ARTICLES BY LESLEY ARFIN
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 LITERARY
Book Reviews - The Boyfriends And Girlfriends IssueSKINEMA
Last month Lesley Arfin interrogated Chris Nieratko about his new book, Skinema, and other heady topics including the human genome, colony collapse disorder in...
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  LITERARY
Book Reviews - The Noxious Fumes IssueSKINEMA
Since we’re putting out compilations of both their columns in the next two months, we thought it’d be cute to have Skinema scribe Chris Nieratko and Dear Diary firecracker...
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 SO, AHAB, CAN I BUM MY DOOBAGE?
Movies That Made Us Wanna Do Drugs Before We Ever Did DrugsFor tween girls in the 80s, there were two pivotal books you had to read: Forever by Judy Blume and Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (ooh, anonymous! You just knew it was going to be good). Forever taught you about sex—mostly that it is normal for boys to name their penises “Ralph.” And Go Ask Alice...
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 THE VICE GUIDE TO GIRLS
It's fun to be a girl. We get to giggle and cry and throw hissy fits and keep diaries and bleed out of our vaginas and care about stuff and we don't have to feel like a fag about it. We even get to vote, hooray! Sometimes we forget to though. Sorry, Susan B. Anthony!...
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 AND THEY RODE ON IN THE FRISCALATING DUSKLIGHT:
Amy And Lesley's Guide To FictionOh, so fiction is a waste of time that doesn't teach you anything? Really? Well how about a little piece of fiction called THE BIBLE. Doesn't seem so silly now, does it? Fiction may not be facts but it can still teach you plenty. Sure, it's "escapist" but so are movies, and you like those, right? On...
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 RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS
Life With the NYPDYou know what it's like to be a cop? It's boring. All you do is drive around all day and occasionally go listen to some shitty liar tell you a cockamamie story about what just happened. Then you get back into the car and drive some more. If you're lucky the monotony is broken up by a meal. If you're...
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 IDLE HANDS
Make Cool Shit Like ThisGoing to jail in Durango, Mexico is easy l.i.v.i.n. It's actually not even really punishment at all, which makes one wonder how a handful of murderers, drugs dealers, rapists, child molesters, and petty thieves can ever get rehabilitated. Guess what? They can't. They go to jail for whatever reason, ...
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 LESLEY ARFIN'S TIDBITS
A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Travel IssueHere are some of the volumes that I mine for "Dear Diary" material. These are all the best-looking ones. Most of the others are just marble notebooks with weird scrawlings on them that even I can't read....
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: November 1994November 1994
Dear Diary,
Last night was Halloween but I didn't do anything. I stayed home to give out candy but nobody really came to our door. Supposedly there was a fight at Barry Lane...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: 1991Joey Dipollo came to our school to talk about AIDS. He was so cute. Me and Mia got his phone number. I feel so terrible when I really should feel happy. I fooled around with Blake (1st) and Kris H. (2nd). Now I have to choose??? Tragedy and happiness always seem to come to me in the most bitter ways...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: January 1994Jessie's Dog, Ralph, died and I feel so sad for her. It just reminds me of the whole RT episode and how the more I think about it, the more I think RT is such a cruel person. It makes me see how that whole scene is so hypocritical and everyone just kisses RT's ass. Everyone thought Jessie was so evi...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: February 1993I went to the Roxy and met this kid Mike Rubin. He's the drummer for the Warped Weeble Wobbles. He is the greatest. A sophomore at BU and the smartest kid. I cut my hair. My life is so boring. I'm just waiting for something to happen. If something doesn't happen soon I'm going to kill myself or lose...
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 THE VICE GUIDE TO REHAB
A good rehab is essentially an anarchist socialist commune with one rule: Don't get high. There are no cops, no bureaucrats and no squares hassling you about riding your machine. The people there come from every class and social stratum. There're doctors (I actually referred my own dentist to a reha...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: 1992Dear Diary,
So now everyone hates me and I'm BFF with Marcie and Marissa. Marissa was ranking Sheryl out and then Sheryl called here and MY MOM ranked her out! So now I'm kinda scared to go to school. Marcie invited me to her beach party and I'll probably wear my crushed velvet bathing suit but...
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 DEAR DIARY
Entry: 9/11/2001Dear Diary,
Today four Palestinian's hijacked US airplanes. Two went straight into The Twin Towers, one into the Pentagon, and one got shot down or something. New York City is chaotic. Everything is shut down. World Trade Center is gone. I saw a million people walking across the Williamsburg Br...
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