 ALL CATS MUST DIE
It's Your Job to Kill ThemI hate cats. Not in an "I love dogs" way or a "women are from Venus, men are from Mars" way. I hate cats because they perfectly sum up why everything humans do is wrong. That is why anytime I see one I coax it over, pretending I have food, and then CRACK! Ikick it back across the road. Believe me, m...
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  BEATS AND RHYMES
Some believe the Universe began with a Sound and that since the dawn of humanity, people have been trying to re-create that sound in order to advance the planet beyond the shitty state it's in now....
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 SAVE OUR FORESTS
The Joys of Blowing a Bear's Head OffHey, guess what? I blew a bear's fucking head off and it felt awesome. It's the kind of thing that makes your mouth say, "Holy shit" without your brain's permission. It also makes you feel a strange and cruel kinship with nature (kind of like when the Bad Brains would hang out with Nazi skinheads)....
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: Spring 1992Spring 1992
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow I am going to South Woods. I hope I hope I hope I hope Mr. Greenspan doesn't recognize me from last year. If I get in trouble I'll be soooo dead. Please let him not recognize me, please! Me and Ally played manhunt at Lee's house with Jimmy and Mike Didon...
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 STUNNING NEMO
Whining Kids Beg for CyanideFinding Nemo was all a kid could want, right? Cute and psychedelic, with a few memorable ditties and plenty of moralizing. However, Finding Nemo neglected some pretty important stuff (and I'm not talking about another feminist critique of Snow White)....
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 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
Taking his name from a fish that can breathe out its ass, Cologne-based Schlammpeitziger's (a.k.a. Jo Zimmerman) latest Everything Without All Inclusive (Sonig) follows a well-tread path of playful DIY electronic pop. Reminiscent of Felix Kubin's lighthearted approach to experimental music, Zimmerma...
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 LIFE WITH SQUIRRELS
A Local Hero Loses Some FriendsI had a pet guinea pig and a pet chinchilla and they both died within a year of each other. I wanted a new pet, and someone in a pet store told me that he'd heard about two baby squirrels up in the Bronx. Apparently some boys found them or got them one way or another, and one of them was given to a ...
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 VICE FASHION - THE TERRA COTTA INN
If you told me three years ago that I would have the most fun job in the world, that I would have a job where I could not wait to get to work and where I would hate to leave work, I would have laughed in your face....
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 GOD DAMNS IT
Why Scientists Are Pure EvilWhile most scientists are thrilling the shit out of us with string theories about the size of the universe and rocks that are about 80 million years old, there are still a select few that are using science for terrible, terrible things. The best example of this is a scary man named Dr. Richard A. Sc...
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 VICE PICTURES
Todd Forrest says: "This looks like a maple tree. Maple wood is
what they use for bowling alleys." Photo by Roe Ethridge...
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 BEHIND THE LOOKING ASS
Michelle Segre's Land of WonderImagine if Alice in Wonderland had been set somewhere between a drug-addled hippie version of the Arizona desert and Madame Toussaud's. Take one look at Michelle Segre's sculpture and, as if you'd just gone through the looking glass, there you are. An enormous cactus unfolds from a rocky, volcanic p...
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 SKINEMA
Big Natural Tits #9
Dir: Christoph Clark
Evilangel.com
Rating: 9...
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 BIGFOOT LIVES
The Final WordWith over 250 separate Sasquatch sightings in the past year, even the most cynical scientists are starting to ask themselves, "Was I right when I said that he doesn't exist?" They're also saying, "What about that old record The Bigfoot Recordings, A True High Sierra Wilderness Story, Narrated by Jon...
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 TIDBITS
A monthly look at things we love - v10n111 THE AFRICAN LUNGFISH
Don't know much about this one. It looks like some kind of eel. I'd imagine it eats small fishes and it probably moves super-fucking fast, like it could just snake around a tree all slinky and then whip away in a flash. When it is ready to die I bet it goes to a secret sp...
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 HIGH PARK
Acid vs. ShroomsIn the past two years, the tides have turned drastically in the world of recreational drugs. Boredom and unemployment have brought on a massive resurgence of acid and mushrooms....
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 THE VICE GUIDE TO SHIT
How often have you found yourself at some horrible family event having mind-numbing conversations with 300-pound behemoths about the minutiae of pregnancy and babies? If you listen closely you'll realize all their talk of the runs, abdominal pain, and relaxed deep-breathing techniques is, in essence...
