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DOS & DON'TS

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INTO THE INNER SANCTUM

An Expert’s Guide To Getting Backstage

Our friend James sneaks backstage at gigs all the time. It helps playing in a few bands and having a few connections, but most of the time, he’s still manically trying to counterfeit crew passes or talk his way onto a door list. Here are his top five ways for meeting your musical heroes in their own element.

1 Find something heavy, carry it on through
People are generally more willing to let you pass by than offer to give you a hand. Look for something like a bin full of glass. For some reason, trash is usually kept near the band entrance.

Photos by Stephanie Bailly

2 Deliver Pizzas
Don’t go overboard, don’t dress up like a pizza boy or anything. Just act like a dude who’s been sent to get something and come back. Otherwise you’ll be made to stand at the door and relinquish your pies to the bouncer.

3 Make a fake pass
It’s not like painting a fake Renoir. The only trick to it is scoping out a real one ahead of time. This can be done by making friends with support bands or looking for current backstage photos on the Internet. All you need after that is basic Photoshop skills and access to a laminating machine.


4 Urgent delivery
This one takes a bit of acting but should work in most instances. Basically, go to the bathroom and grab an armful of toilet paper rolls. Then, try and walk through security. If they stop you, look annoyed and say something like “apparently there was an accident.”

5 Waiting game
Most of the time getting backstage just means waiting and watching for security to loosen up. This generally happens at the end of the night, but that’s ok because it means the band will be in the rooms partying, totally receptive to your praise and, hopefully, forthcoming with the booze and good times.


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