STUFF FOR SOBERS
 THE JIMMY CARTER LIBRARY
The library is pretty much the snore-job you’d expect, but if you go around back there’s a big waterfall in the woods that’s the perfect place to relax and quietly secrete all the previous night’s toxins. A few people think this is some “locals only” secret you shouldn’t go telling strangers about. Evidently they haven’t seen the enormous mural of it that takes up one of Mary Mac’s entire walls. 441 Freedom Pkwy. WHIRLY BALL
aka indoor lacrosse in bumper cars, aka the greatest sport ever invented. You have to bring like 15 people to make it worth doing, but they let you drink there and sometimes bands play. 608 Holcomb Bridge Rd. JUNKMAN’S DAUGHTER
This is where you go when the strap on your bondage pants breaks and you need a replacement. 464 Moreland Ave. UNDER THE COUCH
Tucked away in the Georgia Tech campus, go here to see all-ages shows by bands whose names are complete sentences. 840 McMillan St. WORLD OF COCA-COLA MUSEUM
Only worth it for the big room at the end where you can try every Coke product made worldwide. Buried in the middle is an Italian “bitter aperitif” called Beverly that is literally the worst-tasting drink in the universe. We once saw a ten-year-old kid on a field trip down an entire cup on a dare before puking ferociously into and all over the nearby trash can. The cheers were deafening. 121 Baker St NW. GEORGIA AQUARIUM
Another good hangover option is zoning out here in the dark with all the fish. Just try not to bad-trip on the fact that they’ve managed to kill two of their whale sharks in the four years they’ve been open. It was built to be bigger than the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga, which was a pretty dick move considering that was about all Chattanooga had going for it. 225 Baker St NW. STONE MOUNTAIN
This colossal granite dome has served as the site of the 1915 revival of the KKK, a suicide by plane, and for some reason the statue of Tupac that graces the cover of this guide. But its most important role to date is as backdrop for a semi-nightly laser show whose musical set list and graphics have not changed in over 20 years. The surfing monkey they do for the Beach Boys is kind of lame, but it’s hard not to get a little choked up during the closing one-two punch of Elvis’s “American Trilogy” and Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA.” Or not to feel a little weird when all the black families file out at the opening bars of “Dixie.” Take Memorial Dr east past I-285, then follow the signs. TUPAC MEMORIAL PEACE GARDEN
Don’t know about you, but I can think of few better ways to spend an afternoon than strolling through some lilacs and contemplating the serenity of couplets like “Nigga punk-ass motherfucker you ain’t shit without your homeboys/Throw your hands up you little trick coward motherfucker.” Just so we’re all on the same page, Tupac never lived here. 5616 Memorial Dr. DRAGONCON
If you’re around over Labor Day, this is your opportunity to see a guy dressed as a Stormtrooper fall down the stairs at the Sheraton after drinking a liter of vodka. STARLIGHT DRIVE-INI think there’s supposed to be some historical tidbit about this place like it’s the oldest continually operating drive-in in the country or Kennedy once came here. I forget the exacts. They mostly play movies that are out everywhere, but it’s still worth a larf to cram a bunch of friends in your trunk and watch Mall Cop or something while hotboxing the car. 2000 Moreland Ave SE. CYCLORAMA
Who needs a bunch of IMAX shit about sharks when you can slowly rotate in the middle of a giant painting of the Battle of Atlanta? Not stoned people. Shows start on the hour—try to time it so you don’t have to spend too long hanging around the depressingly rundown mini-museum in the lobby. 800 Cherokee Ave SE. HELEN, GA
Maybe a little far afield, but if you need a break from the city you should totally take a day trip up to this fake Bavarian town in the North Georgia mountains. After you’ve ridden a horse up the side of Highway 17 and inner-tubed down the murky, inches-deep Chattahoochee River, you can splurge on all the drug paraphernalia and homemade fudge your 12-year-old heart desires.
 Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
whirly ball really is the best game ever invented. and the drinking only amplifies the fun. you get so fucking pumped when you play you want to do the running chest bump thing with all your buddies afterwards. | |
| awesomer, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
dear badmandan: i think 90% of new jersey is drive-ins, so just head out west and find one | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
does everyone already know about Carter reporting a UFO sighting or does it bear repeating? He’s not the only president whose seen one, BTW | |
| badmandan, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
It has been years since ive been to a drive in movie theatre are there any in brooklyn? | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
atlanta loves tupac because when he saw two cops assaulting a black man on the street, he got out of his car and shot one in the ass. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
i think the statues are the form of an apology for all the kkk stuff that was going down on the mountain. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
i think the statues are the form of an apology for all the kkk stuff that was going down on the mountain. | |
| blackbetty, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
why did atlanta love tupac so much? a memorial garden and a satue? carter only got a library. ah this crazy modern world. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
For everybody complaining about them leaving out restaurants, bars, venues, places to avoid, etc. Please read the rest of the articles in the guide:
www.viceland.com/int/guide_atlanta/htdocs/
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| scrapingthebarrell, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
All these things seem pretty decent but imagine how much more fun they would be if you werent sober. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
The Earl. Totally in a different section of this exact guide:
www.viceland.com/int/guide_atlanta/htdocs/how-to-wreck-your-
head-104.php
| | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
the Earl. One of the best venues in town. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
haha they managed to kill two of their whale sharks? did they just get some shady supplier and by some second hand about to kick it fish. or is the south just inept at keeping fish unless they are on a grill. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
Tupac memorial peace garden? is that a joke or are they trying to be ironic? | |
| mike d, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
I would pay a serious amount of cash to get a glimpse of a stormtrooper drunk off his ass falling down a flight of staris . | |
| danimalthedepraved, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
A few things left out -
1. Dragon Con is a big comic convention.
2. If your looking for something better to do during labor day, go to the Starlight for a little thing called the Drive-invasion, where they have 16 bands and 10 movies over 2 days. You can camp out overnight too. the second day gets to be kinda like some fucked up hobo camp with everyone looking for free beer or moonshine. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
def no shortage of greasy and fried foods in atlanta. it’s also where chik-fil-a and waffle house started. same with gladys knight’s waffles and chicken but unless you are a rapper or tourist you don’t go there. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
There is a coca cola museum?! what the hell. how does coke vary from place to place. are there coke aficionados who compete in blind taste tests? and can name year and which region. that would be cool i guess. | |
| hi fructose, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
how about things to avoid at all costs:
the interstates between the hours of 4 and 7 pm
lenox mall (unless you want to see celebs, then knock yourself out)
buckhead as a whole
piedmont park on a nice day
bankhead alone at night unless you look like a thug | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
what the hell, whirlyball sounds fucking amazing, is it just a atlanta thing or is it all over the country like a rash? | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
the aquarium is not a good hangover option. the only good hangover option is staying in bed until all day and then eating the greasiest food you can get a hold of. works everytime | |
| road_kill, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
there wasnt really sufficient explanation to understand what Dragoncon is, but regardless, I’d be down. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
You know how many truly sober people are in Atlanta? Not many. Driving drunk is when you fall on your way to the car. When everything is longer than a walk and a cab is going to cost you at least $20 for anywhere you go, drunk driving becomes the norm. Crime has gotten so bad that as long as you don’t run up on the curb you should be cool. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
Im rarely sober but most of this stuff sounds pretty fun, and could possibly lead to getting messed up wich is what i find key in making plans for the day. | |
| foxface, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
man im all about going to tupacs memorial gangster garden, I would like to hope that there would be homies there constantly pouring a 40 on the curb, perhaps a fountain in reverse. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
’sober’ means not drunk in my parlance, so feel free to get ripped in another way and partake in any of the above activities. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
my friend Sieklan and I went to Juckman’s D. a few years ago. It was pretty cool but out of place to me, sort of what the fuck is this store doing in Atlanta? I actually have a picture of Siek humping the staircase cause he has a major foot fetish. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
theres an italian restaurant downtown with a rifle shooting range in the basement. I think you have to be a full goomba or know a full goomba to get in but worth it because a warm scotch and a hold-ridden picture of bidladen is always a good way to start off the evening. | | Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
none of these things I would ever do sober. The only time I would is when I am in a deep lull and the events above have been created to fight boredom, and even then Im not sober.
Oh shit I just realized I have a problem. | |
| sketchballer, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote:
oh and how did i forget? international bowl. i guess you could do it sober but i would suggest many cheap drinks at one of the multiple bars and powder in the lockable karaoke rooms. or you can try out one of the six dance dance revolutions if you can kick off the korean kid that will be on it busting moves that would make michael jackson blush. | | | Next 30 comments > |
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