IN THE MAGAZINE

THE FILTHY FIVE

Photo by Matt Miller

I moved here 16 years ago a handsome man. That is no longer the case. This town is like New Orleans. The people wear it on their face. The whole city is on pills and and everyone rides a BMX bike. This is where I drink. Here you go. Enjoy.

EL MYR
A lot of us call this place the “office” and that is no joke. Great Mexican food. Drinks are strong. Brent Hinds from Mastodon gives free guitar lessons in the bathroom. Jukebox is great and lighting is dark, which I am a big fan of. 1091 Euclid Ave NE.

REACTIONARY RECORDS
Located across the street from the Earl in East Atlanta, this is a real record store that sells vinyl. Go there on a Saturday afternoon and say hello to my friend Paul, who owns the place. He DJs and takes requests. Ask him for a cider and look through an amazing selection of punk, dub, reggae, and blues. 465 A Flat Shoals Ave.

MORRIS LOUNGE
Like a scene out of The Mac. The front door is always locked. You knock on it and a big black lady will answer. She usually asks if you are a cop. When you say no, she will let you in. They sell 40s from behind the bar. The whole place is red. One night the guy from Cameo was in the place and the DJ played “Word Up,” causing him to robot for hours. They are down with all races. 2254 Oakview Rd SE.

SOUTHERN COMFORT
A truck stop. A country bar. A gay bar. A gay country truck stop. This place is all of the above. I have done speed in the back with a trucker named Pepsi and drunk Mexican moonshine with a lady who looked like Robert Plant. They’ve got an amazing live band, video games, showers, and surprisingly a really kick-ass pizza. Line dancing, you know this. 1383 Cedar Grove Rd/Conley, GA.

CLERMONT LOUNGE
This is the top of the pops and one of the seamiest strip clubs in the country. The girls have to put their own money in the jukebox to dance. I have seen mother-daughter teams working here, a girl with one arm, and of course there’s Blondie—the Clermont’s resident poetess/stripper whose stage moves include crushing beer cans with her tits and performing lap dances that leave the dancees with black eyes. A friend of mine swears he knew a dancer here that was eight months pregnant. The weekends get a little too crowded with yuppies for my style. I usually like to hit this piece on a Tuesday afternoon or something. 789 Ponce de Leon Ave NE.

TOM CHESHIRE

See all articles by this contributor

Comments

Anonymous, on Jul 14, 2009 wrote: I live off of Carroll St and the bar is where it’s at. Sitting at a table can be another story. But the bar at Carroll is full of win.
	megabreath, on Apr 13, 2009 wrote: who said anything about the "right people?" i’ve been to carroll st and i enjoyed it. the drinks and food was good. fuck "right people" go anywhere with your buds and shit will be epic.
Anonymous, on Apr 10, 2009 wrote: most excellent list tom cheshire. this was the list i was looking for in the guide to atlanta. also, eff carol street. that place is for the up and coming bourgeois. and who cares about the "right people"?
	danimalthedepraved, on Apr 10, 2009 wrote: I think that there should be an entire section in this damn guide to atlanta about the legend of "Get Awesome". anyone else who has spent enough time in atlanta drinking with the Right People should agree.
Anonymous, on Apr 10, 2009 wrote: TOM CHESHIRE!!! Tom’s a legend.
Anonymous, on Apr 9, 2009 wrote: i didnt know people were so meticulous about getting drunk. i just buy a couple sixers from the closest gas station and go to town, fight a tree, and wake up in somenes tomato garden
Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote: for wine drinking you should check out carroll street cafe. decent selection and the layout of the place is outstanding. they also have really good food for cheap.
Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote: Morris Lounge is so much fun. The back room where they will take your photo in front of the airbrushed backdrop and print out your digital photos right there is something I wish I had done more. You will get a few checking-you-out looks when you walk in but after that it’s all smooth sailing. The people are so nice and any place with 40s at the bar is great. You get a Bud 40 with two or three plastic cups upside down on top. The DJ is amazing and you’ll get to see some things you have never seen happen on the dancefloor if you aren’t black. At first I felt like I was encroaching on a sacred place but everyone is so nice. The owner sat with us once and bought us a round.
Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote: Tom Cheshire is my hero.
Anonymous, on Apr 8, 2009 wrote: Can’t believe you popped the cap on Morris’s, man! That shit secret.