You’d think that a harsh chemical perm and three hours in a tanning bed would do at least a little damage to a zombie’s tender, rotting flesh. But nope.Comments/Enlarge |
See all
It’s hard to call out your friends on their bullshit without it seeming like a joke, but if one of them is turning into a serious, self-important asshole it's vital to figure out a way to slip him the news.Comments/Enlarge |
See all
My body is my temple, though others now might refer to me as "damaged goods" due to my fight with cancer and the treatments and surgeries I've endured. I am undesirable to some because my body looks like a road map of the US. Others want to fuck me because they think I'm a freak. I no longer have real breasts, and the ones the surgeons sculpted for me are dismal replacements. There are also those who want to have sympathy sex with me. They feel sorry for me and feel ...
There are people in the funeral industry who really piss me off. First they try to guilt trip you into spending more money than you have for a royal send off. If you can't afford the Cadillac funeral, they try to make you feel like you're a cheap son of a bitch. I'd be happy if you all just recycle me as a Domino's pizza when I go.
Everyone is supposed to plan for death. Do you know what color your underwear will be when they put you six feet under? ...
I hate doctors.
When I first got diagnosed with breast cancer, I immediately went on the internet. I was not going to be passive like my mother was when she got breast cancer; she just threw up her hands and said, "Do whatever you need to do." I want to know what they're doing to me, why they'r...
