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If a girl is really right for you and you feel it in your bones you can say shit like, “You are so ‘my type’ it’s making my chest ache,” and it will work. Comments/Enlarge | See all



Picking up a girl who wears tons of make-up is a bummer because after spending all night getting her to come over, you wake up with fucked-up pillows and somebody you’ve never seen before.
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Look at this heap of humanity. She looks like a German bulldyke sat on a British confectionery.
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After buying this black-and-white Polaroid Land Camera at a garage sale for the Tidbits, we decided to package it up and send it to each of the subjects for this month’s issue. They’d get the camera, use one shot to photograph themselves, and then ship it to the next person. And so on and so on and so on until the whole issue was old-time-y portraits.


-4332

WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO

All We Want Is Life Beyond The Thunderdome

Put down your tube of BedHead and tell me how many people throughout history can you consider true "heroes"? A hundred? A thousand? Wrong. Science has proven that there have been literally millions of heroes throughout time and space. But of course the concept of what is heroic depends completely on...
-4331

BEATS AND RHYMES

A few years back an amazing record came out that not enough of you bought. It was an instrumental hip-hop record based on a water theme, and it was obviously created by someone who smokes a lot of weed. The dude's name is DJ Frane, and the record was Frane's Fantastic Boat Ride (or Beats to Blaze to...
-4330

FREE HOROWITZ

Winona Ryder Can Eat My Hairy Ass

When I first submitted this article, the editors sent it back saying, "Didn't you get into Judaism, like, an hour ago?" To which I responded, "Hmmm. Let me think about that."...
-4329

DEAR DIARY

Entry: January, 1995

January, 1995
Dear Diary,
Last night was so cool. Me and Kris Alexanderson went to Pure, got in for free, and met Stopher and his friend Tim. Then we went to Tim's house and put ourselves in a K hole....
-4328

AMERICAN HERO

Why Michael Moore Is a Gift From God

After watching timeless classics like Roger and Me, Bowling for Columbine, and Stupid White Men (is that a movie yet?), one thing becomes painfully obvious to my swelling heart: Michael Moore is magical. He is a blessed angel who came out of the skies and brought to us a kind of chubby justice that ...
-4327

ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE

Ok, so remember that track "Missy Queen's Gonna Die" from a couple of years back? I'm sure you know it cuz jocks are still playing the shit out of it. It's the one with the wickedly strong female vocal that wasn't all blasé Euro monotony, and it had a great verse/chorus that the Martini Bros. remix ...
-4326

I LOVE MYSELF, I THINK I'M GRAND

I Go to the Movies and Hold My Hand

I am my biggest inspiration. I strive to be like me. Truly, being me makes my life worth living. If I wake up feeling blue, all I have to do is look in the mirror, and there's me! There's my hair, my eyes...look, there's my whole freaking face! It's me. I'm me....
-4325

VICE FASHION - BEAUTY SCHOOL HEROES

Photos by Danielle Levitt...
-4324

MEXICAN HARDCORE

Catalina Knows No Borders

If I were a porn star I would want to be like Catalina. She is the unadulterated, uninhibited, inimitable queen of raunch! I first discovered her last week when my boyfriend rented All About Anal, Vol. 12 and we just sat there repeating, "Oh my fucking God" again and again. Catalina makes every othe...
-4323

VICE PICTURES

VICE pictures (of June's sweater collection) by Laura de Waal ...
-4322

TRANNIE SOCCER MOM

From Fake Tits to Kibbles and Bits

Liz Champion hawks videotapes on eBay, waxes her bikini line in the living room, and keeps house for her boyfriend, Don. On weekends they go out on his Honda Scout, attend Don's son's school events, fish, and go caving. It's the simple things that are making Liz happy these days....
-4321

TIDBITS

A monthly look at things we love - v10n10

JEFF STRYKER DOLL
Last month we wandered into a garage sale in New York's West Village, and holy shit, do the gays ever have cool stuff! Check it out-the faggot equivalent of John Holmes as a vintage GI Joe-size action figure. Some dude was selling it for $5, because "It's gross. ...
-4320

KILL HER, MOMMY!

