< PREV

NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

On the other hand, if you’re a Micronesian Chewbacca who’s never seen snow, you might want to consider something a little more layered and you-sized than this unless you’re studying to be a laugh therapist. Comments/Enlarge | See all


We know you heard men are “slaves to their dick,” but you realize there are limits, right? Like when you come bouncing into the club with a giant panty on your body and fuck-me boots, we laugh at your Jersey ass and even when our dick goes, “Come on, please?” we tell it to fuck off and laugh at both of you. Comments/Enlarge | See all






RELATED ARTICLES

RECORDS
Music Reviews - The What We Do Is Secret ...
UYA UYA A BUYA
The Ups and Downs of My Son Bobby
VICE PICTURES
UNPUBLISHED GAVIN WATSON PHOTOS
SIX STORIES
From a Novel in Progress by Kenneth Gange...



FROM THIS ISSUE

THE VALLEY
It's porn central and Burbank's the movie...
EASTSIDE
There's old money in Los Feliz, and art s...
TRAFFIC TIPS FOR TOURISTS (AND T...
First and foremost, you must have a car i...
DOWNTOWN AND MID-CITY
You got your crack alleys and tent cities...



DOS & DON'TS

People are really “whatever” about miscarriages in Mexico City. You can be at the club and just drop that little fucker on the floor while a bunch of goofs stand around and gawk. Then, as soon as your boyfriend checks under the hood to make sure there’s no embryo goop still hanging down, it’s back to la fiesta like nothing ever happened.Comments/Enlarge | See all



SOUTH CENTRAL

Whites are the minority here; it’s mostly a black and Hispanic population, except USC—a lot of rich white kids there. Be careful which alley you accidentally drive down. There are lots of couches on front porches and bars on windows.


BABE’S & RICKY’S INN
You might ask: Who are Babe and Ricky and how did they read my mind, knowing that I’d be dying for a soul-food buffet after midnight? Well, sweet little Laura Mae Gross took over a jazz club in the 60s and renamed it after her son and nephew. This isn’t the original location, but all the equipment and fixtures are here. Monday nights are a jazz-and-blues open-mic night, and the $8 cover charge will get you the free buffet, with insane collard greens, cornbread, and fried catfish. Don’t ask about the free food because it doesn’t get served until around 11 PM. Just show up early to make sure you can get in and, if you’re lucky, Mickey Champion, who used to sing with Billie Holiday, will perform. Also, Mama Laura don’t take no credit so bring your cash. 4339 Leimert Blvd., Crenshaw, 323-295-9112.

BUSY BEE MARKET
San Pedro has been described as LA’s asshole, with the ugliest population to boot (it was home to the Minutemen, not exactly the foxiest bunch of guys), but if you ever find yourself in this cesspool try checking out “the best sandwich in town” at the Busy Bee Market. A deceptively crappy-looking liquor store, in the back it houses a simple, small-town deli with massive BBQ and Italian-sausage sammitches—basically a meal for two on bread. 2413 S. Walker Ave., San Pedro, 310-832-8660.

CREOLE CHEF
The Creole Chef is a good place to go if the Gumbo Pot piqued your interest in Creole food. It’s super-small and you order at the counter, but they are nice folks and it makes you happy to give them your money. In return, they give you everything with the fried platter: oysters, shrimp, and catfish, with sides of red beans and rice or gumbo. And they even have hush puppies, a Southern delicacy of fried cornbread. 3715 Santa Rosalia Dr., in the Crenshaw Mall, View Park, 323-294-2433.


HAROLD & BELLE’S
Anyone feeling some fried and a side of fried with fried butter on top? Harold & Belle’s is Southern-fried-food heaven. Our stomachs hug us (and then slap us later) whenever we eat here. The meal starts with hot buttered bread, which might as well be fried, and then there’s (fried) crayfish, catfish, shrimp, oysters, crab, and chicken, as well as the gravy-like étouffée (not fried so use this as a cleansing course, much like the way fancy places give you sorbet) and gumbo that’s almost as good as our Cajun memaw’s. 2920 W. Jefferson Blvd., Jefferson Park, 323-735-9023.


Babe’s and Ricky’s Inn

HAWKINS HOUSE OF BURGERS
Yes, this is in Watts, you pussy. Massive, massive burgers guaranteed to shorten your life span by at least five years. Eating at Hawkins is more dangerous than actually getting there. (Psst, there’s one in Altadena too.) This is the kind of burger that drips all the way down to your elbows, so you won’t look like an asshole tucking your napkin into your shirt. Get the Hawkins special: two beef patties, with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, fried eggs, hot links, pastrami, pickles, an old boot, a stick of butter, and a jar of mayo. 11603 Slater St., Watts, 323-563-1129.


PHILLIPS BAR-B-QUE
Brisket, ribs, chicken, links, white bread, sweet-potato pie… bee-bee-kew orgasm. Phillips is takeaway only; you order your food and wait for it outside. If you’re sheltered and afraid of the hood, don’t even bother to come. More BBQ for us. 4307 Leimert Blvd., Leimert Park, 323-292-7613; 1517 Centinela Ave., Inglewood, 310-412-7135.



< PREV




AUSTRALIA | AUSTRIA | BELGIUM: FRANÇAIS/NEDERLANDS | BRASIL | BULGARIA | CANADA: ENGLISH/FRANÇAIS | DEUTSCHLAND
ESPAÑA | FRANCE | ITALY | 日本語 | MEXICO | NETHERLANDS | NEW ZEALAND | SCANDINAVIA | SCHWEIZ | UK | US


ABOUT US | SUBSCRIPTIONS | FIND VICE | MEDIA KIT


© 2000-2009, Vice Magazine North America | E-mail: vice@viceland.com | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Site Development: Solid Sender