NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

OK, just so we're clear, you used a bike wheel to make a sidecar for your bike so you can carry a tiny, folded-up bike with you when you bike. Is this what happens when Germans take acid or just the world's most elaborate variation of "my girlfriend lives in Canada"? Comments/Enlarge | See all


You know 500 years from now some asshole is going to think this is what people in the 20th century looked like. It's like how we take the entire middle ages and go, "Oh yeah, they were a bunch of dickhead knights." Comments/Enlarge | See all






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ARTICLES BY DEREK SMITH


PENIS PANIC!!!

Coming to Terms with Genital Retraction Syndrome

In 2003, the Middle Eastern Research Institute reported on a new craze sweeping the Sudan. People believed that foreigners were roaming the streets of Khartoum and causing the penises of locals to melt in via handshakes and "electric combs." According to Ja'far Abbas, a Sudanese writer, "No doubt, this comb was a laser-controlled surgical robot that penetrates the skull [and moves] to the lower body and emasculates a man!!" Abbas also claimed that the supposed comb-wielding thief was "an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our pe...