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After buying this black-and-white Polaroid Land Camera at a garage sale for the Tidbits, we decided to package it up and send it to each of the subjects for this month’s issue. They’d get the camera, use one shot to photograph themselves, and then ship it to the next person. And so on and so on and so on until the whole issue was old-time-y portraits.
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 WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO
All We Want Is Life Beyond The Thunderdome
Put down your tube of BedHead and tell me how many people throughout history can you consider true "heroes"? A hundred? A thousand? Wrong. Science has proven that there have been literally millions of heroes throughout time and space. But of course the concept...READ MORE |
  BEATS AND RHYMES
A few years back an amazing record came out that not enough of you bought. It was an instrumental hip-hop record based on a water theme, and it was obviously created by someone who smokes a lot of weed. The dude's name is DJ Frane, and the record was Frane's F...READ MORE |
 FREE HOROWITZ
Winona Ryder Can Eat My Hairy Ass
When I first submitted this article, the editors sent it back saying, "Didn't you get into Judaism, like, an hour ago?" To which I responded, "Hmmm. Let me think about that."...READ MORE |
 DEAR DIARY
Entry: January, 1995
Dear Diary,
Last night was so cool. Me and Kris Alexanderson went to Pure, got in for free, and met Stopher and his friend Tim. Then we went to Tim's house and put ourselves in a K hole....READ MORE |
 AMERICAN HERO
Why Michael Moore Is a Gift From God
After watching timeless classics like Roger and Me, Bowling for Columbine, and Stupid White Men (is that a movie yet?), one thing becomes painfully obvious to my swelling heart: Michael Moore is magical. He is a blessed angel who came out of the skies and brou...READ MORE |
 ELECTRIC INDEPENDENCE
Ok, so remember that track "Missy Queen's Gonna Die" from a couple of years back? I'm sure you know it cuz jocks are still playing the shit out of it. It's the one with the wickedly strong female vocal that wasn't all blasé Euro monotony, and it had a great ve...READ MORE |
 I LOVE MYSELF, I THINK I'M GRAND
I Go to the Movies and Hold My Hand
I am my biggest inspiration. I strive to be like me. Truly, being me makes my life worth living. If I wake up feeling blue, all I have to do is look in the mirror, and there's me! There's my hair, my eyes...look, there's my whole freaking face! It's me. I'm me...READ MORE |
 MEXICAN HARDCORE
Catalina Knows No Borders
If I were a porn star I would want to be like Catalina. She is the unadulterated, uninhibited, inimitable queen of raunch! I first discovered her last week when my boyfriend rented All About Anal, Vol. 12 and we just sat there repeating, "Oh my fucking God" ag...READ MORE |
 TRANNIE SOCCER MOM
From Fake Tits to Kibbles and Bits
Liz Champion hawks videotapes on eBay, waxes her bikini line in the living room, and keeps house for her boyfriend, Don. On weekends they go out on his Honda Scout, attend Don's son's school events, fish, and go caving. It's the simple things that are making L...READ MORE |
 TIDBITS
A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Heroes Issue - Reader's Thrift Store Finds
JEFF STRYKER DOLL
Last month we wandered into a garage sale in New York's West Village, and holy shit, do the gays ever have cool stuff! Check it out-the faggot equivalent of John Holmes as a vintage GI Joe-size action figure. Some dude was selling...READ MORE |
 KILL HER, MOMMY!
