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DOS & DON'TS

If anything’s going to cut through all the divisive bullshit surrounding immigration and bring us all together it’s not going be some corny political slogan or a song or even a chain of restaurants. It’s got to be something profound and universal. Like embarrassing dads. Comments/Enlarge | See all


What does a guy keep in a bag like that? A box of cunts? Comments/Enlarge | See all






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THE VICE GUIDE TO FESTIVALS


Photo by Rebecca Smeyne

When Vice approached me about writing a guide to music (and arts!) festivals, the rollicking extravaganzas were the last thing on my mind as I mulled over the ugly prospect of pitching reviews of shatterproof phone receivers to American Jail or of a new line of boat tarps to Boating. I was game, naturally, and proceeded to round up my laminates (some of which are deactivated security badges to workplaces of the distant past) and mostly full tubes of SPF 20. I sat everything in a pile on the other side of the room, retrieved my emergency stash of Adderall and bananas, fired up the laptop, and my fallen heroes George Plimpton and Studs Terkel soon began to roll in their stinky graves. Divided into artists’ accounts/advice regarding these events and a rundown of the festival-frenzy that’s invading the countryside, Vice’s guide to festivals will map out your next year of pharmaceutical miscalculations, romantic misunderstandings, and hard-won intake of live entertainment.

ANDREW EARLES,
writer/“humorist”/self-proclaimed festival expert, early 2009

See all articles by this contributor

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