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DOS & DON'TS

Chemical castration for pedophiles, yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we please start talking about what the punishment will be for the people who went to see I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell instead? Comments/Enlarge | See all


This either belongs to a Young Adult author whose work combines ghost stories with military technothrillers or a rich, Mediterranean manchild whose DNA combines four or five Y chromosomes with the gene for being really stupid. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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ARTICLES BY JAIMIE HODGSON


TOOT! PARP! GGGHHZZZNN MMMSSSCCCK!

Inventor Claims the Eigenharp Is the Future of All Music

The Eigenharp is the ultimate synth-geek fantasy made real. It resembles what Rick Wakeman might’ve ended up playing if JG Ballard had directed one of his Journey to the Centre of the Earth -era promo videos. But in its capabilities, there is no doubt that it far outstrips any electronic instrument that’s gone before...

SAME OLD BULLSHIT

Raekwon Keeps Us Waiting For Two Days, Then Talks About Cakes

This magazine used to be well known for interviews with big-name American rappers. Back when Dave 1 from Chromeo was still writing for us every month we had scoops like Eminem’s first ever interview, Ol’ Dirty’s last ever interview, Lil’ Kim shot by Terry Richardson and Fat Joe walking us around the Bronx. 50 Cent talked to us about “How to Rob” three years before most people had heard of him, Benzino threatened to kill us...

A-TOWN REP-RAZENT!

When Bradford Met Soulja Boy (Briefly)

Sorry, jaded white guy who professes to like rap music but can't remember the other guy's name out of Mobb Deep, but we love Soulja Boy. Since when did rap music being fun and goofy again become a bad thing? Ah yes, since out-of-touch old men like Ice-T and GZA started getting all grumpy about their...

EXPLOSIVE MENTAL IMAGES

Times New Viking Sounds Like Shitting in a Tin Can

If you've entered 2008 feeling somewhat underwelmed by the crop of new bands on the cards, you may at least find some solace in the fact that you're definitely not alone. While the past few years have hardly thrown up a succession of life-changing masterpieces that our grandchildren will eventually ...

LITERARY

Book Reviews - The The 4-ACO-DMT Issue

25 POEMS, 3 RECIPES AND 32 OTHER SUGGESTIONS (AN INVENTORY)
You could be forgiven for feeling a little let down with London’s current crop of DIY punk activity. Alternative comedy, however, although roughly the same age as punk...

FRAT ATTACK

Vampire Weekend Graduate to Real Band Status

It has always blown my mind how the US college basketball teams manage to get crowds of squillions of people and have like their own trading cards and stuff. My college football team found it hard getting the coach to turn up to matches. But I guess it's partly just indicative of the amount of megab...

TERRIFIC TEENAGERS

From the Couture Capital

You know those bands that are so amazing that the only thing you can do is turn into a fanatic young girl, undress and write "I Love The Teenagers" with pink fluo pens all over your body? No? Obviously, you haven't heard The Teenagers yet, because that's what the rest of the world has been doing. Ju...

HATED IN THE NATION

Why Everybody Wants To Burn Gallows

Gallows are the most fashionable and most hated hardcore band in the country. It doesn't take a genius to work that these two accolades may be related. It is a plain fact that it's impossible for any hardcore group to endure any amount of trendiness outside their circle of peers without being subjec...

GO WITH THE FLOW

Apache Beat's Menstrual Music

Right now, New York bands come in two flavours. There's the Brooklyn groups that all have Neanderthal beards, plaid shirts and want to sound like Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. Then there's the angel-faced Manhattan pixies that want to sound like The Virgins; the bitch and the butch, if you like. Apache ...

AY AY AY!

Cops is Always Hassling Bonde do Role

Now all the rich trendy white kids have tired of grime, it's time to introduce another exotic new fad for them to obsess over. How about the sound of Brazil's favelas, a smut-obsessed concoction of electro dubs, booty bass and Brazilian "bandit" yelping? All right. For some reason, everyone in the U...

RA-RA RASPUTIN

Is The Favourite Sons' Favourite Russian

The Favourite Sons are the reason Ken Griffith isn't currently mopping vomit off the floor of a Brooklyn drinking hole. After Irish noise-pop demi-gods Rollerskate Skinny split in 1997 he decided to have one last go with Kid Silver before opting to live out his remaining years polishing glasses, get...

SUPERMARKET SWEET

Damn Arms Go Nuts for Tesco

Melbourne's greasy electro-punk geeks Damn Arms are the latest in a deluge of bands to arrive in the UK from Down Under who look set to put Aussie rock right back on the international rock map (Jet were a joke, right?). Back home, where it's sunny, cheap to live, the food's incredible and everyone's...

TOP ONE NICE ONE

Klaxons Get Sorted

In between the hordes of urchins parading around in Dick Van Dyke's hand-me-downs, crowding new British music like Fagin's gang, it's easy to lose sight of one Britain's most authentic musical institutions: rave. While new British guitar music is not short on homage right now, the world of rave has ...

NOTHING NEW

The Older the Better for By The Fireside

Talk about double standards: UK rappers are always being crucified for copying the Yanks, but 24-year-old Americana nut Dan Lea gets away with it with ease. As By The Fireside, he's part of a new breed of British songwriter completely obsessed with the most retarded bits of American culture. His mus...

MUM'S THE WORD

The Young Knives Leave Home

When you start a band, the most important people you have to convince are your parents. No one admits that but it's true. From the start, they're the ones who have to pay for your guitars and beer and ferry you to and from rehearsals. Even worse, they have to constantly make up stories about your "r...

DON'T MUCK ABOUT

Mitchell Bros Stand Up For Britain

Stupid animalistic behaviour almost fucked up the Mitchell Brothers' career. After mugging Mike Skinner for his phone number at a cash point, Teddy Mitchell got pissed and forgot to retrieve his mobile from the hands of a woman he was trying to shag in The Ten Rooms. Then Mike got drunk in his Stock...