 ALL CATS MUST DIE
It's Your Job to Kill Them
I hate cats. Not in an "I love dogs" way or a "women are from Venus, men are from Mars" way. I hate cats because they perfectly sum up why everything humans do is wrong. That is why anytime I see one I coax it over, pretending I have food, and then CRACK! Ikic...READ MORE |
  BEATS AND RHYMES
Some believe the Universe began with a Sound and that since the dawn of humanity, people have been trying to re-create that sound in order to advance the planet beyond the shitty state it's in now....READ MORE |
 SAVE OUR FORESTS
The Joys of Blowing a Bear's Head Off
Hey, guess what? I blew a bear's fucking head off and it felt awesome. It's the kind of thing that makes your mouth say, "Holy shit" without your brain's permission. It also makes you feel a strange and cruel kinship with nature (kind of like when the Bad Brai...READ MORE |
 DEAR DIARY
Entry: Spring 1992
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow I am going to South Woods. I hope I hope I hope I hope Mr. Greenspan doesn't recognize me from last year. If I get in trouble I'll be soooo dead...READ MORE |
 STUNNING NEMO
Whining Kids Beg for Cyanide
Finding Nemo was all a kid could want, right? Cute and psychedelic, with a few memorable ditties and plenty of moralizing. However, Finding Nemo neglected some pretty important stuff (and I'm not talking about another feminist critique of Snow White)....READ MORE |
 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
Taking his name from a fish that can breathe out its ass, Cologne-based Schlammpeitziger's (a.k.a. Jo Zimmerman) latest Everything Without All Inclusive (Sonig) follows a well-tread path of playful DIY electronic pop. Reminiscent of Felix Kubin's lighthearted ...READ MORE |
 LIFE WITH SQUIRRELS
A Local Hero Loses Some Friends
I had a pet guinea pig and a pet chinchilla and they both died within a year of each other. I wanted a new pet, and someone in a pet store told me that he'd heard about two baby squirrels up in the Bronx. Apparently some boys found them or got them one way or ...READ MORE |
 VICE FASHION - THE TERRA COTTA INN
If you told me three years ago that I would have the most fun job in the world, that I would have a job where I could not wait to get to work and where I would hate to leave work, I would have laughed in your face....READ MORE |
 GOD DAMNS IT
Why Scientists Are Pure Evil
While most scientists are thrilling the shit out of us with string theories about the size of the universe and rocks that are about 80 million years old, there are still a select few that are using science for terrible, terrible things. The best example of thi...READ MORE |
 VICE PICTURES
The Nature Issue
Photos by Roe Ethridge, Kevin Trageser, Isabel Asha Penzlien, Michael Vahrenwald, Todd Seelie, Glynnis McDaris, Jason Frank Rothenberg, Jeremiah Clancy & Peter Sutherland...READ MORE |
 BEHIND THE LOOKING ASS
Michelle Segre's Land of Wonder
Imagine if Alice in Wonderland had been set somewhere between a drug-addled hippie version of the Arizona desert and Madame Toussaud's. Take one look at Michelle Segre's sculpture and, as if you'd just gone through the looking glass, there you are. An enormous...READ MORE |
 SKINEMA
By Chris Nieratko
BIG NATURAL TITS #9
I can't imagine that there exists a man who doesn't appreciate a nice set of knee-knocking natural tits. It makes me think that after a few thousand years God can occasionally figure it out and get it right. Most of the time I t...READ MORE |
 BIGFOOT LIVES
The Final Word
With over 250 separate Sasquatch sightings in the past year, even the most cynical scientists are starting to ask themselves, "Was I right when I said that he doesn't exist?" They're also saying, "What about that old record The Bigfoot Recordings, A True High ...READ MORE |
 TIDBITS
A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Nature Issue
1 THE AFRICAN LUNGFISH
Don't know much about this one. It looks like some kind of eel. I'd imagine it eats small fishes and it probably moves super-fucking fast, like it could just snake around a tree all slinky and then whip away in a flash. When it is r...READ MORE |
 HIGH PARK
Acid vs. Shrooms
In the past two years, the tides have turned drastically in the world of recreational drugs. Boredom and unemployment have brought on a massive resurgence of acid and mushrooms....READ MORE |
