NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

Look, it’s been a long week. If you need me I’ll be down at the park having a couple Buds with Professor Barnabus P. Galaxicon and his Splendiferous Brain-O-Scope. Comments/Enlarge | See all


Grad school types and religious assholes want to convince us that assimilation is mean and racist and makes immigrants betray their cultural roots, but what if they're just really psyched to live somewhere that isn't an abject shithole? Comments/Enlarge | See all






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ARTICLES BY SEBASTIEN GRAINGER


MY FIRST WANK

Sebastian from DFA 1979 Comes Clean

The very first time I masturbated was probably the most shameful day of my life. I was eleven and my parents had left me home alone for the afternoon. I had all this energy and I didn't know why. I rode my bike to this construction site and wandered around kicking over stacks of 2x4s and throwing rocks. I picked up this big piece of sheet rock and threw it down onto a spray paint can, which split and covered me in fluorescent pink paint....