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DOS & DON'TS

Hoping you never bump into her again for the rest of your life isn’t a great feeling, but the six hours of completely insane contortionist fucking at her weird apartment with three cats is going to be pretty unforgettable. Comments/Enlarge | See all


When did CBGB get taken over by roided-out rock ’n’ roll tourists? It’s become like Extreme Planet Hollywood, and I fear for its future if it carries on like this. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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DOWN DOWN TO HELL

And Say Matt Leines Sent Thee Thither


Title: Untitled
Artist: Matt Leines
Gallery: New Image Arts
Medium: Acrylic on wood
Price: $1,000

Matt Leines’ paintings look like mythic hieroglyphs from some culture that anthropologists haven’t yet unearthed, maybe some place that sunk into the ocean when Pangaea broke apart.

There are strange stories going on here, like why is that Zeus guy sticking lightning bolts in those other dudes’ heads? Why is that big, bearded guy’s face melting into a pile of all-American-colored globlets? Why does it feel like climbing into these drawings would turn you into an omniscient scholar-god who has sex with thousands of young neophytes daily?

Matt lives somewhere in that part of northern New Jersey that remains verdant and secluded, and was unreachable for comment on these questions. Apparently he still lives at home, but his parents’ number is unlisted.

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