Zankou Chicken (Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood) This is the place that’s mentioned in the Beck song “Deborah.” It’s the best (and only) Armenian restaurant I’ve ever been to. Affordable and delicious, with the best hummus and garlic sauce in the world. They have a bouncer that’s older than God and about five feet tall. One time I saw him kick this drunk black guy’s ass. The dude was thrice his size.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot—about one year ago Mr. Zankou, the owner, shot his wife and daughters and then himself.

Pho (Sunset Blvd. in Silver Lake) Great Vietnamese food. They serve pho (Vietnamese noodles), really good rice wrap rolls, and Vietnamese crepes, where you make your own fresh rolls.

Papa Cristos’ (on Pico, Koreatown) A Greek grocery/restaurant with really good food and a goofy, fun atmosphere. Thursday night is family night and they make you sit down at big tables and dance and sing and stuff.

Matsuhisa (Sunset Blvd., Echo Park) Fusion menus are usually retarded, but this is Japanese/Chilean food from the same chef as Nobu, and it’s amazing.

The 101 Café and Fred 62 (Sunset Blvd. in Los Feliz) These are both good, basic diners with simple food and shitty service.

Millie’s (3rd St. in Silver Lake) The best breakfast place in town. They used to wear these T-shirts that said “Service with a fuck you” and they were insanely rude to all of the customers. Their gimmick was to be fucking assholes. It was funny, but it got old and they dropped it.

Mr. Ramen (1st St., Little Tokyo) Locals call this place “Reggae Ramen” because the Rastanese man who owns it is always playing B-list reggae, like UB40. Great noodles, though.

The Vegan Circuit (various locations) This is a pretty good soap opera. First there was Vegan Express on Cahuenga in North Hollywood, then the nephew of the old woman who opened it started California Vegan in Hollywood on Sunset. It’s right across from Guitar Center. Then his cousin opened Vegan Glory in West Hollywood on Beverly across from the Beverly Center. NOW the OG cook who fucking ran game and made all the food at Vegan Express (the first one) blasted off and opened the best one, Truly Vegan, which is on Hollywood Blvd. in Hollywood. They are all kind of in competition but have nearly identical menus. You can get a meal and a drink at any location for under $10, and we’re talking a high-end homemade fast-food/noodle vibe here. This is not trash food.

Moshti Malone’s (Labrea and Sunset, West Hollywood) Insane Iranian/Irish ice cream institution, where two cultures not exactly known for ice cream come together and lay down the law. It’s been around for 20+ years and the vegan options, if you care, are off-the-charts weird and delicious. They have Rose Water Pistachio tofu ice cream and Chow Mein Noodle Lemon Sorbet. OK… now you’ve heard everything.

Ethiopian Row (Fairfax between Olympic and Pico Blvd.) World-famous strip of Ethiopian restaurants and a Rasta record shop. For meat dishes, go to the one that says “The Best” in the window. For vegan, go to Rahael.

Burgers

Everyone goes on and on about the burger chains in Los Angeles and how life-changing and definitive the burgers are. Whatever. For our money, though, here are the best:

Pie & Burger in Pasadena, The Apple Pan in Westwood, Jay’s Burger (get the chili burger) at Virgil & Santa Monica, Cassell’s in Korea Town, and In & Out Burger, which is everywhere.