NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

When you see girls all flighty and delicate like Tinkerbell you just want to split them in half with your cock. Sounds harsh but it’s been working pretty well for both sides since the year -47,994.
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As you can see, understanding the basic elements of design is crucial to a good look. Of course, the former does not guarantee the latter as can be seen with the brown-nyloned Japanese and the socks-and-sandalled Germans.
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Dear VICE,

CELEBRITY LETTERSEverybody has problems but as a celebrity it’s really hard to live under a microscope. I never used to want to disappoint anyone, but if you start off like that as a young artist and record companies see that you’re willing to do an album a year, they’ll milk you dry. It’s the nature of the job. And last year I was burning the candle—forget both ends—basically it was just the wick left! So I’ve changed the way I live my life now. If I need to take a break, have some fun, take a nap, I’ll do it and I’m very happy.

Before my father died of cancer last year, he said to me, “There’s only so many really happy moments in life, and I feel that we have shared most of those together.” It was an amazing thing to say but I don’t know if he had that much fun. So for me life should be a party when it can be. No matter what happens, you have to turn a negative into a positive and press on. A lot of people don’t realize that I have a sense of humor, but laughter is what gets me through. We only have so long.

MARIAH
CAREY
R&B singer