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 THREESOMES BLOW
They're Just Not Natural–SorrySo you're lying on your back and two beautiful girls with waxed pussies are tending to your dink's every need. They are necking with each other and 69ing and one of them even has high heels on. You will be beating off about this moment for the next 40 years. Even some of your friends are going to to...
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 LEAF BEATS
Forest Nymphs Go DigitalYou've bought all our records, haven't you? We're Mileece, Anne Laplantine, Mira Calix, and Colleen. We're the new wave of laptop girls. We make music that sounds like plant cells dividing. And we're hot....
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 NATURE MAN
Tragedy Khadafi Talks to the TreesWe can rave all we want about the mind-numbing virtues of ignorant rap, but don't you miss the days when Jeru used to drop superscientifical madness? In his latest effort, Queensbridge's unsung hero Tragedy Khadafi finally finds the perfect balance between exotic gunplay and esoteric hip hop science...
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 INTERVIEW WITH A TREE
Evergreen Can't TalkHow beautiful of a thing is an evergreen tree? How much of an inspiration is a tree that manages to hang on to its chlorophyll-ed goodness even in the harshest heart of winter? Am I tripping? I'm sorry, I guess I just sometimes wish I could be an evergreen. I would be so proud and I would look prett...
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 DEAR VICE
Why Does The Rain Smell NiceLONDON FOG
Dear VICE,
Why don't you answer questions people really want to know the answer to? Like why does the rain smell nice in the country but bad in the city. Is it just because of dog shit? Can you explain that?...
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 BY DESIGN
Nature is invading graphic design. Artisans everywhere are busting out Grateful Dead CDs, growing their hair long, and reeking of patchouli oil. Possibly instigated by America's latest war, a.k.a Vietnam II, people are rebelling against "square" society by revisiting 60s visuals and techniques. Form...
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 NO BIRDS OR BITCHES
D Double E's Forest GateI come from a place in East LONDON called Forest Gate. When I say the name "forest gate" you may picture a scene of trees and nature and birds and streams, but it's not like that.
There's always been drama around here. Back in 1890, the Forest Lane School was the site of a tragic accident w...
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 CARROTS
The Vegetable Orchestra Have Banned BananasNikolaus Gansterer can't walk past a market stall without getting hot under the collar. If he catches sight of a good-looking, nicely-weighted carrot or a plump, near-ripe aubergine, he has to buy it before anyone else does. That's because Nikolaus is a member of Vienna's world-famous Vegetable Orch...
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 THE DEATH OF EARTH
Dylan Carlson's Blown ItWe'd love to tell you Dylan Carlson's decision to reform Earth with his girlfriend and embark on a European tour was definitely the right and natural thing to do but we can't.
Blame the methadone, but the recent shows of this once-mighty group were some of the most disastrous, pointless and...
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 STUFF THE MICE
Abattoir Makes Dead Animals BeautifulTaxidermists are considered weird with good reason. They disembowel and dress up dead kitty cats and puppies. That's how they voluntarily spend their time. Jewellery designer Julia Black, however, is not your stereotypical mule-skinner. Her innocence and style make the process oddly romantic and bea...
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 I WANT MY DVDS
Sex With Strangers, Battle Royale, Fighting Mad: XXX...
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 THE NAKED TRUTH
A Revealing Adventure in PerthEverybody knows that nudists are a bunch of senior citizens that front like they really want to play naked volleyball but actually have big wrinkled orgies when nobody else is looking. Nudist lifestyle brochures all show families with tanned flaccid asses holding hands in the woods, but you totally ...
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 HOW TO CATCH A NEW WAVE
The Disaster of Munich's MunkGermany is a fascist one-party state of unquestioning obedience, correct? It's in their blood, right? Wrong! Come on, that's just plain mean. Most Germans today would swim like a leipziger to avoid being associated with being all rules-y and bossy. So what's up with Munk (a.k.a. Mathias Modica and J...
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 THE CHEEK OF IT ALL
The Cops Are Coming For Your AssThe scene in Sydney has been bullshit for a while now. There hasn't been a good local rock n' roll band that we've been excited about for ages. However, with the emergence of The Cops, everyone had better prepare themselves for the first trans-Australian party phenomenon since the days that you only...
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