ARTICLES BY ABSINTHENYC
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 THE CHIPS HIT THE FAN
Post-9/11 [R.I.P.-Ed.], Americans all know that living is a gamble [tell me about it!-Ed.]. When the World Poker Tour debuted three years back, it caught onto the cultural zeitgeist of a country that had officially SEEN IT ALL [true dat!-Ed.], and every year since its $12 million debut, the prize money has doubled, with no signs of slowing down. As season three kicks off this fall, $70 million is up for grabs [where do I sign up!?-Ed.]. With more championship green ...
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  THE VICE GUIDE TO SHIT
How often have you found yourself at some horrible family event having mind-numbing conversations with 300-pound behemoths about the minutiae of pregnancy and babies? If you listen closely you'll realize all their talk of the runs, abdominal pain, and relaxed deep-breathing techniques is, in essence, all about shit. They are just repackaging the graphically scatological in Mommyspeak. ...
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 BUM RUSH THE WORLD CUP
America's Homeless Soccer CaptainThis past July, nations of the civilized world offered up their welfare bastards in a jingoistic pissing match between social services departments: a soccer tournament. Street people from all corners of the globe were herded to Austria for the inaugural Homeless World Cup....
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 LET'S GO ALL THE WAY
Immersionists Who Go So Far in They Can't Get OutLike a jackknife disappearing into the dark fissure of society's twisted bowels, the new immersionists are stabbing themselves deep into their subject and not coming out until the wounds heal.
The idea of immersionism has been around since George Orwell lived as a bum for Down and Out in Pa...
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 GONE IN 194 SECONDS
New York City's Newest Car ThievesThree Russian kids in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn encircle a Subaru wagon, jabbing their notched shop rulers under the weather stripping and pounding into the doors like a giant sheet-metal gangbang. Horny as fuck with no place to go, New York Russians are putting auto theft up there with lighti...
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