THE VICE GUIDE TO MIAMI ART FAIRS - AUREL SCHMIDT
Aurel is an evil little nerdette who lives under a toadstool and draws evil shit. Look at her in that picture. Pretty mean-looking, right? She looks like that little dorky girl from school whose glasses would fog up when you called her names and then one day she snapped and stabbed you in the temple with a protractor.
 Vice: You going to Art Basel this year?
Aurel Schmidt: I think so. I hope so.
What’s your favorite thing about it?
How grimy and sick Miami is. This is a lot of people’s most hated part, but for me… it’s like, all these crazy women with super plastic surgery, tons of makeup, everyone’s overtanned with sick plastic hair, and everyone’s swarming the booths at the art market and… that’s my favorite part.
What part sucks big hairy balls?
The parties at the hotels. You end up in these stupid queues and everybody’s like, “I’m on the guest list! I’m on the guest list!” And even if you are on the guest list you have to wait in this crazy line, and it’s desperate, there’s desperation! There’s like a 55-year-old woman who can’t get in standing beside you and she’s upset with her husband…
But you don’t have to do that anymore, do you? You’re Aurel Schmidt.
What? No, the lines go around the block, so even if you’re on a list you’re still waiting in line. I guess if you were VIP you’d go in the side or something. But, no.
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No I Couldn’t Possibly, Thank You, Yes, 2008, pencil, colored pencil, acrylic, beer on paper, 25” x 31”, courtesy of the artist.
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 Anonymous, on Dec 5, 2008 wrote:
She’s hot. | | Anonymous, on Dec 5, 2008 wrote:
does she have posters or prints available? i want this on my wall. now. | | Anonymous, on Dec 5, 2008 wrote:
yay aurel! found out about her on fecal face a while back and have loved her since. she deserves all the exposure she can get. best stuff in miami hands down. | | Anonymous, on Dec 5, 2008 wrote:
heh. guest lists. i’m only on them when my friends are in town playing, but even then i feel like a douche asking about it. and half the times the pea-brained door guy is either too lazy to look or doesn’t see my name when i can see it myself right on the sheet. and really, what does it save you? 5-7 bucks? yay, one drink! | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
if it zoomed i could see if that coke baggie on the right is penguins or houndstooth. i’m pulling for the latter but it looks unlikely from this vantage. | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
lol @ chloe’s multiple vaginas | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
those little coke vials are the best. one guy i used to buy from would put a different color top on each time he’d come by. it was like some "collect the entire set" promotion from mcdonald’s happy meals | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
chloe sevigny WISHES her vaginas were this talented | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
hey wankers, aurel has been featured on art talk! on vbs. go here -> www.vbs.tv/shows.php?show=1005
and she has different (better!) glasses | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
she has a bunch more really cool pieces on tiny vices. the tv store also has her book with stuff like the one here. | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
is art basel like a trade show for art? it kind of sounds that way. doesn’t sound too tempting to me. granted, nothing with crowds these days is too tempting. | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
only one and no magnify. crap. aurel is great though. so nice that you included her here. | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
maybe i’m just thinking about chloe sevigny, but should i recognize this girl? | | Anonymous, on Dec 4, 2008 wrote:
what? we only get one? love this kinda stuff. | | |
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