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NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

It’s fun to pretend you’re sick so you can sleep past the schoolbus time, but then around 11, when your parents are at work and all your friends are at school, you’re kind of like, “I’m running out of fuckin’ ideas ovah hea.”
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Why? So you can be that hideous, baton-twirling woman from Wordplay and never see a penis ever again?
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DOS & DON'TS

It’s fun going to Girl Talk shows because, as hundreds of people dance their asses off and scream the lyrics to every song you realize nobody at any major label will ever make one penny from this. Comments/Enlarge | See all


THE VICE GUIDE TO MIAMI ART FAIRS - NAOMI FISHER



When Miami native Naomi Fisher isn’t taking amazing photos she’s being really good in bed, apparently. But how do you know if you’re good in bed when you’re a girl? Because the guys you sleep with say you are? We all say that! That’s how we get you to do it more! I think I’m pretty good in bed, though, I do this thing with my fingers, I call it “fingering.” Girls love it.


Self-Portrait by Naomi Fisher
Vice: What’s it like living in Miami?

Naomi Fisher:
It’s a weird place, but I suppose it’s the same as everywhere, except when I want to take a break I can just go to the beach for a few hours. And of course I ride dolphins to get to my studio so it’s pretty cool.

Why do you live there?

I was born here and my blood has never been able to properly adjust to anywhere else (although I am proud to have made it through three months of Berlin winter last year!). Gigantic leaves, swamps, and songbirds are a part of my DNA. Take me away for too long and I get sick and need to be put in a seawater bathtub. Not to mention that while I’ve been writing this 11 green parrots and a flock of ibis just flew by.

How do Miamians feel about Art Basel? Do they hate it? Are they happy about it? Why?

I think most love it. I think others don’t get it. I heard someone say that “art events are where the people in Gucci shoes sip cocktails.” Obviously, he doesn’t know what he is talking about—they wear Prada shoes.

Do you like Art Basel?

Yes.

Dirty Hand, metallic C-print mounted on Plexiglas, 2008.

What’s so good about it?

For the week it’s here, it brings so many amazing people and projects to my town. I’m especially psyched that Gelitin and Olaf Breuning are doing projects here this year.
It also has had a year-round impact, opening the door for greater support for local artists and art institutions. For the past four years I’ve been a part of a steadily growing alternative art space, the Bas Fisher Invitational. Both MoCA and MAM are expanding, the Bass Museum hired Silvia Cubina to revamp its programming, amazing collectors like Rosa de la Cruz are opening new spaces and supporting local artists, Craig Robins is working toward starting a grad school. Basel has been a positive force to give momentum toward strengthening the thriving art community here.

What’s so bad about it?

Since Art Basel is the biggest art event in Miami, people who never cared about culture prior to Art Basel now have an understanding of the art world based purely on the marketplace. They have a mentality like if it doesn’t quadruple in value in three years it’s worthless, that art is some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. Bad galleries have sprouted like weeds. The speculator is a rabid animal that eats its young and shits everywhere.

Is it true that there are iguanas everywhere eating discarded coke baggies?

I haven’t heard that rumor, but iguanas are all over the place. Animals can die if they eat plastic that they mistake for food, so please don’t litter!

Beast Needs iPod, metallic C-print mounted on Plexiglas, 2008.

Do you think Ratso Rizzo would have been OK had he made it to Florida?

If he was still kicking around down here, maybe he would have turned into the jerk who stole my car and drove it to Tampa.

Why is art good?

I think that is a dumb question, first of all. I don’t think anything is either good or bad except for maybe Hitler, and he was bad, fyi.

Are you good?

In bed.


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