NEWSLETTER



DOS & DON'TS

We love these East Village tweakers who broadcast public-access TV shows from their mother’s living room in Alphabet City. They are the real New York, and the neighborhood would suck without them. Never go away, Crimson Bernie! Comments/Enlarge | See all


Taking in an exchange student seems like a bad decision when he walks in on you in the bathroom or wants to learn about baseball. But come on, how good is the part when you and your friends teach him that the American way to answer the phone is "Hello fancy lady?" or that it's customary to present your host with a 10-inch swath from the bottom of each garment after a dinner party? Pretty good. Comments/Enlarge | See all








DON'T


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Doesn't he remind you of that nursery rhyme about the condiment man who lived in a shoe filled with so many world-music albums that all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't get him inside a vagina again?

Comments

oatmeal, on Feb 9, 2009 wrote:
Ketchup and mustard: FOOD ONLY!!!
Anonymous, on Jan 31, 2009 wrote:
fuck the guy below me. get with it.
Anonymous, on Jan 17, 2009 wrote:
huh? what’s this have to do with "world" music?
Anonymous, on Jan 8, 2009 wrote:
orange cords? corduroy bear would be aghast.
Anonymous, on Jan 8, 2009 wrote:
this guy gave up way too early in life
Anonymous, on Jan 7, 2009 wrote:
when penny and the brain skipped town, gadget dropped the "inspector" and got really into cooking shows.
Anonymous, on Jan 6, 2009 wrote:
are you trying to attract attention to your awfulness?
Anonymous, on Jan 6, 2009 wrote:
99 problems but an inch ain’t one
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
Notice how his outfit matches the garbagecans across the road...
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
You got it well wrong this time and not for the first time. This is the Belgian version of a cool dad whose major hero is David Byrne. I like this bloke.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
fuck you all, velour is to white people what purple is to kneegrows.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
he really has no clue, does he? kind of sad.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
poor guy...
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
this is why there’s no such thing as winter fridays
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
i see only two prognoses - married or asexual
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
at least he’s not wearing uggz like the bitch on the right
lowbrow, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
it looks like the ghost of john lennon is recreating his role on the abbey road cover behind him.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
so if he took off his fleece he’d be wearing an orange shirt, orange pants, black topcoat, black shoes, and black briefcase? what is he? the biggest fan of halloween known to man?
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
mr. smithfield’s friends told him that crooks in new york would steal even the clothes off your back. he took them a bit too seriously and wore a mixture of his worst just in case.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
hi, dad
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
david byrne if he never went to the Rhode Island School of Design
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
so when you say inside do you mean like being stuffed back in there like he’s being born again or just "in there like swimwear"?
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
i have some of those shoes and while the only time i wear them outside the house is to grab the mail, they are some damn comfortable kicks, i must say.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
if i were him i’d get a van with no windows, then drive around town asking kids if they’d like a jolly rancher. you know, just for shits and giggles.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
this guy is probably so rich he doesn’t care what vice or anyone else thinks about him. he most likely has a uber hot wife that’s popped out a couple 9s and a son to keep the douchebaggery alive for at least one more generation.
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
really, is there anyone out there that would oppose simply striking the color orange out of existence?
Anonymous, on Jan 5, 2009 wrote:
if there was a superhero whose cause was being comfortable, he would be it

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