NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

"Look dude, I just want to say I'm sorry about dropping that anvil on you in front of Lisa. We cool?" Comments/Enlarge | See all


So far the only funny thing Jerry Seinfeld has done is convince an entire generation of unmarried uncles that it’s perfectly acceptable to dress like a member of a New Edition tribute band made up of guys on their first day out of rehab. Comments/Enlarge | See all






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ARTICLES BY JERRY MCPHEERSON


LITERARY/I WANT MY DVDS

Book/Movie Reviews - The Kids Issue

WINDY CITY HEAT
What is the funniest thing in the world? How about cruelty? How about a 12-year prank funded by Jimmy Kimmel where an innocent boob hell-bent on fame...

LITERARY

Book Reviews - The Hugs 'N' Kisses Issue

THE COMPLETE PEANUTS
The original emo kid—no, wait. The original indie rocker. Charlie Brown represents, to most people, that black-striped yellow shirt and holiday TV specials...

HIGH PARK

Acid vs. Shrooms

In the past two years, the tides have turned drastically in the world of recreational drugs. Boredom and unemployment have brought on a massive resurgence of acid and mushrooms....

UNLIMITED DECISIONS

God Save EMI

Why do people who make music get treated like they're not spoiled brats who need their arses kicked? Just because you can put three chords together, I have to take all the red M&Ms out? You rhymed "love" with "dove" and I should stand here while you throw your Merlot in my face? ...

LITERARY

Book Reviews - The Mistakes Issue

RUNNING WITH SCISSORS & DRY
My biggest mistake of 2003 was not getting obsessed with Augusten Burroughs. We totally slept on this shit. Everyone compares him to David Sedaris, and they are similar...

THE AMERICAN TOFFS

Harmon Shows Fops What Dandy Really Means

The New York indie fashion scene had one of its few-and-far-between historical moments in the late 90s, when designers were as ubiquitous in the Meatpacking District as tranny whores and slaughtered cows. Two of the luminaries of that time, a couple of designers who made us very happy, were Susan Ci...

CRAZY CARTOONS

Paper Rad Scares the Shit Out of Cute

The scene: Gumby is lounging on his bed. Prickle enters in a panic and says, "The unidragon ate the prism spheres we hid in Echo Cove!" Gumby panics. "If Santa Witch finds out they're missing, the rainbow graffiti will fade. It will fade!"...

DEAD FLOWERS

Amy Gartrell Does Death Justice

Amy Gartrell's art is a strange and wonderful assortment of Day-Glo goth and new-age bummers-things like portraits of dead rockstars, a giant painting of tattered lace or of Darby Crash's tombstone, a sculpture of an impossibly high wishing well, or graphic, florid, and deadpan representations of th...

THE NOISE HAS ENDED

Black Dice's Tranquil New Life

The debut Black Dice full-length, Beaches and Canyons, is out this month, and it is a full-on psychedelic mindfuck of epic proportions. Which may surprise some, since Black Dice are still known for those aggro powerviolence 30-second bursts of pain they gave up months ago....

THE VICE GUIDE TO FAN FICTION

Sandwiched somewhere between amateur porn pics, romance novel listservs, and Star Trek bulletin boards, there exists fan fiction. This is fandom at its most dedicated. "Fuck owning the director's cut DVD," says this new breed of hemorrhoid-laden überfan. "Let's write twenty years' worth of sequels u...

OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

Kid 606 Has Arisen

Remember the first time you:
French-kissed, rode a roller coaster, successfully shoplifted, went to a (good) punk show, held a puppy, fucked, got drunk, fell in love, realized you're gonna die, saw a rainbow, heard Public Enemy, ate crème brûlée, cried (good cried), got in a fight, laughed so h...

CORPORATE ROCK

The Destruction of the Desaparecidos

Popular music as social criticism has a long history of sucking shit. Whether it's the empty sloganeering of a group like Rage Against the Machine or the always pukey drama of "socially conscious hip hop," entertainers just don't know how to smash the state while sounding like they actually mean it....

THE HEART AND SOUL OF A NEW MACHINE

Bogdan Raczynski's Sickeningly Sweet Love Songs

Bogdan Raczynski, whose musical output up to now has been some all-well-and-good skittery techno on Aphex Twin's Rephlex label, has just released a bona fide masterpiece.

If Steven Spielberg had half a brain, he would have hired Bogdan to compose the score for A.I. - Artificial Intelligence...