ARTICLES BY CLARENCE STATELY-HOLMES
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 GRIMEWATCH
So Wiley has decided to retire. We hinted at this a while back when we said he would be moving to New York, so it’s no big surprise for us. Maybe it was Footsie trying to rush him which finally pushed him over the edge. Who knows? All we can be sure of right now is that Roll Deep’s new mixtape, Rules & Regulations, is the best grime mixtape ever made, as we’ve been predicting since we first heard sneak previews last summer. We know Danny Weed has been locked away in the studio pretty much every day for the last couple of months trying to get it...
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  GRIMEWATCH
Girls and grime don't mix so well. So to adequately prepare for this month's column I decided it was necessary to do a little research in the form of a date....
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 GRIMEWATCH
It seems everyone in grime is busy getting ready for the arrival of Father Christmas, so there's not much happening right now....
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 GRIMEWATCH
For this issue, Grimewatch jumped on the back of a stolen Mini Moto and rode all the way up the motorway without a helmet to the city of Nottingham to see what the local grime scene had to say. Nottingham isn't particularly well known for grime. They talk kinda funny up there, so not many MCs are po...
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 GRIMEWATCH
Wow. Where do we start? A lot has happened since the last Grimewatch update. So much in fact that we don’t have time to talk about Mercston getting put on a lengthy lockdown following an incident with a 15-year-old girl at the Prince’s Trust music festival. Also involved was a DJ from one of our fav...
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 GRIMEWATCH
You should all be happy to know that Scorcher, the finest MC the grime scene has ever produced (in our opinion) has been released from jail and is currently on road working on his debut album....
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 GRIMEWATCH
Grime is officially dead (according to a thread on the Dissensus message board), so we've finally decided to take Matt Mason's advice and have spent the last few months undercover as a hairdresser called Paul in south London's funky house scene. As always, we're late on this, but it seems that after...
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 FUCK KATRINA
DJ Chicken Does DallasHurricane Katrina was a total disaster and everything but for some of the people of New Orleans' projects, who are used to dodging bullets while slanging yay and shocking out to jittery 808 beats and O.T.T. synth-driven hip-hop, Katrina was nothing. In fact, the misfortune has helped the local bounc...
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 GRIMEWATCH
When we're not scouring message boards for mentions of Vice or posting MP3s on the RWD forum, we here at Grimewatch keep busy surfing Rupert Murdoch's proverbial slut-fest, MySpace. This place is now the unofficial calling card for every top producer and MC in the game...
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 GRIMEWATCH
Do you remember a couple of years back when Maxwell D sold a story to the tabloids about going dogging with Jamelia? Well, tell New Nation to hold the front pages, because I've just been on a date with MC Shystie...
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 GRIMEWATCH
Grimewatch didn't appear last month, but don't freak out, we were only taking a break. In all honesty, we asked one of the grime kids to give us their tidbits and it came back a week late as "Weed, Blank CDs, Cold Drink..." and it just wasn't that funny, so we'll leave it to the online bloggers to p...
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 GRIMEWATCH
We're not sure how long we can keep this page going if something doesn't happen soon. If you don't live in London and have been reading about grime through internet blogs, you've probably got it twist...
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 THE DARKEST WHITE BOY
Skream Raises HellDespite our constant support and coverage of grime we still get criticised for focusing on the more aggressive (interesting) aspects of the scene, while ignoring its cousin, dubstep (which is kind of like dark, spaced-out grime with lots of sub bass and no vocals). This may be because up until now, ...
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 GRIMEWATCH
Ok, so the MOBOs hate black people. Well, not black people, but Roll Deep who weren’t even invited to the awards show. Maybe next year their record label could pay £30,000 for an old stage set of Fat Sam’s Speakeasy from Bugsy Malone and they could perform and win. One idea we had was that Relentles...
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