ceiling with various ephemera–all perfectly...
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 HUNGRY LIKE A WOLF
Warrior Queen Wants Your WalletYou may have heard this story before. It's the one about the country girl who moves to the city and somehow manages to retain her innocence in the face of overwhelming corruption. Only, the story of how Jamaican Dancehall DJ, Warrior Queen, rose up is Little Red Riding Hood in reverse. When this asp...
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 MUSIC FOR GIRLS
But Luciano Isn't GayDo you remember that perfect moment on holiday, when you lay on the deserted beach with your lover, both nicely high, and you watched the sun slowly rise, its golden orange glow dappling the sea? You remember thinking, after a while, "This is beautiful and everything, and I'm really happy to be here...
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 CHEMICAL WARFARE
Getting High In Hospital Is Getting HarderThe use of Class A street drugs by people on National Health Service property is so completely out of control we only had to spend ten minutes in one of London's biggest hospitals to picture this guy smoking crack in an ironing room down the hall from a children's ward. Look at dude's eyes. He's all...
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 YIKES
Glass Candy And The Shattered Theatre Are Fucking WeirdOne of the worst things about the shitty new garage rock scene is how happy-go-lucky and howdy doody the bands always are.
I'll PUKE if I see another bunch of retro-blues-rocking cocks from America called something like The Detroit Von Bondie Brothers who say their main influences are Sly &...
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 YIKES
The Kooky Gals From Electrocute Have Sex With DaddyThese two are Nicole and Mia from an German electrockabilly band called Electrocute. When they got together about a year ago, they knew that to stand out among the plastic-trousered-gender-bending dildo collectors in the Berlin electro scene they would have to raise the 'woah' factor a little. The r...
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 LAST STOP MELBOURNE TOWN
The Excessive Habits of Alex VivianoYou know how occasionally someone comes along, shakes shit up and makes you realise what it is like to be living after the fall of communism? Alex Viviano is that kind of person. Artist, song writer and selector, he is creating pretty messes across Melbourne town to offend the senses. His hygiene is...
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 THE VICE GUIDE TO CAPITAL PUNISHMENT
I had my shi tzu put down today. He wasn't vicious. He wasn't sick. He wasn't even old. I've just always wanted to witness an execution and, in the absence of capital punishment (let alone public executions) in this fine country of ours, poor Beggy seemed like my only real chance....
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