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If you’re feeling so cheery that you’ve just got to let the world know, steal a rusty razor blade from your dad’s bathroom trash and carve a Mr. Smilez into your arm, nice and deep. Yay! Comments/Enlarge | See all



Puerto Rican chicks are fucking sexy but they have screaming babies and brothers that want to kill you. Midwesterners are clean but they’re also boring as shit. When the latter dresses as the former it’s as hot as Alicia Keys wearing one of those Nancy Reagan Chanel suits.
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There isn’t much more of a DO than looking like a freshly reincarnated David Wojnarowicz (but this time around without the AIDS).Comments/Enlarge | See all




DEAR VICE

Why Does The Rain Smell Nice


LONDON FOG
Dear VICE,

Why don’t you answer questions people really want to know the answer to? Like why does the rain smell nice in the country but bad in the city. Is it just because of dog shit? Can you explain that?
Love,
SAMANTHA MORRIS
Birmingham, UK

Sure, Samantha, no probs:

In the country, bacteria grow in the soil when it’s damp and warm out. Then, when the soil dries, the bacteria produce spores. The wetness and force of rainfall kick these tiny spores up into the air, where the moisture acts like an aerosol air freshener. It smells like nice, earthy peat, and it makes you feel like you should just move to the country permanently and grow your own veggies. It’s only two hours away, and the train runs right along the river. You could commute or work over the web.

If you go even further out in the sticks, like deep in the forest, the rain smells even better. This is because some plants release oil, which collects on rocks. The rain hits the rocks and carries the oil through the air. It smells like springy happy gardens and summer forests and it makes you pretend you’re an elf (but only in your head, you don’t tell anybody you’re doing it).

City rain is bullshit. Because of chemicals in the atmosphere, urban rainwater tends to be acidic. When acid rain comes in contact with organic debris or chemicals on the ground, it can cause particularly “aromatic” reactions that aren’t pleasant. It can smell like rotten eggs, and it is also why Chinatown smells like a wet, dirty dog when it rains.

And Samantha, just to be thorough, we also asked some other people what they thought about the smell of rain:




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