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Theme couples were a Don't no-brainer until they started ratcheting up the esoterica and settling on things like "Picture of someone's drunk Russian parents from the 60s." Comments/Enlarge | See all



Er, if you’re going for medieval biker punk you might want to get something a little more substantial that a fucking Vespa. Those are for a type of in-the-closet girly man we call a “mod.” When you ride it you look like elephant Satan going to battle on a tricycle. Comments/Enlarge | See all







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THEYDON BOIS
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We like the outfit and everything but are lowriders and a short striped shirt the best choice for you? You have the weirdest torso ever made. You look like a deflating balloon for fuck’s sake. If Tim Burton designed your upper body it’s probably better to go with a Patti Smith-type thing where your contorting spine can hide in layers of men’s shirts, tight blazers, and distracting white scarves.
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EXPLODING MILKSHAKES

The Acid's On Ceephax




Trends in electronic music come and go, but the mercurial bubble and squelch of good old acid has remained a permanent fixture since day one. Ceephax Acid Crew’s self-titled debut album, out this month, is the finest straight-up acid record we’ve heard in years. In the right hands, the sounds generated by a Roland TB303, the best known piece of acid-making equipment, can convey emotion in music as lucidly and affectingly as any traditional instrument. Andy Jenkinson, the Chelmsford-based 24-year-old behind Ceephax AC, is a virtuoso when it comes to acid. He’s also the youngest brother of Tom “Squarepusher” Jenkinson.

Listening to Andy’s music is like taking your mind on a trip to a seaside theme park where the rides are made from marshmallow and the colours are impossibly brilliant. Since most people don’t know about Ceephax yet, even though he’s released grade-A acid for a while now, VICE asked Andy some questions loosely based around the idea of escapism.

VICE: Tell me about your favourite holiday.

Going to Holland when I was eleven springs to mind. I was with my grandparents and cousin Isaac. I fell in love with a girl in the Rotterdam Maritime museum.

And your favourite party?

My eighth birthday party at the Chelmsford Wimpy. I remember my milkshake exploded.

What’s in your head when you make music?

Regal riffs. Arcades. Love in an ice rink. Toxic waste barrels. A snowy town square. Traffic lights changing at night with no traffic.

Have you ever gone skiing?

I’ve never been skiing unfortunately, but I reckon I’d love it. I went to the Beckton Alps in London once, but that was just to look at the view of London. I went ice skating last year. I saw a geezer out of The Bill. I love watching all wintery sports, skiing included. I’ve never seen any in reality though. One of my favourite games on the Commodore 64 is Winter Games by Epyx. It’s beautiful.

Where did you do your fine art degree?

Hull for two years and then London. Hull was wicked for writing music as it had this North Sea vibe that inspired loads of coastal tracks. “Swab Funk” was inspired by a Kingston Communications phone box (a Swab box). Hull has its own telephone company and their phone boxes are cream coloured, not red, in case you were wondering. Somehow I got a 2:1; pretty funny considering I just played my tutors my music every now and again. They must have secretly liked acid.

THEYDON BOIS
Ceephax Acid Crew is out now on Breakin’ Records. Another new Ceephax album, The Last Ferry, comes out on First Cask in May. www.dmxkrew.dircon.co.uk

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