What the fuck are you glowering about? If that sexball let me put my freckly hands all over her person I'd be doing dances with her that make Skeritt Boy look like a tree-sloth who hates sex, not getting into staring problems with every other guy in the room. I guess heavy hangs the face that wears the tits.Comments/Enlarge |
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Waiting out your girlfriend’s straight-edge phase is so nerve-racking it’s like trying to get to sleep the night before Sexmas.Comments/Enlarge |
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Yesterday (I write this on 6 November 2006) I was handed my verdict in a trial that to me was more of a circus than anything else. I am not surprised by how things turned out. I knew the second I walked into that courtroom that no one was going to listen to me...
Apples should be illegal. What a terrible food. They never satisfy your hunger and they make way too much noise. Have you ever heard someone bite into an apple? It's disgusting. It sounds like a tree is falling inside someone's skull. Also, people look smug when they eat an apple. Like, "Ah, you kno...
I recently saw a flier in my building announcing the death of one of the tenants. It was an open invitation for people to gather and "celebrate her life with stories, music, and prayer." Sickening. When did death become such a hippie fest? When I die, I want my funeral to be a truly terrifying exper...