Jackie Geronimo Protects Her Babies
Aspiring boxer Jackie Geronimo is truly a timeless heroic mother figure. You could kidnap this woman and her children, put them on a fancy time-traveling bicycle, and send them to the Paleolithic era with all those big lizard birds and cave people, and Jackie ...READ MORE |
 RED PANTS VS. RAPE
The Upside of Spoiled Brats
The two things I remember most clearly about my old roommate in Montreal are: (1) she had these red slacks she wore every day from first grade to fifth grade and (2) she was raped and (almost) murdered while hitchhiking in France....READ MORE |
 CANCER KILLAH
Subzero's Singer Cheats Death –Twice
Subzero is one of those quintessential NYC bands like Madball and Sick of It All that goes back to the late 80s, when the LES was still scary. Unfortunately, in the past fifteen years, punk and hardcore have evolved into something even Kelly Osbourne and Good ...READ MORE |
 SURVIVING THE MID-PUNK CRISIS
Christine Boarts, Slug & Lettuce Prevail
Christine Boarts is the most friendly, polite, and cheerful crusty punk that you're ever likely to meet. She was the queen of NY's politically galvanized anarcho-punk scene, and for those who hung out at ABC No Rio in the era of Nausea, Born Against, and Rorsc...READ MORE |
 SQUEEZE ME
Temple Grandin Gives Cow Hugs
Animal Scientist Temple Grandin has autism. If your only knowledge of autism comes from Rain Man, then you need to get some facts straight. Dustin Hoffman played an autistic savant. Not all autistic people can memorize the phonebook overnight. (There are plent...READ MORE |
 FUCK OFF
Leave Cady Noland Alone
One of the most brilliant, highly influential, and endlessly ripped-off sculptors of the 80s/90s is someone you've never even heard of. Although Cady Noland has rarely exhibited over the past ten years, she looms large by reputation, and because of the mystery...READ MORE |
 LIFE AS A WWII SPY
The Next Level of Nerd
Sometimes old people are so infinitely wise that every time they open their mouths to start a story you can be sure you'll shit yourself in awe. Mrs. Kendall Mackenzie is just such a senior citizen....READ MORE |
 NUPURMANIA
A Spelling Bee Champ's Abstemious Ipseity
It's unequivocally insuppositious to assume an atypical zealous orthography student suffers from logorrhea or other such debilitating psychosomatic ecclesiasticalisms. Surely it's self-evident that eccentricity-wiccentries such as verbosityisms and synacitical...READ MORE |
 SPINNING IN HER GRAVE
Zora Neale Hurston Hates Your Guts
If Zora Neale Hurston were alive today, she would hate your fucking guts. She would have no tolerance for your extraneous African headwrap and your reductivist "End Racism Now!" T-shirt. If she knew you had her book next to your bed she would pick it up (there...READ MORE |
 ROCKER STALKER
Why Jenn Kitt Quit xBxRx
I'm in a band. And part of what comes with being in a band is dealing with creeps, losers, and stalkers (ask the Rapture about that-holy shit). Fortunately, I haven't dealt with many of them personally, but Jenn Kitt, a former bandmate of mine, almost went nut...READ MORE |
 WHERE'S MZ. THANG?
The Forgotten Bitches of Bhouse
Baltimore house is as indigenous to the B'more/D.C. area as those faggy motorized scooters are to the diaper-wearing, wanna-be-gangtsa teens of New York's LES. But instead of making everyone laugh and point, the mid-Atlantic's take on house makes you want to t...READ MORE |
 WHA'APPEN?
The Forgotten Bitches of Jamaica
Jamaica is music-nerd paradise. Not because this small island is responsible for a shocking number of consummate tunes you know and love, but because it birthed an equal amount of tunes that you-and thus your friends, colleagues, and others you'd like to one-u...READ MORE |
 DRUNK DAD
The Husbands Guarantee Fun
Sadie Shaw plays guitar and sings in the San Francisco garage punk band the Husbands. Last month she encountered a circumstance that would have sent a lesser woman into a paroxysm of man-battering. She and her then-boyfriend of nine years (another punk rock "p...READ MORE |
 STAY SOFT!
Sexy Men Try to Take Back the Night
Right now, somewhere in this "great" country of ours, a horrible fucking piece of shit is going down. It is a crime so horrible, so offensive and scary, it daren't speak its name. The crime is MAN ABUSE. Not gangbanging or Third World torture or any of that bu...READ MORE |
 MY HAIR HEROINE
By Cronos From Venom
When I first formed Venom I tended to use natural Henna to dye my hair but these days I use anything I can get my hands on. Whatever the brand, I usually go for the deep red tone. I think it suits me.
I'm telling you this because one of the reasons I ...READ MORE |
 GAMES
Manhunt
MANHUNT
If you’re one of those casual Rockstar Games fans expecting the instant thrills and multiple explosions of death and tits that the GTA series delivers, then initially you’re going to be a little disappointed at their new one. Wait! I said “...READ MORE |
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