FESTIVAL HORROR STORIES - PART 1Aka. Don’t Do Too Many Drugs
| Illustrations by Jessica Penfold |
PEEING ON THE DEAD
I was 14 and it was my first Roskilde so as soon as I got there I ran amok buying chunks of rocky and charris from old hippies with their car boot-style tables of drugs. It started pissing down with rain so we bought some acid. All was well until darkness fell and I wanted to pee. At this point the urge to pee was being intensified by the acid so much that I felt like my veins were filled with urine.
I grabbed a torch from my tent and went to pee by the edge of a field whereupon I stumbled on a body lying in a running stream of piss. It was then that I saw a deathly white face bobbing around so I screamed. I was totally ensconsed in horror. I screamed to others, including complete strangers, telling them that I’d found a dead body and asking what should I do? A group of us stood over the ashen death mask and realised someone had fallen in the stream and was floating face up/face down/face sideways in the water.
Terrified, I retreated to the tent with a random collective of freaked-out people and spent the rest of the night trapped in the tent way too scared to go near the dead person, but trying to figure out a way to contact the police. Would we be suspected of murder? Would we have to go to jail for the rest of our lives?
In the morning we went back there and realised that the body was actually a white balloon caught on a branch, bobbing around in the water and wind. Whoops!
REBECCA, JUTLAND
SUICIDE SPIT ROAST
Some years ago myself and a friend were at the by:Larm festival. We were staying in a hotel close to the site which is frequented by lots of people who work in or are associated with the music scene in some way, shape or form. This hotel is renowned for being the base of operations for many party heads, wankers and degenerates. On the first night of the festival, we got back to the hotel to find the usual antics in full swing. The lobby and bar areas were teaming with wasted youths of every colour and stripe. Pretty soon we found ourselves chatting to this girl and pretty soon after that decided that we all needed a bump so rather than deal with the everlasting queue-bicle, we go to our room on the sixth floor. Once inside my mate took position at the desk while I fished around in various pockets trying to find the bag. That done I left my mate to get on with sorting the lines out. I turned around to find this girl out on the ledge, halfway between either window (remember this was the sixth floor). I started screaming at her to come back inside which seemed to take her about an hour to do. Eventually she listened to reason and we all calmed down and did the lines. When we chopped out another I turned around and found her right back out on the ledge, about to jump off. Visions of her falling or jumping and the likely murder enquiry started racing around my head. I started screaming at her again and eventually she edged back towards the window. As soon as she was within my reach, I dragged her in and threw her on the bed. Very quickly she grabbed my cock and before I knew it, I was taking her clothes off and fucking her. My friend was soon involved and we both fucked her all night long. At one point I was so deliriously high on coke and lust that I think I tried to fuck my mate too. I didn’t, but as they say, it’s the thought that counts.
ALEISTER, BERGEN
CONTINUED
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