 THE VICE GUIDE TO SHIT
How often have you found yourself at some horrible family event having mind-numbing conversations with 300-pound behemoths about the minutiae of pregnancy and babies? If you listen closely you'll realize all their talk of the runs, abdominal pain, and relaxed ...READ MORE |
 THREESOMES BLOW
They're Just Not Natural–Sorry
So you're lying on your back and two beautiful girls with waxed pussies are tending to your dink's every need. They are necking with each other and 69ing and one of them even has high heels on. You will be beating off about this moment for the next 40 years. E...READ MORE |
 LEAF BEATS
Forest Nymphs Go Digital
You've bought all our records, haven't you? We're Mileece, Anne Laplantine, Mira Calix, and Colleen. We're the new wave of laptop girls. We make music that sounds like plant cells dividing. And we're hot....READ MORE |
 NATURE MAN
Tragedy Khadafi Talks to the Trees
We can rave all we want about the mind-numbing virtues of ignorant rap, but don't you miss the days when Jeru used to drop superscientifical madness? In his latest effort, Queensbridge's unsung hero Tragedy Khadafi finally finds the perfect balance between exo...READ MORE |
 INTERVIEW WITH A TREE
Evergreen Can't Talk
How beautiful of a thing is an evergreen tree? How much of an inspiration is a tree that manages to hang on to its chlorophyll-ed goodness even in the harshest heart of winter? Am I tripping? I'm sorry, I guess I just sometimes wish I could be an evergreen. I ...READ MORE |
 DEAR VICE
Why Does The Rain Smell Nice
LONDON FOG
Dear VICE,
Why don't you answer questions people really want to know the answer to? Like why does the rain smell nice in the country but bad in the city. Is it just because of dog shit? Can you explain that?...READ MORE |
 BY DESIGN
Nature is invading graphic design. Artisans everywhere are busting out Grateful Dead CDs, growing their hair long, and reeking of patchouli oil. Possibly instigated by America's latest war, a.k.a Vietnam II, people are rebelling against "square" society by rev...READ MORE |
 NO BIRDS OR BITCHES
D Double E's Forest Gate
I come from a place in East LONDON called Forest Gate. When I say the name "forest gate" you may picture a scene of trees and nature and birds and streams, but it's not like that.
There's always been drama around here. Back in 1890, the Forest Lane Sc...READ MORE |
 CARROTS
The Vegetable Orchestra Have Banned Bananas
Nikolaus Gansterer can't walk past a market stall without getting hot under the collar. If he catches sight of a good-looking, nicely-weighted carrot or a plump, near-ripe aubergine, he has to buy it before anyone else does. That's because Nikolaus is a member...READ MORE |
 THE DEATH OF EARTH
Dylan Carlson's Blown It
We'd love to tell you Dylan Carlson's decision to reform Earth with his girlfriend and embark on a European tour was definitely the right and natural thing to do but we can't.
Blame the methadone, but the recent shows of this once-mighty group were so...READ MORE |
 STUFF THE MICE
Abattoir Makes Dead Animals Beautiful
Taxidermists are considered weird with good reason. They disembowel and dress up dead kitty cats and puppies. That's how they voluntarily spend their time. Jewellery designer Julia Black, however, is not your stereotypical mule-skinner. Her innocence and style...READ MORE |
 THE NAKED TRUTH
A Revealing Adventure in Perth
Everybody knows that nudists are a bunch of senior citizens that front like they really want to play naked volleyball but actually have big wrinkled orgies when nobody else is looking. Nudist lifestyle brochures all show families with tanned flaccid asses hold...READ MORE |
 HOW TO CATCH A NEW WAVE
The Disaster of Munich's Munk
Germany is a fascist one-party state of unquestioning obedience, correct? It's in their blood, right? Wrong! Come on, that's just plain mean. Most Germans today would swim like a leipziger to avoid being associated with being all rules-y and bossy. So what's u...READ MORE |
 THE CHEEK OF IT ALL
The Cops Are Coming For Your Ass
The scene in Sydney has been bullshit for a while now. There hasn't been a good local rock n' roll band that we've been excited about for ages. However, with the emergence of The Cops, everyone had better prepare themselves for the first trans-Australian party...READ MORE |
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