ARTICLES BY PRANCEHALL
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 FOUR NEW GRIME KIDS
Grime is going through a bit of a make-or-break period right now. Most of the better MCs have long given up trying to be grimey and are now doing pop songs with 80s revivalists and covering the Ting Tings (Dizzee) or taking their shirts off in videos and wearing chains and diamonds so fake they look like the ones that kids wear for a joke at fancy dress parties (Tinchy). Let's not even mention aspiring kids' TV presenter Skepta and his new best mate Timmy Mallett...
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  PRANCEHALL
I was walking down the street the other day when I had an epiphany. I turned to my reflection in a nearby shop window and said, "Hey, you know what? There's more to the world than just UrBaN Mu$iC in that Do It! column." In celebration of this sign from heaven, I am now going to be using this precious space in Vice to also write about lots of other interesting things, like animals, people and popular culture, with some side-splittingly hilarious anecdotes thrown in for good...
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 DO IT!
Back in my university days, I luckily had one musical ally in the form of my housemate Jack. I'd spend all day looking out of the window at next door's cat sunning itself on our tin garden shed roof and Jack would often come up, swing open the door, bang on one of his grime 12"s (DJ Eastwood and Odd...
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 LOCKED OFF
Dexplicit is Too PopularPeople still try to make out that grime is based in three highrise blocks in Bow, when in reality other parts of London, particularly north, are home to a lot of the more productive MCs such as Chipmunk, Skepta, JME, Scorcher etc. The same goes for bassline. Journalists would have you believe that a...
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 DO IT!
UK urban music is in the best state it's been in for a decade. Ten-year-old girls are throwing their Bratz dolls out the window and breakdancing in their wheelie shoes when a bassline tune comes on daytime radio....
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 DO IT!
I was in the Russian Bar on Kingsland Road ONE recent chilly January night for some after hours drinking. As the mist gathered down outside, I became acquainted with a young Polish girl who told me tales of a new type of music called crunkczar coming from her homeland. Her name was Milene Karalowski...
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 DO IT!
Since bassline isn’t coming to London anytime soon, when a film Easychord shot got accepted into the Sheffield Film Festival late last year, we decided to head up to South Yorkshire the weekend of the festival to check out a bassline rave first hand. Stepping off the coach the first thing you notice...
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 GULLY-SIDAL TENDENCIES
Mavado's a Gangster For Life (Ad Nauseum)Mavado is the best thing to have happened to dancehall in years. He has the premier new catchphrases ("Anywaaaaayeeeeeee" and "Gangster for liiiife"), if you look into his eyes you'd swear it was the devil looking back at you, and his debut album is a dark, intense masterpiece. He came over to Londo...
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 DO IT!
I was going through some CDs t’other day and I found a grime compilation that my friend Matthew made for me at the end of 2003. What a great time for music it truly was. The best of times, the worst of times. Oh sorry, we’re talking about grime here. Erm, it was the nangest of times, the aggiest of ...
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 LEEDS GARAGE
T2 Likes Terminator 2, StillIf you’re a teenager living in a council estate anywhere north of Grimsby, you won’t be spending your weekends at home practicing WCW wrestling moves on your terrified cat, smoking weed, and listening to Ghetto’s new mixtape. No, instead the chances are you’ll be riding in your 1992 Ford Fiesta down...
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 UPSET EVERY SECOND
Durrty Goodz is Fresh Out of JailThere is only one MC who has ever beaten Wiley in a clash and that is Waltham Forest’s Durrty Goodz. Three or so years ago when the hunt was on to find out if the success of Dizzee Rascal wasn’t just a fluke, he looked like the most likely candidate to hop on the major label love-’...
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 DO IT!
We couldn’t make it to the MOBOs this year. We didn’t go last year either. In fact, we’ve never been. The MOBOs are shit. They represent a large chunk of what is wrong with the world today. Okay, that’s not true, but they could have at least chucked something to a grime MC to give the scene a litt...
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 DO IT!
Logan Sama's grime show on Kiss FM is now getting almost more listeners in London on a Monday night than its closest two rivals, Radio 1 and Choice FM, put together...
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 DO IT!
For this issue, we spent three weeks living in the back of a Ford Nova parked behind a skip in a Derby council estate in an attempt to fully infiltrate the niche/bassline house/bassline garage scene. During the day, we grafted away in a tyre factory, and at night we sniffed glue and held parties in ...
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 ON THE TRAIL OF FISHSCALE
Plastic Little Can't Find Any in PhillyIt's pretty gay (and very, very lazy) when people write an intro to a piece that is basically the highlights of the interview rewritten in a few lines. Therefore, I totally refuse to mention anything I talked about when I interviewed Philadelphia's second hottest rap group, Plastic Little, who sound...
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 DO IT!
Hi “friends”. The best grime story we heard this month was from one of our photographer pals. He stumbled across Skepta at Stansted airport on the way to Israel, who was having the contents of his baggage emptied by security. He spotted a bowler hat, a My Pet Monster toy, strawberry-flavoured condom...
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 DO IT!
We're just back from Jamaica where VBS filmed a massive dancehall documentary. We spoke to literally everyone. On the first day we met Sizzla in his fortified compound called Judgement Yard, where he lives with about forty guys that just spend all day smoking weed. It’s this huge canyon where he gre...
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 FIFTEEN NUTS IN TWO DAYS
Trim Busts Out Of Roll DeepGetting off the DLR in the concrete carbuncle that is the Isle of Dogs, it hits you how dull and uninspiring the poorer parts of east London really are. It’s surprising that people can even motivate themselves to stumble out of bed in the mornings. You’d expect the place to be filled with schizophre...
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 DO IT!
We’re not doing a whole column on grime music anymore. We’re still going to let you know the important stuff like what hair products Jammer is currently using or Logan Sama’s favourite new wrestling move, but we’re not going to dedicate a whole page to just this. Instead we will tell you about lots ...
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 VICE RECOMMENDS
Before we start, let's just point out that the aim of this column is to tell you about music videos that you can watch using a computer or whatever you use to connect to the internet. Since some of you have been unable to fully comprehend this previously, we're sure you won't be able to competently ...
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