Jackie Geronimo Protects Her Babies

Aspiring boxer Jackie Geronimo is truly a timeless heroic mother figure. You could kidnap this woman and her children, put them on a fancy time-traveling bicycle, and send them to the Paleolithic era with all those big lizard birds and cave people, and Jackie would say, "Whatevs" and just handle shi...
-4319

RED PANTS VS. RAPE

The Upside of Spoiled Brats

The two things I remember most clearly about my old roommate in Montreal are: (1) she had these red slacks she wore every day from first grade to fifth grade and (2) she was raped and (almost) murdered while hitchhiking in France....
-4318

CANCER KILLAH

Subzero's Singer Cheats Death –Twice

Subzero is one of those quintessential NYC bands like Madball and Sick of It All that goes back to the late 80s, when the LES was still scary. Unfortunately, in the past fifteen years, punk and hardcore have evolved into something even Kelly Osbourne and Good Charlotte can enjoy. The original bands ...
-4317

SURVIVING THE MID-PUNK CRISIS

Christine Boarts, Slug & Lettuce Prevail

Christine Boarts is the most friendly, polite, and cheerful crusty punk that you're ever likely to meet. She was the queen of NY's politically galvanized anarcho-punk scene, and for those who hung out at ABC No Rio in the era of Nausea, Born Against, and Rorschach, she was the punk rock crush du jou...
-4316

SQUEEZE ME

Temple Grandin Gives Cow Hugs

Animal Scientist Temple Grandin has autism. If your only knowledge of autism comes from Rain Man, then you need to get some facts straight. Dustin Hoffman played an autistic savant. Not all autistic people can memorize the phonebook overnight. (There are plenty of autistic savants around in the real...
-4315

FUCK OFF

Leave Cady Noland Alone

One of the most brilliant, highly influential, and endlessly ripped-off sculptors of the 80s/90s is someone you've never even heard of. Although Cady Noland has rarely exhibited over the past ten years, she looms large by reputation, and because of the mystery surrounding her self-imposed exile. Nol...
-4314

LIFE AS A WWII SPY

The Next Level of Nerd

Sometimes old people are so infinitely wise that every time they open their mouths to start a story you can be sure you'll shit yourself in awe. Mrs. Kendall Mackenzie is just such a senior citizen....
-4313

NUPURMANIA

A Spelling Bee Champ's Abstemious Ipseity

It's unequivocally insuppositious to assume an atypical zealous orthography student suffers from logorrhea or other such debilitating psychosomatic ecclesiasticalisms. Surely it's self-evident that eccentricity-wiccentries such as verbosityisms and synaciticallyisms are simply manifestiabiliyisms th...
-4312

SPINNING IN HER GRAVE

Zora Neale Hurston Hates Your Guts

If Zora Neale Hurston were alive today, she would hate your fucking guts. She would have no tolerance for your extraneous African headwrap and your reductivist "End Racism Now!" T-shirt. If she knew you had her book next to your bed she would pick it up (thereby knocking your Girlstown DVD to the fl...
-4311

ROCKER STALKER

Why Jenn Kitt Quit xBxRx

I'm in a band. And part of what comes with being in a band is dealing with creeps, losers, and stalkers (ask the Rapture about that-holy shit). Fortunately, I haven't dealt with many of them personally, but Jenn Kitt, a former bandmate of mine, almost went nuts because of it....
-4310

WHERE'S MZ. THANG?

The Forgotten Bitches of Bhouse

Baltimore house is as indigenous to the B'more/D.C. area as those faggy motorized scooters are to the diaper-wearing, wanna-be-gangtsa teens of New York's LES. But instead of making everyone laugh and point, the mid-Atlantic's take on house makes you want to throw strange men down on the filthy danc...
-4309

WHA'APPEN?

The Forgotten Bitches of Jamaica

Jamaica is music-nerd paradise. Not because this small island is responsible for a shocking number of consummate tunes you know and love, but because it birthed an equal amount of tunes that you-and thus your friends, colleagues, and others you'd like to one-up-don't yet know and love. The sheer vol...
-4308

DRUNK DAD

The Husbands Guarantee Fun

Sadie Shaw plays guitar and sings in the San Francisco garage punk band the Husbands. Last month she encountered a circumstance that would have sent a lesser woman into a paroxysm of man-battering. She and her then-boyfriend of nine years (another punk rock "personality") were casually looking at Fr...
-4307

STAY SOFT!

Sexy Men Try to Take Back the Night

Right now, somewhere in this "great" country of ours, a horrible fucking piece of shit is going down. It is a crime so horrible, so offensive and scary, it daren't speak its name. The crime is MAN ABUSE. Not gangbanging or Third World torture or any of that bullshit--we're talking about the unspeaka...
-4306

VICE FASHION - FAST FOOD GIRLS

Photos by Jamie-James Medina and James Pearson-Howes...
-4305

MY HAIR HEROINE

By Cronos From Venom

When I first formed Venom I tended to use natural Henna to dye my hair but these days I use anything I can get my hands on. Whatever the brand, I usually go for the deep red tone. I think it suits me.

I'm telling you this because one of the reasons I started to dye my hair was that my schoo...
-4304

GAMES

Manhunt

Manhunt
Publisher: Rockstar
Developer: Rockstar North
Platform: PS2
Genre: Snuff ...










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