NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

It takes years of practice to pull "street fighting alcoholic old guy" with dignity but he's nailed it, right down to his freshly peed pants. Comments/Enlarge | See all


If you're a psychotic murderer who needs to dispose of body parts across town, dressing up as a Godspell unicycle mime on his way to work is a surprisingly good option. The unicycle case will fit the average-sized kid and people tend to assume the smell is just coming from you. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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ARTICLES BY MATT MASON


GRIMEWATCH

Grimewatch Special: How to make your own grime magazine!
RULE NUMBER 1:
DON’T HIRE ANY ‘GRIME JOURNALISTS’
I’m not saying that there aren’t any good music journalists covering grime. It’s just it sounds more real coming from those who live and breathe the scene, rather than some wanker who just downloaded Run The Roads and was listening to electroclash last week. Employ artists and anyone actually involved in grime. They have more authority on the subject and will write better articles. Like Capo who makes Lord of Th...

TALIBAN HEROIN

Roll Deep Can Get Rid Of It

With American troops busy blowing up Afghan weddings based on I.P.L. (Incriminating Pocket Litter-an official excuse given by American Intelligence), an International Narcotics Control Strategy report last year claimed the area of land used to cultivate opium in Afghanistan has reached 30, 750 hectares, compared with 1,685 hectares in 2001. That's enough to supply the UK drug trade for the next ten years. ...

OUT THERE

Just in case you haven't heard, grime music fucking rules England now and is soon to be huge in America. We were on it before anyone else over here, so we figured we'd best give you a Grime 101 now before it's too late and Grime Lite is all over McDonald's commercials.

Once upon a time (199...

CHATTING SHIT

Lady Sovereign Is Barely Legal

Sex symbols in the British grime scene have so far been a little thin on the ground, unless you're a gay man who fancies anorexic black boys from council estates.
So when Lady Sovereign appeared on the scene...

PARTYING IN PRISON

Shocking Out With Crazy Titch

Don't let this bum you out, but British prison suicides are up by a huge fucking 40 per cent. Right now, with 80.2 per cent of all inmates being certified workheads, life's so bad inside that you've got to have a pretty intense PMA to get to sleep, let alone get the party started....