ARTICLES BY SYRUP DAVIES
|
 VIDEO GAMES KILLED THE RADIO STAR
Games Reviews - The Harvester of Sorrow IssueCALL OF DUTY 4: MODERN WARFARE
Let’s get one thing straight right from the start here: I am a total, utter, disgusting Call of Duty 3 addict. I slip on that Xbox 360 headset, log on to a multiplayer game...
|
|
|
  GAMES
Games Reviews - The Tidbits IssueSHADOW THE HEDGEHOG
The doctor told me to stop playing computer games in 1999 because he said a lot of the games brought on my epilepsy and I’d just blackout if the graphics got too freaky...
|
|
|
 GAMES
THE WARRIORS
The Warriors is one of those movies so goddamned steeped in “cult cred” that you can’t help but wonder how many of its legion purportedly die-hard fans have actually loved it for as long as they say and how many are on Netflix right now trying to cover up for years of...
|
|
|
 GAMES
RESIDENT EVIL 4
When did video games start to get good again? All year I’ve been pissing away my life playing shit like Gran Tursimo 89, Gloria Hunniford’s Happy Shopper 5 and Sandy Lyle’s Extreme Golf Wars then being all miserable and moaning about them in this column...
|
|
|
 GAMES
SID MEIER'S PIRATES
The burning question when playing this game isn’t how pretty are the graphics are or how slick the sound is. It’s just who the fuck is Sid Meier and how did he have the balls to put his name in the title? And a video game about pirates? The only reason you name someth...
|
|
|
 GAMES
GOD OF WAR
Considering the dictionary definition of the word “fantasy” is: “imagination unrestricted by reality”, isn’t it depressing how most “fantasy” games are the most unimaginative and restricted pieces of poo-poo and pee-pee in the universe? The developers are liars and thieves who...
|
|
|
 GAMES
DESTROY ALL HUMANS
As well as great things like experimental bisexuality, funk metal, Prodigy and dreadlocked beards, the early 90s were halcyon days for UF0-spotting and alien abduction...
|
|
|
 GAMES
MIDNIGHT CLUB 3: DUB EDITION
Growing up in a small town on the borders of Liverpool was boring. If you didn’t have a car or a friend with a car, your life was restricted to drinking in the park, sniffing glue and fighting with the same people every week. Even things like being beaten up ...
|
|
|
 GAMES
GOLDENEYE: ROGUE AGENT
Now that anti-hero games sell more than good vs evil games, the new special Goldeneye gives you the chance to play as James Bond’s most popular enemies. I can’t help but thinking that the reason why they made this move is because the next 007 is going to be fucking...
|
|
|
 GAMES
MORTAL KOMBAT: DECEPTION
Fuck PC-quality graphics and the “taste and smell” extension that X-Box are secretly developing for their release of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas because the best new innovations that video game companies are designing are the ones that eliminate any chance what...
|
|
|
 GAMES
GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS
The new Tony Hawk's Underground 2 is pretty good but all the hateful extra features are totally superfluous to the action. Things like being able to spray graffiti on walls and play as Steve-O on a bucking bronco machine are unnecessary, annoying and gay. Th...
|
|
|
 GAMES
SHELLSHOCK: NAM '67
In Shellshock: Nam '67, Eidos have tried to tackle the topic of the Vietnam War in video game format. This is no small task, and the list of failed films, books and music can attest to this. In this essay, I will explain why...
|
|
|
 GAMES
SMASHED
I don't understand games that strive to reflect the total fucking banality and pointlessness of real life...
|
|
|
 GAMES
RED DEAD REVOLVER
We all love Ennio Morricone right? But can anybody really put their hand on their heart and say they've watched ANY spaghetti western more than twice in their whole lives?
Unless you live in one of those space/time continuum bubbles that NASA is spending billions...
|
|
|
 GAMES
TRANSFORMERS
Apart from Megatron being this weird gun thing that didn't really work as a toy, the evil Decepticons were so much better than the mummy's boy Autobots. Bad guys like Starscream (misanthropic, assassin jet) and Soundwave (you could play a tape in his chest), introduced lots ...
|
|
|
 GAMES
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: OPERATION SURMA
Despite the excellent Manhunt being a game where you play a muscled guy in a vest who gropes other muscled guys in vests in alleyways, nobody has actually pointed out that the whole "stealth" genre may be a training tool/masturbation aid for in-the-cl...
|
|
|
 GAMES
MANHUNT
If you’re one of those casual Rockstar Games fans expecting the instant thrills and multiple explosions of death and tits that the GTA series delivers, then initially you’re going to be a little disappointed at their new one. Wait! I said “initially”, because although there’s no ...
|
|
|
 GAMES
TRUE CRIME: STREETS OF L.A.
Why do magazines still talk about computer games being “breathtaking” and “stunning”? What? Are you REALLY saying that the intro movie to your new war combat game REALLY looks like the beginning of Saving Private Ryan? Have you got some weird reality filter in...
|
|
|
 GAMES
TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 2004
I hate golf and I don’t even particularly like video games but about four years ago, on a drunken whim, I bought the first PS2 Tiger Woods game. What an idiot, right?
I mean, even the design on the box was so boring it took me about six months to actually p...
|
|
|
|
|
| |
